Image via Complex Original
Did you hear about this year's Frieze art fair in New York, and the only thing you remember is that it was on Randall's Island? Are you and your friends only excited for Art Basel in Miami because you know Jay-Z and/or Pharrell will be there? The hype around art fairs' locations, celebrity attendees, and how much money is being spent has reached an astronomical level of thirst. Tags from these events on Instagram contain more people posing than art on display. We're beginning to wonder if it's more about the art scene than the art itself. Since art fairs are doing all they can to reach new levels of attention, we've decided to help them out. Here are 10 Outrageous Places We Want to See Art Fairs.
In a Club
In a Club
Haven't you always wanted to twerk next to a Rothko? An art fair held in a club would be perfect for the new money crowd, as well as the old folks who still want to seem hip. You can bet your last dollar that Diddy will attend this art fair. Why limit the refreshments to just sparkling wine? Pop bottles around the hottest contemporary art and hope to stay sober enough to make a solid purchase.
In an Alleyway
In an Alleyway
What better way to feel the "authenticity" of street art than keep it in the street? Hosting an art fair in an alley brings the ruggedness and edge to an event that can't be replicated. You're going to attract a lot of people in their Rick Owens jackets and OG Jordans, dropping thousands for a canvas that was probably just in a dumpster. Very rare, of course. If this alleyway is in an artsy area like Bushwick or Austin, it's even better.
On a Private Jet
On a Private Jet
This is how you separate the boys from the men...or the super wealthy from the moderately wealthy. Same difference. By having an art fair on a private jet, you can control the crowd, because the buyers literally can't walk away. This is a sure-fire way to sell, sell, sell. Also, the jet can be a perfect way to transport the buyers to your next art fair. Think on this one.
The Desert
The Desert
Coachella is in the desert. Your aunt's favorite spa is in the desert. An art fair in the desert would be the dopest thing since that magical decade we call the 90s. True art hunters would pitch their tents around the main exhibitions and endure the extreme heat of the day and the frigid cold of the night just to snap pics of something that may or may not be good art. Get some Georgia O'Keefes up on a cactus and keep it moving.
Along the Amazon River
Along the Amazon River
Sure, visitors would have to take a raft or skim boat to attend, but it would be totally worth it. Lord of the Flies and Castaway are perfect inspirations for how this art fair should be organized. The winner of a random show of money and influence is able to purchase the hottest works of the season, while everyone else goes home with prints or is simply left along the side of the river waiting for the next raft home.
Outer Space
Outer Space
That art fair you attended last week was on Earth? Peasants. Virgin Galactic and SpaceX are already happening in real life, so there's no reason why Art Basel: Space can't exist. Intergalactic ballin'. Get on this level.
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Underwater
Underwater
How can you make an art fair ultra exclusive? Make it underwater. Who can breathe underwater? Only the coolest and most influential art critics on land; everyone knows that. Watch in awe as gallery-goers and art buffs descend below the murky waters like they were contestants in the Triwizard Tournament during the second task. Or rather, imagine a Dubai-style underwater hotel situation where art fairgoers get to see work as sharks and fish swim by.
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Taj Mahal
Taj Mahal
The Taj Mahal is already a work of art. Art in art? Very meta. An art fair in one of India's landmarks would already draw the "I'm looking to find my roots in another culture" crowd plus a bunch of women who recently finished Eat, Pray, Love. Inevitably, everything will sell out, because of course you need to buy culture to be cultured.
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In a Cave
In a Cave
The first known art made by humans was found in a cave. Plenty of horror movies feature caves. Naturally, an art fair should be in a cave. Like normal art fairs, it's going to be like a maze seemingly designed to keep you walking in circles, making it difficult to leave.
The North Pole
The North Pole
Taking a trek up to the North Pole just to see art would make even Shackleton proud. Can you imagine how beautiful a sculpture would look against the backdrop of a glacier? Psh, no comparison. Worst case scenario, market the art fair location like the second Narnia and watch the spring breakers pile in.