Image via Complex Original
1.
"Get money gut, motherfuck a diet." - Waka Flocka Flame
Lies have Been pUrpoSely wHolesaleD to the masses sInce the DefiNItioN of honEsty was cELEstially inVENted. The largest is the myth that women enjoy abdominal muscles. Sorry to break it to all you #gymflow bros out there doing mathemafamatics to calculate the perfect Riboflavin intake and staying in the anaerobic zone with thermogenics 24/7, but abs make you look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And no woman is trying to let a mutant amphibian slide inside her lady cave. Women simply don't like abs. What women do like are guts: blubbery mounds of stagnant calories.
They love the security and warmth a girthy midsection brings with it. They also love rappers. So what happens when rappers themselves have guts? CHEESE EGGS HAPPEN. THAT'S WHAT.
Rappers are already swimming in trim, and always fucking my bitch and fucking your bitch and fucking your dad's bitch and fucking their bitch's (who is also still, somehow, our bitch) bitches. So, when a rapper achieves a gut it's game over. We might as well get the obituaries ready because when they die there is only one cause of death: Pussy Juice Poisoning. Let's look at the current state of affairs re: the best rapper guts doing it today.
Justin Roberson is out here eating. You can follow him on Twitter here.
2.gutlead
3.1guts
Wiz Khalifa
This is the opposite of what you want, guys. There’s a reason he wifed up Amber Rose and had a baby, because he realized he would never have a gut and, by extension, get anymore bitches. Wiz gave up. Do you want a monogamous relationship with a partner who understands your every need and weakness and makes you better? Or do you want nasty sex with millions of girls? Exactly.
4.2guts
Chief Keef
We here at Four Pins are kind of concerned for Keef because he has created a sizable mini-gut in such a short period of time. Is it the lean or poor diet choices? Is he trying to emulate Young Chop? For our bitches’ sakes, let’s hope rehab had mandatory gym time.
5.3guts
Danny Brown
We are sincerely proud of Danny Brown for quitting lean. That process is an extremely difficult journey. However, drinking lean did give him one helluva best in class skinny-fat gut.
6.4guts
Rick Ross
Rozay embraced his gut, displaying it prominently in photoshoot after photoshoot and music video after music video until we fell in love with it. If you cross your eyes and stare at this picture his stomach looks exactly like a Shao Kahn. What a powerful abdomen.
7.5guts
DJ Khaled
More like Suffering From Excess…Eating! Hahahah that’s a little thing called a "pun," you chumps. Please share this article with your Google+ Circles for others to share in the lulz. Wow, what a fine joke. We just hope Khaled doesn’t read this and crush us with his most powerful servers.
8.6guts
Young Jeezy
Jeezy used to be Fluffy The Snowman, then he lost some weight. Then he got older and put back on weight, but it was, like, a special kind of strong fat. His husk is meaty. Though Jeezy has struggled with weight—both the drug and BMI kind—his whole life like Kirstie Alley and Oprah, his current frame is like a tractor beam for sexy ladies. Each and every video vixen in his immediate radius is roughly three seconds away from becoming one of his drug mules.
9.7guts
Gucci Mane
Gucci’s bulbous belly is the stuff of legend. Take some time out of your day to send prayers up to your made up God that you were alive to witness the rise and fall (and eventual resurrection) of Big GuWop. GuWop’s midsection was such a dangerously erotic threat to women that the white man threw him in jail for no reason.
Bonus Scripture: The Evolution of Gucci Mane’s Belly
10.8guts
Waka Flocka Flame
Flocker is 6’15” (my calculations may be off, some Cheetos dust got into my keyboard and somehow changed my Google domain to Russian and I’m having to convert everything from “angular mils”), and is the Marilyn Monroe of rapper guts. His belly is rotund and smooth and naturally blends around his curves. It’s as if Da Vinci himself sculpted Waka out of molly granite. We can’t wait to go to one of his shows with Steve Aoki and be crushed to death by an errant Waka stage dive.
11.9guts
Schoolboy Q
“Out of shape belly, courtesy of 40/Spoiled only child, baby boy Jody” - Schoolboy Q, “Blind Threats”
Best believe Q is fucking every chick within a 30-mile radius.
12.10guts
PeeWee Longway
The trapper-turned-rapper and Young Thug associate embraces his portly stature not only in moniker, but also by flashing his belly whenever possible, like the above photo where he’s just chilling at his house with the oven open or in music videos. PeeWee is not only one of the next rising stars in rap, but he's also a known power alphet finesser. We’re sure he’ll grace the discerning and professional digital pages of Four Pins many more times this year, as he certainly possesses a top-notch tummy.
13.11guts
Action Bronson
This right here is 320 pounds of handsome manliness. Action Bronson’s girth is something to be admired and feared. Perfect swan dives, Triple Lindys, backflips, moonsaults and 450 splashes—you name it, this guy can perform it while diving into the pussy.
14.12guts
Fred The Godson
In nine months, Fred The Godson went from alone in the studio going ove bars with a small paunch to the picture you see before you. LOOK AT THAT. Fred may have dropped the ball something absurd in regards to his XXL Freshmen spot, but FTG is hanging out with/getting touched by/sneaking molly into these women. Meanwhile, you are reading a post about rapper guts on Four Pins. Who is the real loser here? But Fred not (LOL that’s another pun, this time on the word “fret”), all the secrets to finding delicious honey dips to press their supple thighs against you are found within this picture. Fuck PUAs. Godson has the juice.