Image via Complex Original
Brazil is has been a hot mess in the lead up to the Olympics, but probably the hottest of all the messes is the Zika epidemic. Back in May, more than 100 doctors and scientists signed a letter insisting the games be postponed, to which many athletes and tourists alike responded, "Nah." Because do you know what can’t be postponed? Greatness. The world’s athletes aren’t letting microcephaly-ridden infants quell their ambition, and neither should you. With that in mind, here’s a helpful round-up of how to look your best at the games.
A Mosquito Net Cap
There are some nice options for safaris and stuff, like this L.L. Bean number specially treated with Insect Shield, but you can easily go DIY as well. In a pinch, your best bet is to shove your head into the peak of a mosquito net built for a crib, cut the structure off around your neck, and then tie the whole thing off with a cute circle scarf. The rest of your body will still be exposed to the disastrous effects of Zika, but the point is really to make a statement. (Side Note: The pastel shades make this an easy, go-to feminine, yet edgy look!)
A Kevlar Vest
I just adore this little bullet-proof number from GH Armor Systems on sale for $549.49. While it’s typically for avoiding gunshots, this makes for a great crossover item that will keep you looking protected and feeling fabulous. Try pairing it with a chiffon maxi skirt or silk culottes for a outfit that can easily transition from day to night, when mosquitoes are at their most active.
A Literal Hazmat Suit
The hazmat suit is an amazing ready-to-wear option. Jumpsuits and rompers have been all the rage lately, and as we head into the new phase of fashion known as maximalism, it only makes sense that our sportswear would take on birth-defect-deflecting practicality. Dress this option down by popping your favorite pair of Havaianas, or customize the whole thing with a fun patch or pin that says something like, “Stop bugging me!” (Get it?! Zika? Mosquitos? Hilarious!)
A Statement Necklace Drenched in DEET
Statement necklaces have yet to fade out of style, and they happen to be the perfect vehicle for diethyltoluamide—the insect-repelling ingredient colloquially known as DEET. Simply dip a big-beaded monstrosity in the yellow oil, and voila! Avoid white jewelry to disguise the fact that you are covered in toxic chemicals, and you’re ready to head to the opening ceremony. I would suggest something so absurdly large that it is labeled a “bib,” such as this godawful eyesore available from Baublebar for $38. And if you don’t have any DEET around, maybe just try bleach! If you grab the 96 oz. bottle of Clorox, it may even last you until the next Summer Olympics.
Tom Hardy's Mask from "Fury Road"
Men don’t usually have as many accessory options, so this post-apocalyptic face cage really changes the game. There’s an adorable one for sale on TrendyHalloween.com, or you could get crafty with a mouth guard and some kitchen knives. This won’t do much of anything to protect your face from mosquitoes, but it will help to stop them from flying directly into your open mouth, at least.