Image via Complex Original
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As distasteful as off-brand candy, these 10 cards ditch the romance for some hilarious reality. Who wants corny sentiment when you can joke about the true meaning of Valentine’s Day -- hookers, bathrooms, and boredom? Whether you order one from a DIY master on Etsy or send an old-fashioned e-card, inappropriate is unforgettable.
These cards don’t say the right thing, but they just might bring a little more laughter to your love life.
Check out The 10 Most Inappropriate Valentine's Day Cards.
1
Love Machine
Not only does this e-card conjure up dirty bathrooms and dirtier hipsters, it reminds you that you wasted all of your quarters on laundry.
E-card available from Hipster Cards.
2
Pure Poetry
Two tiny red graphics can turn a sentence about a crack whore into a sonnet for your sweetheart.
Available from sweetperversion on Etsy.
3
True Love, False Hope
This card may not convince her that you’re ready to get serious, but its vintage feel never gets old.
Available from Cafe Press.
4
Heart On Your Sleeve
If you want to lure her back into your arms, try not to be such a monster this time around.
Sticker available from Norman Saunders.
5
Celebrating February
There is more than one holiday this month, and you’ll do well to remember both. Especially if your chocolate valentine is more than just candy.
E-card available from someecards.
6
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Whether talking, chatting, texting, or sexting, keep it real. Until something better comes along.
Print-and-cut card available from Big Fat Whale at the Boston Phoenix.
7
The Power Of Suggestion
With its charming design, clever shout-out to 80s music, and offensive sentiment, this card's possibilities are endless.
Available from Roll & Tumble Press on Etsy.
8
Speaking Softly
This card was deemed too inappropriate for Target's red-and-white shelves, so you'll have to come out of the bushes and make your own.
9
Keeping It Simple
Don't over think it.
E-card available from Be My Anti-Valentine. (Site also has some other stellar options).
10
Two For One
Though it may not be nice, at least it is concise.
Available from Jailbird on Etsy.