Tiffany Haddish is breaking down her dating red flags with jokes, honesty, and a whole lot of unfiltered commentary.
During a hilarious segment on The Drew Barrymore Show, the comedian played a game of "Red Flag, Yellow Flag, Green Flag," in which she reacted to some questionable dating scenarios — and she did not hold back. When Drew Barrymore asked how she'd respond to a first date who goes all-in with a heavy-tongued kiss, Haddish immediately spiraled into comic disbelief.
"That's a slow down," Haddish declared. "If it feels like I'm choking on his tongue, like his tongue is in my tonsils, I don't want it. I don't want it."
In true Tiffany Haddish fashion, she added that she was taught to match a kiss, but learned the hard way that men can't always take what they dish out.
"If they stick their tongue down your throat, you stick your tongue down his throat. Guess what? Men don't like it when you do that to them," said Haddish.
From there, the red flags started flying. When a guy refuses to eat vegetables, Haddish made it clear she wasn't messing with that kind of man.
"Oh no. No, no, no," she said, laughing. "He probably gonna have a bad attitude. He gonna be constipated and stuff."
Another red flag was a man who let his dog lick his mouth, which Haddish effortlessly turned down. But not every scenario got a red flag, such as someone bragging about dating a celebrity.
"I'm always down for a little gossip," she joked. She also made it clear that she wouldn't judge anyone who tried to secure dinner rolls before the appetizers arrived, given soaring grocery prices.
"With this economy? I'm with it. We in hard times right now," said Haddish, before giving a hard no regarding a date who sends a nude before the first meetup.
"Don't take pictures of it!" she said. "If he's showing me all the jewels right off the top? That's a no. That means he got that picture circulating through his telephone."
On the flip side, Haddish appreciated a man ordering five entrées and finishing them all, and would even give a chance to a man who gave her an immediate pet name — if he was handsome. She also has no problem with a man carrying a stuffed animal named after her.
"I'm okay with him having an emotional support stuffed animal," she admitted. "I carry my dog everywhere."
When Drew tossed out a final scenario, a date announcing they "have to go tinkle," Haddish's expression said it all. She would also consider a man with a foot fetish.
"Depends on how fine he is, but I'm okay with that," Tiffany said with a laugh. "If he's a shrimper, I can provide."
After the game, Haddish hyped her new Peacock series Tiffany Haddish Goes Off, which follows her and her real-life childhood friends on a trip to Africa. The show premieres November 13 on Peacock.