Image via Complex Original
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Ever been hitting the bong with your bros and the kush is so loud that you come up with a million dollar idea? Then, you butt chug some molly water and decide to convince everyone to Venmo you $20,000? Then, you hire a grip of developers to actualize your idea?
Well, that's exactly what happened to us last week during our weekly boys' night out get together. In that moment, when we were stoned out of our minds and rolling our rectums off, it all made complete sense. But, now that we've sobered, it makes COMPLETE FUCKING SENSE. LMAO, fam, why hasn't there been a video game created about Internet minutia and menswear and blogging? I seriously can't believe none of you dweebs out there didn't think of this first. I'm imagining all of your salty faces right now and it's giving me a Flex Boner™.
Anyhow, we just got the first test copy of Four Pins: The Video Game and wanted to preview it for you guys. The release date is set. Q4 2014 is officially on lock. We have a feeling this is going to be the next Tickle Me Elmo.
Justin Roberson already beat Four Pins: The Video Game to 100% completion. Follow him on Twitter here.
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3.FourPins_VideoGame_Career
Career Mode
Start off as a swagless Tumblr nerd and blog your way to the front row at NYFW. It won’t be easy though. You'll have to navigate the #menswear scene with deft aplomb. Choose the right brands to endorse. Make the right powerful friends and enemies. Don't eat too many carbs. Your journey begins now.
Turn on the Time Trial setting to see how fast you can sell out. It's like if Minesweeper had alphets instead of bombs, and you wanted to find them instead of avoiding them.
Can you go from Four Pins serial commenter to Four Pins contributor to Four Pins Editor-in-chief to a menswear professional anyone actually gives a shit about? Will you be become a Fucking Legend™ or fade away into obscurity? Only you can decide your fate!
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Become An #Influencer
When you post a "Woke Up Like Dih" pre-work selfie wearing a certain brand's item, does their stock availability deplete almost immediately? Are people adopting your diction and joke constructs on Twitter Dot Com? Are you verified? Are you feared by the masses at large?
The crux of Four Pins: The Video Game (and, by extension, life) is becoming a true blue #influencer. Everything you do, wear, eat and say has consequences for your personal brand. Choose wisely.
Existence is nothing more than the pursuit of amassing influence and we’ve expertly captured that in Four Pins: The Video Game. May your most fire alphet light the dark and treacherous path that leads to Mt. Free Jawnz.
5.FourPins_VideoGame_Fuccbois
Fuccboi Mode
Much like Zombies Mode on Call of Duty, Fuccboi Mode puts you in the middle of a wack, yet mandatory industry turn up function. There are an almost infinite number of fuccbois present and few allies. Schmooze with other #influencers to keep them at bay. One of the only safe zones is the open bar, but the longer you stay there, the more difficult it becomes to dip and dodge the fuccbois. However, if you can chug the right amount of grigio and achieve Perfect Drunk™, you'll get a Goth Ninja stealth bonus. Take care to not be spotted hobnobbing with plebeians. Make it through the night with your personal brand intact and unlock new Klout Perks, like a free fade from Blind Barber. When it comes to the showdown, is it really Nothing To Do A Stunt™?
6.Hypebeast Mode
Create-a-Hypebeast
There is no shortage of fire jawnz in Four Pins: The Video Game. With over one trillion customizable alphets, it’s safe to say that the only thing that will limit your Hypebeast avatar is your imagination. Level up by getting street styled, blogged about and, the holy grail, made fun of on "Fashion Bros!"
Each level new unlocks classic streetwear product drops like the 1998 Brooklyn Machine Works Bicycle from Supreme.
You can even adjust your Hypebeast's personality and skills to give them advantages over other Hypebeasts: Age, Virgin Vibes, Number Of Times They've Touched A Real Life Female Titty, Bladder Control (for when they are camping out for a drop) and much more!
7.Bro op mode
Bro-Op Play
Four Pins: The Video Game features Bro-Op Play so that the fam can digitally mob out and build together. Bro-Op supports up to six players!
Multi-player specific missions include securing brunch reservations for the whole squad, causing a city-wide Brosé shortage and taking straight la flame group selfies (aka Usies) to straight blow up the ‘Gram.
Bond to increase your Squad's Sus Status™ by copping some fire jawnz for ya mans and them just because you appreciate how much they are such a positive influence in your life.
8.Fire tweets
Fire Tweet Mini-Game
Everyone knows that the cornerstone to being a #menswear gawd is having the most popping Twitter account. It's time to grab that smartphone and Get Active™ in order to get verified. Hone your skills by sending the most Fire Tweets™ imaginable. Post pictures with relatable humor captions to level up and unlock new Cool Teen™ lingo. The more retweets and favorites your character receives, the higher their self-worth gets.
Achieve up to 10x bonus modifiers by linking together combo moves, like catching a h8rz' subtweet, sub-faving it and sending your own subtweet back at them. The social media simulation possibilities are endless!