Image via Complex Original
Intro
I grew up watching boxing with my dad who idolized Ali, Ray Robinson, Jack Johnson, and Joe Louis. Those guys were bigger than sport. Icons for what they did in—and out—of the ring. I also covered boxing earlier in my journalism career and I've seen more live fights than I can remember. I was in the building when the Executioner knocked out Tito Trinidad in front of tens of thousands of his Puerto Rican fans.
But that was then and this is now. Sorry I'm not sorry but, the truth is, mixed martial arts is better than boxing. Here's why.
By Orlando Lima @limachips who will be live-tweeting UFC 135 from @complex_sports starting at 9pm on Saturday (9/24)
Gloves
1. The Gloves Are Smaller
MMA gloves weigh 4-6 ounces while boxing gloves usually weigh 8. They were designed to free up the fingers for grappling with only enough padding to protect against breaking bones in the hand.
It's closer to bare-knuckle fighting which means more versatile attacks, less body coverage and faster KOs. Though it hasn't been proven, some say it's healthier for a fighter to be knocked out quick with a thinner glove than to absorb prolonged punishment from a thicker one.
Legs
2. The Entire Body Is in Play
This is like that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs doles out dollar bills and says, "One for you. One for me. Two for you. One, two for me." More is more.
Boxing is punching and defense. MMA is punching, kicking, kneeing, elbowing, takedowns, submissions, and defending against all of that. Plus an MMA fighter can attack almost any part of the body from any angle. Boxers are limited to front of the body, belt to head.
More weapons. More firepower. More firepower. More bong bong.
Big Fights
3. Mega-Fights Happen
Last weekend I got wasted with a Cape Cod beat cop who's fought more this month than Wladimir Klitschko has in this millennium. Oddly, Cape Cod cops dig mimosas. Go figure.
Back in the day, champion boxers defended their belts two times per year against top contenders. Now they're like super models. They don't get out of bed for anything less than $10 million. Even those fights are hand-picked so the matches are rarely competitive.
Barring injury, even big-name MMA fighters are in the cage at least twice per year. More importantly, the fights the fans want to see go down on the monthly. With boxing, you have to suffer through five years of contract negotiations before top fighters square off. By the time it happens, no one cares. The boxers are so old they can't eat solid foods.
Mayweather vs Pacquiao. When's that happening? #irestmycase
Ring girls
4. The Ring Girls Are Hotter
I can't name one fine ring girl in boxing, but these MMA honeys like Arianny Celeste, Kelli Hutcherson and Chandella Powell... they be callin' me. We talk about stuff. It's cool. Don't worry about our discussions. Forget I even mentioned it.
And in real news, peep Cage Potato's photo gallery of MMA Ring Girl/Model Tana Ashlee
Seriously, a guy's gotta look at something feminine and appealing between rounds. It offsets the brutality. We don't need ring girls to be embarrassing themselves in thongs and outlandish 5" clear heels. We're cool with the active-wear bikinis and the sneakers. In fact, scientific studies have proven 9-10 men prefer sporty to slutty. It's respectable and hot at the same time. Good job, MMA. Boxing dropped the ball in the bikini shop. You picked it up and scored.
Dana White
5. Dana, Dana White Y'all!
Growing up, the most well-known promoter was Don King. He mesmerized people with silly talk. Then, while no one was paying attention to the contracts, he was taking all the boxers' money. The name Mike Tyson ring a bell? King was also a Republican who beat the IRS in court on charges of tax evasion. He was the greatest contradictory sideshow on earth.
UFC President Dana White is that guy now. He's charismatic like King but they're nothing alike. White is a regular dude with New England roots who stresses over the Red Sox and posts twitpics of his Pinkberry fixations. His interviews are entertaining because he's a straight talker and when it's the fighters' time to shine he fades into the shadows like Rain in Ninja Assassin. Most important, he gets guys to sign the contract. He makes the best fights happen—and fast. You can't ask for more than that.