Jennette McCurdy continues to unpack some of the most complicated chapters of her past, this time speaking candidly about a teenage relationship with a significantly older man she met while working on iCarly.
On the Call Her Daddy podcast, McCurdy said she was 17 or 18 when she began dating a man in his mid-30s. While she has previously referenced the relationship in her 2022 memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died, the new interview offered more detail about how the dynamic unfolded and why it left a lasting impact.
McCurdy explained that the relationship began with subtle forms of attention that felt validating at the time. The man, who had a live-in girlfriend, spent time with her after work, sharing movies and music he believed she would like. “I didn’t like them,” she admitted, adding that she went along with it anyway to maintain his interest.
She described the experience as emotionally draining, saying she only saw him in brief windows and felt pressured to be constantly available. “When he calls, I go,” she recalled, noting that the imbalance made her feel exhausted and disposable.
Raised Mormon and homeschooled, McCurdy said she had planned to wait until marriage to have sex and didn’t feel emotionally prepared for sexual intimacy.
Still, she described how the relationship gradually crossed boundaries, driven by what she now recognizes as a power imbalance. The man framed his expectations around his own needs while presenting himself as respectful of hers, a language McCurdy now sees as manipulative.
Looking back, she described the relationship as “addictive,” explaining that the cycle of anticipation and emotional highs followed by crashes kept her stuck longer than she understood at the time. “My nervous system is hijacked,” she said.
The relationship ultimately ended around the time of her mother, Debra McCurdy’s, death in 2013, though the two briefly reconnected afterward. McCurdy said revisiting the experience while writing her upcoming novel Half His Age—out January 13—brought up unresolved anger she didn’t realize she was still carrying. “Writing is my way to closure,” she shared.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual assault or coercive relationships, help is available. In the U.S., you can contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org for confidential support and resources.