Image via Complex Original
One's the under-drafted Big Ten quarterback with a penchant for winning Super Bowls. The other's uh... Tom Freaking Brady. Sure, one's freshly divorced and one's married to one of the hottest models in the game, but which one's got the freshest rigs?
Before they take the field for 49, we broke down their respective styles and even ran some really accurate simulations to see who is better at dressing themselves off the field (or maybe we didn't). Who came out on top? Find out as we stack up their respective wins and losses in the realm of menswear.
First off, the upstart. Far and away, Russell Wilson's worst and most distinctive sartorial habit is his penchant for black-on-black-on-black suit combos. The cast of Goodfellas wore cheerier outfits than this.
The preference from black even extends to this Michael Jackson…Nutcracker…whatever thing.
Which is a shame, because when Wilson does rock a more traditional combo, dude looks great. See that, Russell? It's…a suit. You should wear one more often.
On the whole, Wilson's not a bad dresser, but there always seems to be just one thing off about each of his outfits. Here we see a perfectly fine getup ruined by a common West Coast pathology—over-layering syndrome.
And here, we see the same wooly scarf paired incongruently with a shiny dandy suit jacket, rather than a softer tweed blazer.
WHITE SHIRT, MAN. Geez, how hard is that to remember?
And don't even get us started on his casual outfits, which range from standard frat-issue cargo board shorts…
…To this thing, literally worn alongside the cast of Entourage. All in all, we've seen much worse from our star athletes, and there's plenty of time to improve. But Wilson's got to work on his general stylistic compass a bit.
Now, the legend. Brady has been the apex of NFL style for going on a decade now, which isn't saying much. But with his cosmopolitan sensibilities and model-caliber white boy looks, Brady's always been expert at making clothes look good.
In fact, it's almost like Brady's had the fundamentals of style mastered for so long, that when he screws it up now, it's due to excessive bravado and experimentation. Here he is again, wearing a good suit perfectly, which is a relative rarity nowadays…
…Because stuff like this is far too common nowadays. Everything fits, everything works together per se, but it's just too dandy, too cute. You don't need a newsboy cap AND contrast piping AND chunky glasses that probably don't do anything, all on the same outfit. This is a man whose closet has outgrown his sense of good taste.
Of course, Brady being Brady, sometimes it all comes together right. This is an enviable casual outfit, with the presumably very expensive textured knit under a topcoat worn as only Dreamboat can.
And one place where Touchdown Tom doesn't mess around with novelty is the Met Costume Gala, where he always wears a flawless tux with his supermodel wife, and you realize your life is completely empty and devoid of joy.
…And then there's the complete opposite of that, the Kentucky Derby, where Brady always shows up in the most ridiculous, troll-tastic getup that'll have Boston sports fans ragging on his sexuality. Live by the Brady, die by the Brady.
All in all, though, it's impossible not to give the victory to Tom Terrific here, a football fashion icon if there ever was one. But wait a minute: Wilson's in his 3rd season, and Brady's in his 15th. We're kind of grading on a curve, right? What did Brady look like when he was Wilson's age?
Winner: Tom Brady
Oh, well. Carry on then, Young Seahawk.