And just like that, Cassie Howard and Nate Jacobs are a married couple, though their shot at living happily ever after seems poised to elude them at breakneck speed.
Sunday (April 26), Euphoria fans were invited into the elaborate (and inconceivably expensive) wedding of the two complementarily troubled characters, played by Sydney Sweeney and Jacob Elordi. In attendance for the marathon of fake smiles and performative bliss were guests both expected and not, including Rue (Zendaya), Maddy (Alexa Demie), and Jules (Hunter Schafer). For the ceremony, Cassie wore a dress co-designed by Jackson Wiederhoeft with Natasha Newman-Thomas, while Nate was again outfitted in custom Bottega Veneta.
But before we dig any deeper, it would be unfair not to point out that, yes, this article does indeed contain spoilers for Euphoria’s third season, so proceed with caution if you’re not caught up on the latest round of the Sam Levinson-created hit.
With that out of the way, keep reading for a rundown of some of the wildest—not to mention the bloodiest, awkwardest, and most uncomfortable—moments from the new season’s third episode, winkingly titled “The Ballad of Paladin.”
Maddy’s grand entrance, and heartbreaking exit
Maddy’s entrance, fittingly captured in slow motion, is one for the books.
“Maddy didn’t know what she wanted more, to get in between Nate and Cassie, or make a little money,” Rue says in the narration, nodding to the character’s previous reconnection with Cassie in pursuit of OnlyFans stardom. We then cut to Nate vomiting in a bathroom.
Ultimately, Maddy leaves the celebration early, with Jules later suggesting to Nate that she “got a little more emotional than she anticipated.”
Cassie’s mom throws cold water on the hype of marriage
“I remember waiting to walk down the aisle towards your father, just like today, filled with hope and aspirations and all the smiling people,” Cassie’s mother, Suze (played by Alanna Ubach), says as she walks arm-in-arm with her daughter. “They were so joyous, and there I was never realizing it was the last happy moment I’d share with your father. God, I looked so beautiful before I started looking like an anorexic witch. The band was playing a happy tune. … Who would have expected we had such terrible arguments, disappearing for days on end, and as I marched down the aisle like we’re doing now, it never occurred to me the brutality of the man that I never knew before. It’s like, how could I be so naive, misjudging? I mean, it’s not like a mistake you can fix.”
As Cassie arrives to a smiling Nate, Suze abruptly abandons this rhetoric, deeming her daughter “everything to me” and “my masterpiece.”
Nate’s dad has a heart-to-heart, of sorts, with Jules
The relationship between Cal Jacobs (played by the late Eric Dane) and Jules is sordid, to say the least. During a brief but revealing one-on-one at the bar, the two acknowledge this.
“Remember me?” Jules asks.
“How could I forget?” a drunk Cal responds. “It’s not every day you fuck one of your son’s high school classmates.”
From there, a certain recording that proved pivotal in past seasons is brought up, with Cal apologizing for its existence while arguing that it was never intended to be publicly shared.
“I just wanted to jerk off to it,” he explains. “Relive the experience.”
Referencing Cal’s arrest, Jules points out that she was expecting the authorities to reach out to her, but they never did. As Cal details, he was busted for a different video involving “a guy who was two and a half months away from turning 18” who lied about his age, “just like” Jules.
“Somehow, your video never made it to the police,” Cal adds, to which Jules, after cutting a glance in Nate’s direction, remarks, “Someone must have been looking out for me.”
The same isn’t true of Cal, who is now a registered sex offender after copping a plea deal.
Wedding guests go off to a cover of Lil Jon’s “Get Low,” performed by a James Brown impersonator
A more lighthearted moment in the new episode features the Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz classic “Get Low,” as performed by a James Brown impersonator and backing band. The 2003 hit, still a playlist staple to this day, inspires a newly less morose Suze to hit the stage herself, at one point belting out a key balls-focused line from the song’s chorus.
A loan shark with a decidedly short fuse crashes the wedding to threaten the quasi-happy couple
The tone shifts dramatically, both for Cassie and Nate and everyone in their orbit, with the surprise arrival of Naz (played by Jack Topalian), to whom Nate—in over his head after taking the reins of his father’s construction company—owes money.
The moment proves to be the schism between believably feigned okayness, and apparent doom, with neither Cassie nor Nate able to fully fend off suspicions from those around them after Naz’s appearance. At one point, Naz jokes that his invitation must have been “lost in the mail,” while Cassie makes it clear that she is unaware of who, exactly, this man is.
“Don’t you think it’s a little foolish to throw such a lavish party when you owe so many people money?” Naz asks, with Nate attempting to reassure him that he does, in fact, have the money and will repay his debts soon.
This isn’t good enough for Naz, however, who continues to press the issue by pointing out the copious amounts of champagne, lobster, and caviar being enjoyed by the couple and their guests.
“I used to be your husband’s friend, now I’m gonna become his worst fucking nightmare,” he tells a concerned Cassie.
Sweeney, speaking about the episode in a recently released behind-the-scenes video, describes the cascading experience of Cassie and Nate’s wedding as follows:
“The ceremony was impeccable. This was supposed to be the best day ever for Cassie and Nate, but everything falls apart.”
Cassie accidentally pops a champagne cork into Nate’s eye
As tensions rise, and Cassie, in Sweeney’s own words, “starts to learn and realize that Nate has been lying to her this entire time,” an unfortunately timed cork-popping leaves Elordi’s character with a bruised eye.
“You’re not who you say you are,” she says seconds before the cork flies into Nate’s face. “You want me to be the perfect housewife? You want me to cook and clean and suck your cock? I mean, we don’t even have money for food. You’re not a man. Men provide.”
While Cassie and Nate arrive at a ceasefire by the time they’re in a limo and on the way back home, this brief taste of mythical post-marital bliss is short-lived.
Nate isn’t exactly 10 toes down
Having made peace, at least for the moment, Cassie and Nate enter their home to find Naz waiting in the dark.
“How romantic,” he says. “That was a beautiful wedding. I didn’t want to cause a scene.”
A veritable scene, however, is then caused at the couple’s home, with one of Naz’s associates punching Nate in the face and pushing Cassie to the floor. As Nate’s assault continues vigorously in the background, Cassie, centered in the frame, starts to cry after noticing blood coming from her nose.
“I’m bleeding,” she says tearfully. “This is my wedding night.”
Naz interjects to note that Cassie’s husband fails to “listen to reason,” to which Cassie, somewhat hilariously, agrees. Nate is then dragged down the stairs and back to the carpet, where, severely beaten and bloodied, he unsuccessfully attempts to fight off his assaulter. Meanwhile, he pleads with the men to give him time to repay his debts, though Naz has different plans.
He produces a pair of pliers, then uses them to snip a toe off Nate’s foot, leading to massive blood loss.
“Some women inherit wealth, but others inherit debt,” Naz cautions to Cassie as he makes his exit.
Will Nate turn things around? Will he be forever nine-toed? Presumably, we’ll get some clarity this coming Sunday (May 3) with the debut of the fourth episode of Euphoria’s third season.
In the meantime, revisit our previous Euphoria Season 3 coverage here and here, respectively.
