Image via Complex Original
As summer comes to a close and crisp leaves begin to appear on the sidewalks, its time to say goodbye to an old friend, your lawn mower. Sure, you've spent some amazing weeks with her. Maybe you even developed a sort of relationship, a sweet, summer fling.
Remember the time you stayed out in the sun for hours with her, getting sweaty and sunburnt as the two of you ploughed through the tall, green grass together? Or the time when you made a couple of extra bucks by mowing for the neighbors? She stuck by you the whole time. Through the thick and thin. But now it's time to put her back where she belongs for a large majority of the months: storage.
In honor of your old, faithful lawn mower, perhaps one of the most underrated rides of all time, we give you the best of the best weirdest of the weird with The Most Ridiculous Custom Lawn Mowers.
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The Tank Mower
You can declare war on weeds, on that overgrown patch of grass where the cat always poops, and best of all, the nasty rodents that have overrun your yard. Make sure there are some potent poison bombs loaded in this sucker.
The MowerCross
You're not a real action sports athlete until you aerate your yard one of these puppies. Just, whatever you do, make sure your pets are locked away in your house. That could get ugly.
The Military Mower
Yes, this was seriously a riding lawnmower at one point or another. Until it was turned into the most badass toy since the amazing baby-toting apache helicopter Halloween costume. We have a feeling this kid will learn road rage at a verrrrry early age.
The Chevrolet S10 Mower
This looks as much like a small Chevy truck as Megan Fox looks like the proper person to play April in the new Ninja Turtles. And just so we're clear that means not at all.
14. The Jet Mower
Why do men always build the most phallic-looking creations, when they're trying to do the most hypermasculine things? And why do hicks build some of the most inventive rides we've ever seen? And why do we want to ride this so badly? We imagine there's a YouTube video on it somewhere waiting for Tosh's commentary.
The BBQ Mower
Two of our favorite smells are fresh-cut grass and and the smell of roasting meat on a grill. The fact that this combines two of the manliest things you can do while emitting both of those smells, all while looking like something that Binford would have built for Tim Taylor makes this one of the most Godly creations we've ever seen.
The Vintage Mower
Men reaching their mid-life-crisis stage in their lives usually go for vintage cars. Now they can go for vintage-car-looking lawn mowers too. This thing is incredible.
The Bubble Mower
Had the Jetsons become real people and built lawnmowers, it'd probably end up looking like this. Or it'd just be a little ray gun that you point at your lawn press one button, and it vaporizes the grass to the exact height you set it to.
The Yamaha Mower
Using an XS650 Engine for your lawn mower = Obliterating your lawn, intimidating your neighbors, burning your leg, and being every hick's hero all at the same time.
The Amish Mower
You could tune in for the next episode of Banshee or you could buy your very own Amish horse-mower. We just have one question: Why is he not riding the horse?
The Bicycle Mower
Had Lance Armstrong just been training like this all along, maybe he wouldn't have had to take 'roids. Then again, maybe he would have taken more, this looks ridiculously difficult.
The Tandem Mower
All this time, we thought we had to go it alone, when the obvious solution was right there all along. Perfect for the ultimately lazy and significantly bored.
The Rabbit Mower
This eco-friendly hipster lawn-mower can also be a cute, cuddly, but who said that the rabbit was speedy? You might want to attach some cup holders to that thing, 'cause this could take a while.
The F1 Mower
Some people just want to go fast. All the time. Even when cutting grass.
The Willy Wonka Mower
This looks like something you'd drive right after you finished taking the tour of the golden geese, seeing where everlasting gobstoppers were made, and watching oompa loompas do whatever oompa loompas do.
The Motorcycle Mower
Have you ever seen a better definition of the term "hog?" There's even a second seat, just in case your babe (pun intended) wants to hop on back and take a ride with you.
The Racing Mower
This is its own entire breed of riding lawnmowers. The amount of power that people are able to get out of (or put into) mowers is incredible, and an entire sport has been born from the custom machines.
The Bat Mower
The Bat Mower: conquerer of summer grass, defender of American suburbia.