The 25 Most Ratchet Automotive News Stories

It is way too easy to get a driver's license. Stupid people have them, drug addicts have them, and the criminally impulsive have them. It's a real problem, but it does, at least, give us plenty to write about. We've heard about some really crazy stuff going down in and around peoples rides (largely from Florida for some reason) and went back to find The 25 Most Ratchet Automotive News Stories.

RELATED: The 25 Craziest Russian Dash Cam GIFs

Follow @ComplexRides

What's more important: A Lexus or a human life?

What an unlikely way to have your car totaled.

Some people treat the voice coming out of the GPS like commands from God.

After he accidentally chipped the window he assumed that he would go to prison (obviously a few cards short of a deck... or even a hand), and decided to have some fun with it by doing as much damage as he could.

Perhaps he liked prison's free rent, food, and gym membership too much.

All we have to say is: if you don't know what "goatse" is, don't search for it. We mean it.

Your mom told you not to pick up hitch-hikers because they might be armed criminals. This guy picked up a guy on the road after he proved himself to be an armed criminal.

If you're going to text about how dangerous texting and driving is, don't do it while driving.

If your plan to get a nice big football scholarship involves broken legs and life-threatening injuries, you're doing it wrong.

If Obi Wan Kenobi had survived to be a deranged drunk, this is what he would look like.

He wasn't old enough to drive legally, but legality clearly just isn't a concern for this kid.

Policework is getting easier and easier.

Amazing, the dog survived and simply trotted off, appearing to be OK.

There's no way to plead innocent on this one.

Whatever floats your boat, unless it's this.

The kids aren't all right. Seriously though, there are some parents out there who need to keep a closer eye on their little demon.

In South Africa, endangering the lives of a literal pile of children leads to nothing more than a $160 fine.

We love that the owner knew how to get his car to trap this would be thief, and that he stood there taking pictures while holding a sledgehammer.

This is not how to handle bad news. Bonus: the guy's name is Davy Jones.

Umm... we're not sure what happened to all of this guy's clothing, or why he thought that this was the best way to go about getting more, but that's what happened.

EMERGENCY CRASH CHECKLIST:

This is ridiculous. A ferret would have at least backed into a corner first.

And you thought it was bad when Romney strapped a dog to the roof of his car.

Crazy Guy Takes PCP, Gets Naked, Attempts Grand Theft Auto, Poops in Police Car, and Eats Own Finger

This is why PCP is a really, really bad idea.

This is the response to a small territory dispute over a couple of uninhabited islands. Audi, not surprisingly, was not too happy about this.