Image via Complex Original
While they're on the field, pitch, court, or diamond, professional athletes are the epitome of focus and discipline. One slight mistake could mean the evaporation of their dreams and their paycheck. So you would think these guys would know how to pull off the relatively simple task of getting dressed, right?
Turns out that the world of sports is rife with guys totally messing up the act of looking presentable. In a world literally full of uniforms and standards, a lot of these awful fails occur when athletes try to express themselves however they can and end up going way overboard. As fans, we can only root for and/or jeer these utter style fails of our favorite players and revel in the fact that yes, we are better at some things than these otherwise Herculean specimens. From the worst off-field outfits to the most bizarre facial hair, these are The Biggest Athlete Style Fails.
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50. Do NOT tickle Shaquille O'Neal's all-Elmo-everything.
When: February 2008
In light of recent events, this just covers the entire spectrum of fail.
49. LeBron James' denim tuxedo shirt is a high-low fail.
When: June 2012
Too fancy for a hoedown, and too country for a soirée, LeBron's shirt is just all types of wrong. Sorry King James, but this is peasant-wear.
48. Stevie Johnson's doggystyle cap.
When: 2012
It's cold as shit in Buffalo, but other types of hats surely must exist besides a fitted with furry doggie ear flaps. Yeah it must be boring to live in Buffalo but that doesn't mean you gotta resort to things like this!
47. Vladimir Radmanovic's braids distract everyone from his crazy name.
When: 2005
With the exception of RiFF RAFF and James Franco in Spring Breakers, have you ever known a white dude who could pull off braids? And if you could think of a third, surely his name would not be Vladimir Radmanovic. This is probably the reason why Seattle lost their Supersonics.
46. Johnny Weir knows how to get street styled.
When: September 2011
Even for Johnny Weir, this outfit is a total fail. Just pray he doesn't try to do a triple axle in this little number.
45. Sean Avery is photographed in Terry Richardson's sex-dungeon.
When: 2012
Sean Avery made sure that everyone knew he was into fashion when he was still on the NY Rangers. Well in case you forgot, here's Avery in all his glory being captured by the famed Terry Richardson, who somehow manages to get every single photo subject out of at least half their outfit, Avery included. While it's unknown for sure if Avery has retired, who would dare to go back to the NHL after this photoshoot? He'd be skating all day with a target on his back.
44. Didier Drogba is the Euro Trash Robin to Ronaldo's Euro Trash Batman.
When: 2002-2009
Didier Drogba isn't used to second place, but he'll have to settle when it comes to the Euro Trashiest of professional football behind Cristiano Ronaldo. His style has definitely improved in the last few years, but with that hair, he'll always hold a special and despised place in our hearts when it comes to style.
43. Paul Malignaggi has got himself a style situation.
When: 2007 - Present
Along with the cast of Jersey Shore, Paul Malignaggi has set back Italian-American stereotypes and relations several years. He has a stellar boxing record, but his style needs to get knocked the fuck out.
42. Ryan Lochte's grill aka A$AP Soggy.
When: Summer 2012
America fell in love with Lochte overnight in 2012, and then we all woke up the next morning ashamed and full of regret, again. Why did we ignore the red flag of Lochte's American flag grill that he wanted to wear on the medal podium? The signs were all there!
41. Ricky Williams in a wedding dress.
When: August 1999
It didn't matter what your creed, morals, or beliefs were; this cover simply made everyone uncomfortable. But maybe we can applaud Ditka's commitment to the game?
40. John Rocker goes from bad to worse.
When: 2006
We had no idea we could hate John Rocker more than 1999, but here we are. After his despicable "Speak English" campaign and these outfits, our rage is at all-time highs.
39. Marquis Daniels' necklace of Marquis Daniels is the most noteworthy event of Marquis Daniels' career.
When: February 2010
If your nickname is The Boss, then you're allowed to get a chain of your own face. But if you're a no-name coming off the bench on a team chock full of future Hall of Famers, then you have no business getting a 3-D pendant made in the likeness of your own dome. You have to earn the level of flamboyance that Rick Ross has achieved.
38. Tiger Woods tries to show us another side precisely when we find out wayyy too much.
When: February 2010
The "raw" photographs of Tiger Woods were taken before his infidelity scandal broke, but the Vanity Fair issue hit newsstands soon after the world found out about his freaky tendencies, which only fueled the fire. This was 100% the wrong time for Tiger to go for a "Bad Boy" image.
37. MMA style clothing is as brutal as the sport.
When: 1997 - Present
Guys, have you ever thought a guy is really cool because he's wearing Tapout? Ladies, have you ever really wanted to talk to the guy at the bar who's wearing Affliction? Case closed.
36. The Lakers' short shorts are more throw-up than throwback.
When: December 2007
The year 2007 was going along just fine, and then the Lakers organization threw this at us. Did we really need to see Derek Fisher in short shorts? There's a reason why we've evolved away from this.
35. Perhaps one of Scot Pollard's most bizarre actions, and that is saying something.
When: 2006
Scot Pollard is like the poor man's Dennis Rodman, which is still saying something. The bleached mohawk and double beard ponytail make Pollard look like the villain of a weird Japanese children's cartoon, which is downright scary.
34. A.J. Burnett dyes his hair blonde for Spring Break.
When: August 2011
Bleaching a guy's hair has hardly ever gone well, and A.J. Burnett only proves the theory. Of course, looking like A.J. Burnett doesn't help.
33. Dwight Howard's cargo shorts? Cargo pants? Cargo capris?
When: Circa 2004 - 2012
It's gotta be hard to be a big man and dress well, but that's no excuse to simply give up. Even residents of Orlando knew that Dwight Howard was committing a flagrant style foul when he stepped out in the largest pair of cargo shorts ever.
32. John Daly's outfits are a walking punchline.
When: 1991 - Present
John Daly may have won several battles in his life, but he's definitely lost the sartorial war. Yes, golf is a chance for old white men to dress like Yalies on acid, but Daly manages to continuously take it too damn far. There's a very wide, argyle-patterned line between acceptably outrageous golf attire and what Daly does, and it's pretty clear which side he falls on.
31. No pot of gold at the end of Brian Bosworth's rainbow.
When: Circa 1980s
Sadly, Bosworth's entire career could be considered a fail. His combo flattop-mullet wasn't helping his cause at all, and when he incorporated a rainbow into the whole Hulk Hogan x Mr. T x Flock of Seagulls: game over.
30. Turk Wendell's necklace made of the teeth of animals he's hunted and killed.
When: 1997 - 2001
While this is kinda-sorta manly, it's also really-very gross. Wendell was a pitcher with numerous irrational superstitions, including gnawing on huge gobs of licorice and brushing his (own) teeth between innings. This, though, was definitely one of the most morbid and, admittedly, kinda cool things that this kook brought onto the field with him.
29. John Kruk is a Troglodyte.
When: 1991 - 1995
In the early '90s, scientists were baffled by the dexterity and athletic skills of a specimen perceived to be the missing link that had the potential to shift evolution from theory to law. How could this pre-historic creature socialize and adapt so well in a modern setting? Then they realized that it was John Kruk.
28. Brett Favre on draft day is the archetype for Buckwild.
When: April 1991
With his cuffed jean shorts, hick-ass haircut, and thin gold chain, Favre was about as Buckwild as they come. Yeah, he was eventually one of the greateset quarterbacks of all time, but this picture defines Favre through and through. Country. As. Fuck.
27. Cristiano Ronaldo is the physical manifestation of Euro Trash.
When: 2002 - 2009
If you thought the years 2002 - 2009 were bad for American style, then just take a look at Cristiano Ronaldo's wardrobe from that era. But we can't hate the dude fully, since whatever he's doing is clearly working for him.
26. Darryl Dawkins' horrendous pink jacket is more exciting than the 2013 dunk contest.
When: February 2013
With nothing really happening on the court during this year's dunk contest, Shaq, Charles Barkley, and the rest of the TNT crew turned their attention the crowd. And how could their eyes not be caught by Darryl Dawkins' Pepto-Bismol jacket? They killed a good amount of time between missed dunks to clown on the objectively awful jacket, and hopefully "Chocolate Thunder" won't wear his Easter suit court-side next year.
25. Pete Sampras' hair makes us sad.
When: Circa 2000 - Present
In the '90s, Sampras and his full head of Grecian locks dominated the sport. Then, even though Sampras' level of play continued to be at or near the top of the game in the eary 2000s, his hair game was on the fast decline. Young men across the country had to watch their greatest nightmare play out in the national spotlight.
24. Kimbo Slice's chest hair arrow almost makes him look not scary.
When: 2010
Almost, but not quite. Still though, who would have ever thought that Kimbo Slice would be capable of doing anything remotely silly?! Unless, of course, he's trying to be intimidating? If that's what he thinks then we have reason to be truly terrified...
23. How did Jaromír Jágr's mullet get past customs?
When: 1990-1999
Jagr was able to slash through defenders so effortlessly because no defenseman wanted this thing anywhere near him. In a sport known for its gross mullets, Jagr is king.
22. Joakim Noah's draft day outfit is almost enough to make fans of style give up.
When: 2007
Bring up any piece of this outfit and the answer is "No." The only positive of this is that Noah is clearly having fun cheesing for the camera and about to make millions, so he gets an eventual pass. Still though, this elicited so much damn head shaking.
21. Rajon Rondo's jacket is the embodiment of an existential crisis.
When: 2012
This jacket has no idea what it's trying to do, or what it wants to be.
20. Allen Iverson wearing suits that could fit three Allen Iversons.
When: 2005 - 2010
Everyone knows the NBA instituted a dress code in 2005 to combat Iverson's flagrant sartorial middle finger to David Stern, and to "improve" the league's image. Take that as you will, but it's pretty clear that AI either didn't know how a suit was supposed to fit or took style inspiration from David Byrne's comically oversized suits.
19. Adam Morrison's hair is slowly eating his head.
When: 2003 - 2008
It started at Gonzaga, and at this point Adam Morrison's hair has extended it's reach into his brain. In 2008 he chopped it off, but the mane soon grew back again. By now, he's more follicle than man.
18. At least the attention was off of LeBron's hairline.
When: February 2013
This leather-sleeved number made an appearance court-side at the 2013 slam dunk contest. The contest itself was pretty ugly, but this shirt was at near unprecedented levels. Come on, LeBron. You're better than this!
17. Steve Nash got the "Hollywood" thing all wrong in his Lakers debut.
When: October 2012
The build-up to Steve Nash's debut with the LA Lakers was awesome. Between snatching a beer from an SUV full of bros on the highway and a short video in which he impersonated Batman, the country was stoked to see Nash make it in Hollywood. Then this happened, and we started regretting the days of NBA players trying to be fashionable.
16. Melvin Costa's "I have a small penis" tattoo.
When: Since birth?
The MMA fighter's tattoo declaring the truth about his teeny weenie is the second most ridiculous tattoo on his body. He's a white suprmacist, so he also has the German Eagle symbol that was used by the nazis standing atop a swastika. In case his opponents weren't already trying to destroy him, they just found more motivation.
15. Dennis Rodman in a wedding dress.
When: 1996
It's an time-honored industry rule. Promoting your book that's a tell-all of your years as a professional athlete? Wear a wedding dress. Dennis Rodman knows what's up.
14. If Drew Gooden's suit is from the future, then we're not looking forward to it.
When: 2002
Draft day is a notorious time to view some of the worst suiting you'll ever see. When it came to Drew Gooden's name being called, we were not disappointed. We're not even sure what this is, but, like Korn, let's hope it never escapes the year 2002.
13. Anthony Davis' unibrow is out of control.
When: 2012 - Present
It's 2013. There are methods and technologies to keep your unibrow in check.
12. Most, if not all, of Chris "Birdman" Andersen is offensive.
When: October 2010 - Present
From the "FREE BIRD" neck tattoo (as if that song wasn't already ruined by dumbass frat boys who think they're funny) to the ridiculous hair, Chris Andersen is a walking, dunking reason why fathers demand their daughters wait until they can date. You won't be judged if you cross to the other side of the street when you see this guy clomping his way towards you.
11. Dwyane Wade's band-aid hurts us more than anything.
When: February - March 2009
For some reason, Dwyane Wade tried to copy Nelly's infamous band-aid gaffe. Except, in a Tebow-esque move, Wade wrote his own name on the fake wound's dressing. C'mon, Flash. Don't do anything that might associate you with Murphy Lee!
10. (Don't) Braid it like Beckham.
When: 2003
David Beckham is known as a stylish guy, and you don't catch that rep without taking a few risks here and there. That being said, his cornrows look was a gigantic risk that was almost certainly going to fail. And even the most die-hard Beckham fan can't deny that this simply did not work.
9. Rafael Nadal stays flossin'.
When: 2002 - Present
We understand that, as a Spaniard, Nadal prefers clothing with a European cut. But if that means he brings a new meaning to "digging deep" for every point, then we might start watching badminton instead of tennis. Seriously, can't Nike design some wedgie-free drawers for our dude here?
8. Tim Thomas' draft day outfit is the "Don't" for rookes from 1997 to Forever.
When: 1997
It's nearly impossible to achieve any higher level of misfit than this. But please, don't try to prove us wrong.
7. In hindsight, Mark Sanchez swagging like Joe Namath was a huge mistake.
When: September 2011
This is the very definition of counting your chickens before they hatch. Or, in Sanchez and the Jets' case, being considered good before you've accomplished anything. This style fail is still golden, but is overlooked now in favor of Sanchez's infamous butt fumble.
6. Jose Canseco's sheer shirt.
When: 2005
How are you gonna show off all the great things steroids have contributed to your life unless you're wearing a see-through shirt?
5. Andrew Bynum's inexplicable perm.
When: November 2012
When Andrew Bynum debuted this 'do, it got more attention than the game that night. Even the NBA will acknowledge a good fail when it sees one. The perm was so egregiously awful that we had to do a Twitter round-up of all the best reactions.
4. Drew Gooden's squid-beard.
When: 2008
Was Drew Gooden taking style inspiration from Captain Davy Jones in The Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest? Gooden's on this list a few times, but this is the first where he looks like an underwater tentacled creature. This is the stuff of nightmares.
3. Kobe ethers himself in an all-white everything editorial.
When: May 2010
There are certain moments when you know someone has been utterly Ethered. Whether it's at the hands of someone else or his own damn fault, here's no analysis or follow-up required; dude just needs to bow out. Kobe's reign at the top has meant mad shots were taken by many opponents, but who knew he'd be his own victim of the Black, or White, Mamba.
2. Sammy Sosa bleaches his skin.
When: November 2009
After all these years, Sammy Sosa has, against all odds, stayed relevant. We're not sure what Sammy was thinking when he bleached his skin, but now only weird freaky bitches love Sosa.
1. Tom Brady is forced to contract Bieber Fever. Loses respect of everyone else in the NFL.
When: June - October 2010
Tom Brady's last two Super Bowl attempts aren't the only thing that were swept. How was he ever able to command the respect of his teammates when they knew that she was saying to him, "But honey, it's just sooooooo cute! You look just like that nice 16 year old boy!"