Image via Complex Original
As Kanye is quick to mention in virtually all of his guest verses of late, the Kardashian-Jenner women are like, the reigning dimes of the country. Like Ye says in "I Won," it starts with Kris and apparently, she can't miss. Since Kim put the family on the map, the athletes and musicians of the zeitgeist have been like putty in her and her sisters Kourtney, Khloé, and now burgeoning half-sisters Kendall and Kylie's hands.
Kim is set to make herself officially Mrs. Yeezus this summer, while Khloé just rebounded from Lamar Odom with everyone's favorite Bronx Coke Boy. With dating histories as vast and varied as these girls have, it's about time someone came through with the definitive rank of their most relevant significant others. But since we don't really care about the actual relationships, we're judging from a style standpoint since that's what we do best here. Read on to see who ranks where.
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13. Damon Thomas
Married to: Kim, 2000-2003
Typical Style: Aging faux rockstar douche
This is a recent photo of Damon (who apparently has a specific type) but it's not far off from how he looked 10 years ago, which earns KIm a WTF-were-you-thinking award that supercedes all of her other various questionable boyfriends.
12. Bruce Jenner
Married to: Kris, 1991—2013
Typical Style: Athletic Normcore
Bruce used to be the god but now in his old age he's officially given up. Which is actually more respectable than if he tried to get on his leather pants wave with Lord Dis and Yeezy. Enjoy the Soccer Dad flourish Bruce, you earned it.
11. Nick Cannon
Dated: Kim, 2006
Typical Style: Swagless
Always has been swagless. Always will be swagless.
10. Lamar Odom
Married to: Khloé, 2009—2013
Typical Style: Modern-day NBA fashion fails
Another in a long line of NBA players reaching for the fashion stars and falling very, very short. And that was before the crackcident.
9. Ray J
Dated: Kim. First! (But not really), 2003
Typical Style: Trying to stay on trend and failing most of the time
Brandy's brother dresses exactly how you'd imagine a cornball who somehow makes a song so inherently foul as "I Hit It First" into an unfortunately undeniably catchy jam. He's not bad, but no one would ever stamp him as "stylish" either. Just meh.
8. Julian Brooks
Dated: Kendall
Typical Style: Basic Jock/Athlete Bro
This guy just fits wealthy-suburb bro to the striped smedium tank top and corny-graphic snapback. Oh, and he has his own beanie line. Which is about as much press as we're willing to give—back to obscurity you go, Mr. Brooks.
7. Reggie Bush
Dated: Kim
Typical Style: Wack athlete
Reggie Bush only made it this far because the Kardashian-Jenner clique have favored some eternally swagless dudes in their past. He's not so much a bad dresser as he is just bland in that stereotypical athlete-on-draft-day way. Whatever Nikes happen to be popping at the moment, a shirt that's halfway on-trend, maybe a fitted to make the cypher complete. Kanye shrug. There's an 80 percent chance of getting the date wrong by two years with every picture of dude.
6. Kris Humphries
Married to: Kim for 72 days in 2011
Typical Style: Bro that only listens to stunt-rap but doesn't actually know how to stunt IRL
K-Humph is the typical modern-day suburban bro who's sartorially torn between trying to mimic all the rap videos he watches and stay in his cargo shorts and basic button-ups lane. Half of the time he overcomes the struggle and manages to look decent in public. Maybe if he made it longer than 72 days Scott would've set him straight?
5. Jaden Smith
Dated: Kylie, 2013—
Typical Style: Leather, Streetgoth, Iron Man suits
Thankfully Fresh Prince 2.0 doesn't dress as weird as he tweets, plus you've officially won when you insist on rocking your freshest superhero costume from Party City and shorty's still down to be seen with you.
4. French Montana
Dated: Khloé, 2014—
Typical Style: That same shit Jesus used to wear; rare fur
This is still relatively new, but geez, how happy do these two crazy kids look together? French is one of the most original dressers in the game and if he and Khloe make it to Thanksgiving (or hey, maybe even Christmas?) maybe he'll teach the fam plus Scott how to get onto his rare pelts wave. Between him and Kanye, the Kardashian HQ is becoming one big anti-PETA syndicate.
3. Harry Styles
Dated: Kendall, 2013—2014
Typical Style: Hipster
So what if his pants were probably tighter than Kendall's on any given date during the few months they went out? You really can't hate on the aptly named Harry Styles; from a steez standpoint he's probably the most respectable boy band/teeny-bopper pop star out.
2. Lord Scott Disick
Dated: Kourtney, on/off since 2007
Typical Style: RIch prep lord shit
Well if Scott's number two then you already know who's at uno. It's a tight race, but while all of you nice, polite commenters think we at Complex are contractually obliged to stay on Yeezus' jock, let us point one key factor out that effectively reduces Lord Disick to second best: he was a willing influencee when Ye first joined the family fold.
There was a brief but notable period where dude blatantly switched his style up to gold pieces, Jordans and leather pants. He adopted the fresh code flawlessly, but regardless that's an automatic sonning, brother-in-law bonding notwithstanding.
1. Kanye West
[About to be] Married to: Kim, dating since 2012
Typical Style: Next shit, currently on a no-labels wave
We can go on yet again about how Kanye's basically the uncontestable fashion god of rap, but from a Kardashian family perspective his influence is equally far-reaching. He briefly made Scott into a streetwear addict. Completely reupholstered Kim's closet. Khloé's working out in rare tour merch meanwhile the likes of Kendall and Kylie are making sneakerheads explode over the fact that they've probably been jogging in the Yeezy 5s or whatever as a product test for Uncle Yeezus. The craziest part: we're just witnessing the beginning of this celebrity brand merger flourish.