Image via Complex Original
1.
today timothy francis duncan (i made the middle name up) attempts to right the wrong that was game 6 of the 2013 nba finals maybe capping off one of the most swagless careers in human history. the landscape of the nba has changed dramatically since duncan's career began in 1946. since then america won world war 2 n sometime later nba dictator davidoff stern ended allen iverson's reign of throwback jersey tall tee terror with the dress code, which means all nba players today dress like trendy captain crunch in high waters at all nba events. thru out all of this one thing was certain: tim duncan was somewhere dressed in the most washed up of garments. let's take a quick look back at some of the fits that the fashion anti-christ wore.
Pauly C is your favorite writer's favorite non-writer living in Maryland. You can follow his personal Tumblr here, see more of his favorite NBA fashion here and follow him on Twitter here.
2.timmy
3.timmy1
this is a multi million dollar man wearing some kind of aeropostale shirt n an honors student backpack. he prolly even had a 25 point/10 rebound night n walked out looking like he just failed the calculus portion of a physics exam. (what do they have in physics exams? gravity? telekinesis? issac newton facts? issac newton is prolly tim duncan's favorite physicist n bet he prolly has a ranking of at least 10 of em).
4.timmy2
the big fundamental here with the swag of a 90s landlord. while most nba players are slimming down, timothy is turning up. nobody outside of maybe allen iverson has held on to the 90s as hard as tim duncan. ur boy has bell bottom denims. man if u see bell bottom denims u kno there's a dungeons n dragons board nearby.
5.timmy3
cattle herding shirt game on lock even shaq gotta respect it.
6.timmy4
carmelo anthony once took a picture with george bush. tim duncan met george bush while wearing murdered out black auntie pajamas. it's basically the same thing.
7.timmy5
oh nah this a rated r outfit. no child should have to see this. only timmy can dress like an instagram meme after 500 ppl reposted n put their own filter on it. just fuzzy, outta focus n ur not really sure what the message is supposed to be based on the picture. if michael jordan n tim duncan ever took a picture together the amount of stone wash would blind ur eyes n singe ur eyebrows.
8.timmy6
dont slip for a second in san antonio or timmy will snatch ur wifey while wearing a graphic button up. last year he divorced his wife n picked a younger prettier woman almost immediately. he may not look like it but he really is just one of the guys.
9.timmy7
despite fashion satan status, nike still laced duncan with one of the rawest foamposite designs out. of course he only wore em for prolly one season before switching to adidas n wearing orthopedic correction sneakers to this day. this instance alone shows that there is hope. just the other day i saw tim sporting a fade, a real acceptable haircut in 2014. maybe one day duncan will join us in the present n finally start wearing pants that r too small n wildly unnecessary accessories.
or maybe he’ll just keep wearing picnic blankets for shirts.