10 Video Game Worlds We Wish Were Real

Escapism is just that – an escape. It doesn’t provide you with a new home in a new world that defies your current reality. It’s why games are so tortuous and why LARPing exists; with as many real life hours that we pour into these immersive gaming worlds, we can never pack a carry-on and visit Hyrule.

And frankly, were those worlds ever to come into existence, we’d lose a third of humanity’s citizens either by invading Hordes or people wanting to move to a place where you can punch an elf without having to take LSD.

We’ve already lost scores of good people to rampant cosplay and furry-dom, so imagine what would happen if Zanarkand suddenly popped up on Google Maps.

So let us venture deeper into delusion while we rattle off ten gaming worlds what we wished were real.

To all the 80’s babies that wished their Megadeth poster was more than a mere wall companion to their Cindy Crawford calendar: this world’s for you.

Seemingly endless grass fields combined with Lita Ford, heavy metal demons, and rampant face-melting equates to a place where shitty trance music could never exist. We’d rip through vast lands in our fire-breathing hot rods to go to McDonald’s on a midnight run. The only deities would be the Gods of Metal, and we’d go to a church made out of bones and skulls every Sunday, where we’d sing hymns such as War Pigs.

Obligatory inclusion? Perhaps. The bright hues of the Mushroom Kingdom are alluring, but who wants to live in a world where a rapist turtle can swoop down and upturn your shroomy little life in a heartbeat?

Nostalgia would ultimately best our common sense. Never mind the fact that the water worlds would, in reality, be terrifying. Never mind the fact that the overtly realpolitik Koopa climate too closely resembles that of certain Earth nations.

Because we’d finally be able to ask the Princess ourselves why she keeps getting “kidnapped.”

We’re a bit torn on this one, but one thing needs to be made clear – we’re only referring to Zack Island here in regards to the DOA universe. So while it would be exhilarating to live on a fantasy island where you can win a girl’s heart by sending a thong to her room, we also have to deal with the fact that anime style girls would look like this IRL.

Why would anyone want this hellish armpit of death to exist? Because America could use it as training grounds for our armed forces. No one could ever mess with us again.

At least one world from Final Fantasy had to make an appearance on this list. FFXIII’s was beauty incarnate, but Vanille’s voice would puncture your eardrums as soon as you set foot on Gran Pulse. Spira is equally stunning, but with Free Willy’s inbred cousin threatening to eat the planet, we’d steer clear. 

Ivalice, however, stands as a beacon of relative realism replete with politics, Moogles, Vieras, kingdoms, and magick. Out of all the FF’s, it’s the one in which we can envision buying some weekend property.

56% of our happy childhood memories are encapsulated in this series. Of that 56%, 38% of those involve Ariel or Jasmine in some form or another (don’t ask).

The last truly great adventure game of the 90’s gave us one of the most breathtaking landscapes ever to spring forth from a monitor. It closely enough resembles our world for familiarity’s sake, but with enough of a twist to remind us that it’s still something we’d never see IRL without substance assistance.

Riven’s islands would be our perfect refuge were we ever to commit a crime and had to run, save for the puzzles which would get very old very fast if we had to solve one every time we cooked a frozen dinner or mowed the lawn.

Our modern Europe isn’t bad, but it lacks talking pigs. Hyllis, on the other hand, has Pey’j. Few virtual worlds have seamlessly blended European architecture with a futuristic setting that didn’t feel bleak. Despite the game’s Orwellian themes, vast open green space still managed to dominate the backdrop.

We’re not trolling. Hear us out on this one.

There is literally NOTHING in this world except for some stupid blocks. It pre-dates Minecraft, and even all the 8-bit games.

Ancient cybernetic AI assholes be damned, we’d give anything to live out our space colony dreams in this universe. We’d start our own show in the spirit of No Reservations, traversing the galaxies in search of intergalactic cuisine while continually inebriated on intergalactic substances.