The Best Celebrity Tramp Stamps of All Time

Celebrities are just like us. They have the same desires and temptations as anyone else, just on a larger scale. And sometimes they get terrible tattoos. Though celebs have legions of hangers on invested in advising them on their next move, they still often do regrettable things. Sometimes they get into bad relationships, sometimes they commit crimes, and sometimes ... they get tramp stamps.

You may have thought that the tramp stamp was something reserved for members of high school homecoming court or the b-team at the local strip club, but it turns out that people from all walks of life sometimes succumb to the late-night temptation to put something completely embarrassing on their body forever. Today, we salute the rich and famous out there who prove that no amount of money can prevent your from making a terrible, permanent mistake. Here are The Best Celebrity Tramp Stamps of All Time.

RELATED: The Biggest Celebrity Fails of 2016

What Is It: Flowers that look they were drawn by your stoner friend in middle school.

She probably could have done a better job if she just drew that shit on herself.

What Is It: A sun and stars.

Anna Kournikova not only overcame being a mediocre tennis player to become famous, she also overcame this mediocre tattoo. She proved that in this world, a hot person can become famous regardless of their talent and taste.

What Is It: "Pauly" in Gothic, roughly 80 pt. font.

When your tramp stamp isn't far and away your shittiest tattoo, you have a real problem. We've got the tribal backpiece, the dragon/barbed wire bicep tatt, and the Italian flag flesh wound all competing for douche supremacy on the man's back. The eye is led around Pauly's back, and the viewer is forced to evaluate each piece's douchiness as well as the entire douchy gestalt. It's hard to say whether this is a collection of shitty tattoos or a permanent post-modern art installation. But, either way, it is clear that these are some of the worst tattoos ever placed on a man.

What Is It: “Brooklyn” in Gothic script.

No, Beckham didn’t get this piece to commemorate a night spent hopping between Williamsburg loft parties and warehouse shows with Posh Spice. He didn’t look out over the Brooklyn skyline after riding his fixie across the bridge and think to himself, “Fuck, I love this city,” before snagging himself some Grimaldi’s on the way to the tattoo parlor. Apparently, he got the tattoo in honor of his son who is named Brooklyn.

Father's Day tip: buy your Dad a tattoo of your name right above his ass crack.

What is it: A bow.

The thong / tramp stamp combo is timeless. It is as much a staple of modern fashion as the little black dress or the white pocket tee. For those who might call it trashy, we say to them, "Hey, they could just as easily not worn any underwear at all."

What Is It: An ivy covered cross with the words “Daddy” in script written above it.

A tattoo like that could launch a thousand therapy sessions.

What Is It: A fairy.

It's almost too far up to qualify as a true tramp stamp, but she is likely embarrassed enough of it that it should definitely count.

What Is It: A tribal design?

The man most famous for hitting it first also might have the most enigmatic celebrity tramp stamp in the game. I think if you accomplish those two things you can lay on your death bed surrounded by loved ones and think, "Yes, I lived a full life."

What Is It: Definitely a plant of some kind, right?

We're going to need our own Closer to figure out what the Hell this tattoo is!*

*Okay, writing Kyra Sedgwick jokes is hard, okay? What, you think we have Phenomenon or Second Hand Lions jokes in our back pocket? Point being, that tattoo is weird, and we don't really know what it is. Give us a break.

What Is It: Names of kids plus ... something else.

We have confirmation that those are the names of her kids, but what else is going on here? At first we though it was a bird's face. Now we're coming around to the idea that it is the top half of an "R." Maybe the tattoo is a Rorschach Test of sorts. Perhaps it is meant to be whatever you believe it to be, much like we can chose to remember Julia as Erin Brockovich, Vivian Ward, or Maggie Carpenter depending on our mood.

What Is It: "Redemption" in script, bordered by wings, as though the word is an angel.

Talk about a missionary position.

That's one way to spread the Gospel, if you know what I mean.

Looks like you've finally found the one true path.

Okay, there is no joke to make here that isn't hacky, so we're just going to move on.

What Is It: A dinosaur, maybe?

That is some occult-ass H.P. Lovecraft shit right there. This is basically definitive proof that Kate is either part of the Illuminati or a witch.

What Is it: A huge fucking rose.

Along with "The Boy Is Mine" and Moesha, this Vibe cover, and the tattoo prominently displayed on said cover, rank high among Brandy's professional accomplishments.

What Is It: An American flag melded with a checkered flag with angel wings surrounded by stars.

It doesn’t get any better than this. You couldn’t get more American if you had a bald eagle in an Uncle Sam hat painted on the hood of a Mustang with a topless girl drinking a beer in the driver’s seat. This is the kind of tattoo your high school classmate with the meth habit gets after she gets her bonus from Fashion Bug.

In short, this tattoo is a thing of beauty.

What Is It: A tiger.

Sometimes, a tramp stamp can work. Bow down.