Despite achieving her first Billboard No. 1 hit, pop vocalist and rapper Lizzo was in a state of depression.
The 4-time Grammy winner, who released her fifth studio album Bitch last week, recounted the success of her 2017 breakout song “Truth Hurts” on the Tuesday (June 9) episode of podcast And the Writer Is…. Rather than reveling in her success at the time, around the 52-minute mark of the video below, Lizzo said she was “actually very depressed” and in a “really dark place” at the time.
“I think a lot of artists, when they have their first big moment, there's always some other like, fucked up shit that happens,” Lizzo told host Ross Golan.
The artist detailed the promotional “grind” that she had done “pre-COVID,” including club engagements, frequent interviews and traveling.
“And then I had a lot of people around me who were kind of manipulative and I was being pulled in a lot of directions,” she continued. “It was really, really dark ‘cause I was getting no sleep. We were drinking, working, coping and you're exhausted.”
Even when reaching a “great milestone,” things began “going wrong” for Lizzo during a rehearsal she had in New Orleans. The occasion was also when “Truth Hurts” landed at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.
“People were fighting over my attention and fighting over titles and trying to pull me here and there and I didn't have the energy for any of it,” Lizzo recalled. “And I was really sad and like heartbroken over some love shit and I remember [thinking] ‘Oh, this feels like shit.’”
The icing on the cake, literally, was when Lizzo’s crew surprised her with a congratulatory cake, which she wasn’t excited about. “I was like, ‘I just want to go to sleep. I don't care. This doesn't feel like anything,’” Lizzo continued.
The artist recognized the “impact” later when she began to reap the benefits of her first hit. “I think you realize the impact of that afterwards when everyone starts treating you differently you're like, ‘Oh, maybe something did happen,’” she expressed.
While reaching No. 1 wasn’t the lowest point of Lizzo’s career, ironically, she admitted that she felt most “insecure” upon the release of “Truth Hurts” and wanted to quit music. “I was just like, Why am I doing this? I could just go work at Smoothie King or something and just sing gigs.”
While Lizzo’s persistence in music eventually paid off, the musician has admittedly struggled with promotion around the release of Bitch and pointed to a downturn in marketing.
