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Cops these days tend to be bit high strung. Even though a few drive some pretty amazing cars, officers are underpaid, understaffed and overworked. Consequently, traffic stops have become frequent venues for dramatic tazings and billy club beat downs. In the name of keeping you out of the slammer, we offer 10 Things NOT To Do if You Get Pulled Over. Remember to keep it short, don't say too much, and try to avoid dancing drunk and naked.
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Fight The Cop
Fighting a cop is the the best way to get yourself shot. Remember, even a few days in the slammer is better than getting popped. Along with this goes "make any sudden movements." Reaching for anything other than your license and registration will make them think you're a threat.
Become A Nervous Nelly
If you have something to hide, just keep your answers concise and to the point. A "yes" or "no" will usually do. The minute you start to hesitate, they will drag your ass out of the car for a full search.
Rant And Rave
Remember, the cop isn't stopping you to hear a dissertation on your shitty life. Keep the comments short and sweet, because it's only going to make them more angry when you try to explain that you're late for your fantasy football draft.
Get Out Of The Car
Unless you hear the words, "PLEASE STEP OUT OF YOUR VEHICLE," do not, under any circumstances, get out of your vehicle. Cops go nuts when this happens and will often end up throwing a few thousand volts of electricity your way.
Underestimate A Female Cop
Don't mess with female cops. Some of them might seem harmless (and even slightly attractive), but they are trained to beat the shit out of you.
Go Apeshit
It's never good to let the officer know that you are on the verge of a total psychological meltdown. In fact, it's a nice way to get yourself thrown in jail for the night. So, stay calm and collected and you will soon be on your merry way.
Be Naked
Nude driving (unless you are a really hot babe) is just bad form. Put some clothes on before you get behind the wheel. Good luck trying to convince the man or woman you aren't intoxicated when you're driving with it all hanging out.
Admit That You Are Batman
This was all over the news. A dude dressed in an extremely convincing Batman costume was pulled over in his Lamborghini Gallardo. When asked what his real name was he answered with the very unsatisfying, "Lenny" ...
Run Away
Keep in mind: Police occasionally have big, vicious dogs that are trained to rip your limbs off. And if they don't have those, they are put through physical training for situations like this, and they then will likely use those batons on you. Don't be the idiot that takes off running. You won't like the end result.
Do a Drunk Dance
Sobriety tests are pretty bogus. Who can really recite the alphabet backwards? Moreover, wobbling toe to toe is tough to do sober. But, if you do find yourself walking the line, don't dance for the cop. They usually don't take kindly to you gettin' jiggy wit it.