Image via Complex Original
Video games have helped re-align the definition of "weird" in the collective American Mind. Years of oh-so-innocent cartridges and discs have been the vehicle for smuggling strange concepts into the mainstream. Murderous plumbers, sprinting hedgehogs, androgynous heroes—no one blinks an eye at that used-to-be crazy stuff nowadays.
But some games are simply TOO weird. Even they lurk on the fringe of the gaming community, prancing about in ballet slippers and post-apocalyptic facepaint, shouting insane nonsense. We're not sure how some of these games ever got made, but we're glad they exist because they remind us that, despite the questionable material on our hard drives, we're still relatively normal.
In celebration of Catherine joining the ranks of those creatures that exist on the fringe, we've compiled a list of the strangest stories ever told from the weirdest games ever sold.
By Ryan Woo
Katamari Damacy Series (PS2)
Complex Says: Katamari is the most normal series on this list. It gets away with its soul clumping oddities because it's so damn charming. Why do people love De La Soul? They're weird, but they're universally adored because they've got that certain allure everyone can relate to.
Despite the fact that you're playing a dildo-headed prince who pushes around a giant ball while picking up items such as erasers, RC cars, bananas, cats, and planets, we've never met anyone who played the game and disliked it. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the prince suffers from the same insecurities as everyone else with overbearing parents. Thanks, tiger moms. To be clear, becoming a violin virtuoso at age 12 was not worth all the punches to the stomach on the school bus. No more favors, please.
No More Heroes Series (Wii)
Complex Says: No More Heroes breaks the fourth wall often, satirizing our own strange Otaku culture. But games and anime made us strange in the first place, no? So is NMH really weird or is that just how we are these days? Whether this game just puts a mirror in front of our faces or actually takes cultural fetishism to another level is difficult to answer. At least that's what Hotaru told us when we re-stuffed her with new polyester filling. When we placed her on the bed next to the other Moe pillows, they were, in fact, jealous.
WarioWare: Smooth Moves (Wii, 2007)
Complex Says: This collection of lightning-quick mini games could have easily been part of some "reprogramming" torture session for prisoners in a gulag. You know, where they hold your eyelids open with toothpicks for hours on end and force you to stare at images of Satan's asshole, dead babies, and decapitated puppies. Don't pretend like you forgot about the dark room.
One thing though, WarioWare is even weirder than that. Check out some of those games in the clip... Feeling like John McCain yet?
Ai Cho Aniki (PC Engine, 1995)
Complex Says: If Gears of War and Army of Two came out of the closet, neither would be as homoerotic as this. Should gay people be offended by this game, though? The over-the-top flamboyance reeks of stereotypical stuff we see on TV and film. Either that or it's the manliest game ever to exist. it's a toss up. It's not even the homoeroticism that makes it weird. It's just WEIRD, period.
Mister Mosquito (PS2, 2002)
Complex Says: In MM, you assume the role of a mosquito whose objective is‚ naturally‚ to suck up enough blood for the winter. That's not exactly a Call of Duty design doc. The kawaii art direction is misleading. There's nothing cute about playing a malaria-spreading asshole responsible for the death of millions. If MM had been set in a third world country instead of Japan, there would have been a giant collective hemorrhoid of butthurt, resulting in accusations of "insensitivity" on the part of SCEA.
Parodius Series (PSX, Sega Saturn, SNES, Arcade)
Complex Says: This self parodying series by Konami was never released in the states. It was probably deemed too weird by the Japanese Ministry of Exporting Odd Shit to the Gaijin. Hippie-flipping westerners at Burning Man wouldn't even be able to come up with a game like this.
Parodius isn't that weird to us. Then again, nothing on 4chan fazes us anymore so we're a shitty barometer. If it's any consolation, we'd give anything to have our sanity back.
Toilet Kids (Turbografx 16, 1992)
Complex Says: It's not a coincidence that this is, like, the third Japanese shooter on our list. Basically, a kid wakes up in the middle of the night to drop a deuce, but then he gets sucked into a magical world where he's under assault by fecal matter.
Honestly, we wish stuff like this would happen when we make midnight assaults on the bathroom. We read a cool article one time and learned how lizards molt. Another time we saw God... or was that the effects of the Indian food? Regardless, we've never experienced anything this great.
Bad Mojo (PC, 1996)
Complex Says: This gem is based on Kafka's Metamorphosis, so you know it wasn't sold at Wal-Mart. If you know anything about this literary classic, then you won't be surprised to learn you play a scientist who turns into a cockroach. That makes you the polar opposite of, say, Master Chief or Kratos. Although this cockroach did have more personality than Master Chief.
Bad Mojo was actually an interesting adventure game, in the vein of games like 7th Guest. "Interesting" being gamer-speak for weird, that is.
LSD: Dream Emulator (PSX, 1998)
Complex Says: This wasn't a game in the traditional sense. You progress through different "days" of tripping on LSD without a real goal. So that part makes sense. Yes, the game is as visually traumatic as you think it is.
We're wondering how many people did LSD and then played this game? We'll never know. We're just guessing but those upstanding citizens probably lost their minds and threw themselves into an industrial grinder at a meat-packing plant.
Seaman (Dreamcast, 1999)
Complex Says: Did you ever have Sea Monkeys? Now imagine if those shrimp REALLY grew human faces like on the box and started cursing you out. Would you freak out, or do what we'd do and stir fry them in hoisin sauce? Talking human/fish/amphibian creatures are an ingredient on Iron Chef. They don't belong in video games. By the by, raising zygotes is never a fun concept for a game. The fact that they turn into self aware frog-douches makes it even less appealing.
