The Greatest Dad Fashion Moves of All Time

Fashion moves in cycles. What was cool becomes uncool. The uncool lays dormant on the fashion scrap heap until it becomes vintage, which makes it cool again. Sometimes this means that the style of our fathers, the looks we mocked relentlessly as children, sometimes come back in style. Some of us even come to the realization that the parents we once thought were painfully uncool actually dressed better than we did through our teen years. If you ever wore JNCO jeans or a TapOut shirt, this is almost certainly true. Sometimes, we learn that dad fashion is actually, in some ways, superior to our own.

There are also certain dad fashion moves that only a dad can pull off. Just as fathers possess wisdom that comes with experience, and the phenomenon of "old man strength" is very real, there are items of clothing that only a dad execute to perfection. Today, we celebrate the clothing of our fathers, those impressive style choices that dads make work better than anyone else. These are The Greatest Dad Fashion Moves of All Time.

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In recent years, Hawaiian shirts have been rehabilitated. Menswear blogs have declared that we are due for a Renaissance de party shirt. Hawaiian shirts have been going in and out of style for years, and the cycle is certain to repeat itself again. But, no matter how society views these festive shirts, you can rest assured that wherever you find grills, beer cozies, or beach chairs across the country, there will be dads wearing these shirts wide open. Their shirts wave like a flag to all who pass by, letting the world know that as far as they're concerned, it's time to party.

Want to add a touch of formality to any occasion, but lack the necessary attire? No worries. Simply tuck in your shirt, and people will know that you're all business. Dads understand this better than anyone, and that is why they are willing to tuck in their shirt no matter what that shirt may be. Dads understand that a tucked in t-shirt will get you through the door at the hardware store or the country club. Business, casual, formal, chillaxed: a tucked in t-shirt is all things to all people.

Tuck in that shirt, and your world instantly expands.

For many dads, the question "Who are you wearing?" is more likely to be answered with "The Pittsburgh Steelers" than "Dolce & Gabbana." The first and last thing may fathers want you to know about them is what sports team they root for. Everything else, especially how they look to non-sports fans, is irrelevant.

Dads understand that advertising their sports loyalties at every turn means that they will open themselves up to everything from good-natured ribbing to heated red-faced barroom arguments. Sure, a slick outfit will earn you a glance here and there. But, decking yourself out in sportswear earns you yells of "How 'bout them Steelers?!" every time you leave the house.

Before Williamsburg circa 2008 made 19th century chic the look of the moment and Mumford and Sons took Civil War era coal miner fashion to the masses, your dad was wearing a cabbie hat. These hats aren't just for newsboys and sheep farmers and your dad knows it. While fedoras have been sullied by the men's right movement and there will always be something casual about that flat brim, the cabbie hat strikes the perfect balance of business and casual.

Unless you get cast in the chorus line of a Newsies revival, this probably isn't your go-to hat in your twenties. But it is comforting to know that when you're ready for it, the warm woolen embrace of the cabbie hat will be there waiting for you.

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Denim on denim on denim on denim: it's a beautiful thing. Usually, dads seem to be completely unable to wear matching clothing. The very idea of complimentary colors appears to be against everything they believe in. And yet, when it comes to wearing all denim, they come through with flying colors.

Wearing all denim makes sense. No one can tell you that your outfit doesn't go together. No one can tell you that you aren't color coordinated. And most importantly, no one can tell you that you aren't a total badass. As Americans, it is in our DNA to reject many things that Canada has given us, like Universal Healthcare and Justin Bieber. But, damn it if their tuxedo hasn't become one of the most American things of all time.

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​Dads understand that the greatest thing one's clothes can do is make someone else laugh. If you become a father, it is your sartorial responsibility to entertain first and impress second.

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Regardless of the reason, one thing is clear. The once widespread trend of pulling your socks up as high as they will go is dying out. The fatherly tradition of socks and shorts is steadily becoming a grandfatherly tradition. It may only be a matter of time before the grand legacy of high socks with shorts only exists in soccer and period pieces. Let us celebrate this dying tradition.

Old men of America, may your socks stay long and your shorts stay approximately thigh length. We see you. We won't follow suit. But, we see you.

Formally known as the Cosby Sweater, this sweater should not suffer the same fate as the disgraced comedian who gave it its name. Cliff Huxtable was not the first father to wear gloriously tacky sweaters nor was he the last. Though Bill Cosby's legacy is rightfully disgraced, we shouldn't leave behind the sweaters that bore his name. Let these dad sweaters continue to be a beacon that guides us through the winter months. Let the next generation of poppas discover the joy of embarrassing their children just with just the clothes on their back.

Long live the Cosby Sweater. Let's just think of a new name.

If you had asked teenagers in the nineties which recently deceased fashion trend would most likely be resurrected, they probably wouldn't have pointed to the fanny pack. For a long time, fanny packs were emblematic of all of the worst aspects of American tourism. They were for the lazy and the tasteless. They were the sure sign of a gullible rube. The last few have proven that all things come back into fashion sooner or later. The fanny pack has become a hip accessory as a new generation has discovered their utility.

It turns out that an extra pocket never goes out of style.

Sure, young people wear suspenders sometimes. Maybe you work them into that dope wedding suit. Perhaps you wear them to a high-end cocktail hour. But, incorporating suspenders into your day to day life is a total dad move. As with pulled up socks, the hey day of suspenders is definitely in its twilight. Rarely do you see anyone under the age of 60 wearing suspenders that doesn't play banjo in a string band. And that is a shame.

There was a time when suspenders were the ideal dad wear. When dads were feeling contemplative, they tucked their thumbs behind their suspenders and had a think. When they were feeling ready for anything, they snapped their suspenders in anticipation. When they took their suspenders off, you knew it was about time to throw down. Suspenders are a dynamic clothing accessory, and if they fall out of use outside of novelty, that will be a shame.

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Women's fashion has embraced the bandana far more than menswear, and mankind is worse off for it. Men, we need to get our act together. Until the day comes when men once again claim the bandana for their own, jogging dads, motorcycle dads, and ex-hippie dads will have to keep the bandana dream alive.

There's a certain type of leather jacket that is synonymous with American cool. You know the one. James Dean wore it. Marlon Brando wore it. The Ramones wore it. This is not that leather jacket.

This leather jacket isn't black, it's brown. It isn't a slim fit, it's baggier, with bands around the wrist and waist. This jacket is a little faded, but not in a cool vintage way. This jacket isn't for rebellious youth riding their first motorcycles into the suicidal sunset. This jacket is for the dad watching his daughters' soccer game on a brisk fall day.

When a man ceases being dangerous and starts being safe, he is required by law to trade in his black biker jacket for a brown bomber jacket like the one above. That's just the way of the world.

Everyone wears sweatpants. Around the house on the weekends, on a brisk day at the gym, sitting on your back porch during those chilly fall months: these are all accepted sweatpant wearing conditions. For decades, dads have conspired to push the socially acceptable limits of comfort clothing. If dads had their way, you would be able to wear sweatpants to weddings, and god willing some day that dream will come true. Given the rise of dress pant sweat pants, it seems that this once distant dream will someday become a reality.

Dad jeans are fashion Kryptonite. Not only will they never be in style, they are anti-style. Even strict adherents to the ethos of normcore would never dare wear a true dad jean in public. Finding the courage to wear dad jeans is a rite of passage. On his eighteenth birthday, a man can die for his country. On his twenty-first birthday a man can saddle up to the bar for a drink. And at some point between his twenty-first birthday and when his first child enters high-school, dads let the world know that they no longer give a shit about fashion.

​What are dad jeans? It's hard to say, much like pornography and art, you know it when you see it. They are a lighter color than your average jean, but not so light as to be fashionable. They are baggier than you average jean, but not baggy enough to make anyone think you're a bad boy. They sit squarely at the bland intersection of the denim world. They are the absolute middle of the road, and only the least fashionable among us dares to walk that line.

​The dad jean is anti-fashion, so cool it's uncool. Fashionistas have spent so much energy in an attempt to make their look feel effortless, to get across the fact that they truly don't care what anyone else thinks. Most of the time, we know this is a lie. Dad jeans are the one fashion accessory that proves the world that you truly don't give a damn.

All of you out there man enough dad jeans, we salute you.