Happy National Sunglasses Day to everyone, but especially those who dare to wear sunglasses inside or at night. Maybe you’re hungover. Maybe you feel too much, and fear your eyes will expose your vulnerabilities to this harsh, ever-judging world. Maybe you have conjunctivitis. Either way, I salute you.
Society has come down with a decisive hand on the subject of wearing sunglasses outside of the presence of the sun. It’s an obvious extension of our reverent honoring of The Coolness Paradox. As one nocoolnamejim wrote in a Gamestop forum on November 18, 2003:
Indeed, there is an itchiness around visible effort. We have allowed for few exceptions to the rule outside of being a blind and extremely talented black man (Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder), or an iconic, elderly white person who may or may not have even had eyes to begin with (Anna Wintour, Bono). Even celebrities are met with criticism when opting for tinted eyewear, and yet, is it really a question of aspiring to coolness?
"People do it because they think it makes them look like Jack Nicholson," author Mark Mason told the BBC after writing an article titled “What’s Wrong With Sunglasses” back in 2014.
To be fair, that was two years ago—although, I’m fairly certain no one has wanted to look like Jack Nicholson since approximately 1983. Jack Nicholson is 79 years-old and resembles a retired butcher who still eats lots of meats despite his doctor’s urging otherwise. No one is walking into Sunglass Hut, picking up a pair of Ray-Bans and thinking, “Oh, these will make me look like Jack Nicholson,” except maybe Jack Nicholson on a day where he is mourning his youth and considering the impact of his mortality, I don’t know.
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