Marlon Wayans explained his hilarious reason for not yet being married in his fifties.
In a vlog posted last Thursday (March 12), the actor and comedian shared footage from a December stand-up comedy show in Oxnard, California. Around the three-minute mark of the video below, he spoke to a group of women wearing White Chicks-inspired wigs, presumably celebrating a bachelorette party.
“I thought I was hallucinating,” Wayans joked, before referencing other gags from the 2004 flick, which starred him and his older brother, Shawn Wayans.
The HIM star asked the bride how old she was, to which she answered twenty-seven, catching Wayans off-guard.
“Life is a long time, n***a. I'm 53. I ain't been married yet,” said the father of two. “No, I just don't want to waste this dick.”
He continued, “There's a lot of needy people in this world that need dick. And I don't want to deprive the world of… My assignment is to deliver dick. That's what ‘Marlon’ is. My angel name means ‘Deliverer of Dick.”
Wayans then joked that the woman will think marriage is “dope” until her mid-40s.
“Then marriage is going to feel like prison. You go, ‘Hurry up and die,’” he added. “I mean, it's a cute concept. We grow old together. I don't want to see no seventy-year-old pussy. Kill me, n***a, I'm sorry.”
The comedian is the youngest of the Wayans siblings, and previously said that he hadn’t been married because he didn’t want his late mother, Elvira Alethia, to feel “jealous” or “second” to his spouse. The Wayans family matriach died in 2020 at 82 years old.
“Mom was very needy,” Wayans told The New York Times in 2024. “I told my mother on her deathbed, 'I never got married because I always wanted you to be my No. 1 girl.' Those were my last words. I said, 'Take that to heaven with you.'"
