Image via Complex Original
The NBA season is tortuously long. The 82-game schedule runs from October to June, and games are 48 minutes. While that leaves plenty of opportunity for awesome moments, there's a lot of down time during games, which can lead to unfocused/shitty play. Like when it's the middle of the 3rd quarter at a Bobcats game in March and the Magic are in town, what's the point of even trying to play real NBA basketball? Yet even when the season is on the line, players manage to royally screw up (1995 Patrick Ewing is still sitting in the shower at MSG, weeping softly). That being said, check out The Worst NBA Fails in Recent History in GIFs to remind yourself that even though these guys are millionaire professional athletes, they suck at their job sometimes too.
STAT Needs to Retire
Player(s): Amar'e Stoudemire
Date: 11/19/2013
Game: Knicks @ Pistons
Just a reminder: Amar'e Stoudemire is due to make $21 million this season.
The Very Rare Double Flop
Player(s): J.R. Smith and Raja Bell
Date: 2/4/2011
Game: Jazz @ Nuggets
A perfect 10 in the Synchronized Flopping category.
Kobe Bryant Has No Fear
Player(s): Matt Barnes
Date: 3/7/2010
Game: Lakers @ Magic
When I tell my grandchildren about Kobe Bryant and his legacy, this will be the only highlight I show them.
I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!
Player(s): Paul Pierce
Date: 11/25/2012
Game: Celtics @ Magic
Someone get Paul Pierce a LifeAlert system.
I Got It!
Player(s): Brandon Bass, Paul Pierce and Mickael Pietrus
Date: 4/29/2012
Game: Celtics @ Hawks
It might be helpful to take a page out of the baseball outfielder's manual and just call the ball next time.
Is Everyone Ready?
Player(s): The entire Chicago Bulls team
Date: 12/28/2012
Game: Bulls @ Knicks
The Bulls forgot to have someone deliver the inbound pass. Basketball 101, guys.
Don't Try to Son Chris Paul
Player(s): Pau Gasol & Chris Paul
Date: 1/25/2012
Game: Clippers @ Lakers
"You soft." - Chris Paul to Pau Gasol.
The Miss of a Lifetime
Player(s): Patrick Ewing
Date: 5/21/1995
Game: Pacers @ Knicks
And with that miss, Patrick Ewing and the Knicks were eliminated from the 1995 Playoffs in what was their best title opportunity during the Ewing Era (no Michael Jordan that year!). Womp, womp. If only Ewing had the knees to dunk that...
Keep it Simple, Stupid
Player(s): Josh Smith
Date: 5/1/2012
Game: Celtics @ Hawks
Other than bricking a 30-foot three, this is the most Josh Smith thing ever.
Big Baby Elevating
Player(s): Glen Davis
Date: 2/11/2010
Game: Heat @ Celtics
Just to show you that Glen Davis can actually dunk, here's a video of him destroying Darko Milicic.
James Harden Can't Be Bothered
Player(s): James Harden
Date: 11/7/2013
Game: Lakers @ Rockets
Playing defense is a big problem with the Rockets, and one that's exacerbated by James Harden's lack of shits given on that end of the floor. He sort of gets a pass because he's carrying the burden of the Rockets' fast-paced, screen-heavy offense, but this right here? This? An embarrassment. Steve Blake got by you, bro?
Malice at the Palace
Player(s): Ron Artest
Date: 11/19/2004
Game: Pacers @ Pistons
Easily the biggest black eye for the league, and a night that'll live in American sports infamy. Nine players were suspended for a total of 146 games, including our main man Ron Artest here, who ultimately missed 86 games.
Yo Bosh, Get Out of the Way!
Player(s): LeBron James
Date: 3/3/2011
Game: Magic @ Heat
Shortly after this play, the Heat blew a 24-point lead by allowing the Magic to go on a 40-9 run to close out the game. Foreshadowing much?
Remember When Birdman Had Hair?
Player(s): Chris Andersen
Date: 2/19/2005
Game: 2005 Slam Dunk Contest
It's safe to say that Birdman's dunks (or lack thereof) are much worse than the hair he was rocking back in 2005. Thankfully for all of basketball, Chris Andersen hasn't been invited back to participate in the Slam Dunk Contest since then.
The Flop Heard Around the World
Player(s): Chris Bosh
Date: 2/24/2011
Game: Heat @ Bulls
Was that flop worse than the one he commited in the 2013 Finals?
Smells Like Team Spirit
Player(s): Kevin Love
Date: 10/29/2010
Game: Bucks @ Timberwolves
No effort whatsoever from either Kevin Love or Wesley Johnson there.
Bruce Bowen or Bruce Lee?
Player(s): Bruce Bowen
Date: 3/1/2002
Game: Spurs @ Timberwolves
I'm sure the $63 million contract extension that Wally Szczerbiak signed after that season made those bruises go away.
Too White For His Own Good
Player(s): Mike Miller
Date: 6/21/2012
Game: Thunder @ Heat
Stuart Scott always keeps it 100.
On His Hands and Knees
Player(s): Paul Pierce
Date: 11/28/2012
Game: Nets @ Celtics
Joe Johnson can't be making cats CRAWL out here.
This is Kendrick Perkins
Player(s): Kendrick Perkins
Date: 1/11/2013
Game: Thunder @ Lakers
Thunder fans: "CAN WE AMNESTY HIM NOW? PLEASE?!"
Who Else But JaVale McGee?
Player(s): JaVale McGee
Date: 12/7/2012
Game: Nuggets @ Pacers
Hey, at least he spotted Kenneth Faried's run. Good court vision, JaVale!
Always Secure the Rebound FIRST
Player(s): Omer Asik
Date: 11/27/2012
Game: Raptors @ Rockets
So who gets credit for the basket?
Kyrie Irving is a Destructive Force
Player(s): Brandon Knight
Date: 2/5/2013
Game: 2013 Rising Stars Challenge
Pour one out for Brandon Knight, y'all.
O'Neal For the Win
Player(s): Jermaine O'Neal
Date: 4/9/2013
Game: Suns @ Rockets
Yes, you can believe your eyes. After James Harden's attempted game-winning three bricked, Jermaine O'Neal was called for goaltending, handing the points and the W over to the Rockets.
JaVale the King
Player(s): JaVale McGee
Date: 2/6/2012
Game: Raptors @ Wizards
JaVale McGee is the modern day king of the basketball blooper. Just look at John Wall's reaction.