Image via Complex Original
1.
J.R. Smith, staring down the barrel of being a 30-year-old swing man a year from today, will remain eclectic far beyond his currently youthful and overly exuberant state. He's J.R. Smith, so you know he's going to be taking shots forever. His erratic behavior on and off the court will continue, because a shooter like J.R. chucks his way into his lows and swishes back into his highs.
In the public eye, he's going up and down and up and down and further down and way up again—while in his world, he claims to be a centered man. J.R. sets his own standards for stability and calm. Given that the New York Knicks have been a chaotic mess for years now, his team and this city will continue to bring out J.R.'s dynamism. On his 29th birthday, see how his eventful life has unfolded with the help of 29 Things You Probably Don't Know About J.R. Smith.
2.The Knicks paid his brother $2 million for two minutes of NBA play.
With Phil Jackson's heavy-handed approach coming together, Knicks fans will hopefully see less contracts like this. It was the worst kept secret of last season's training camp: Chris Smith made the opening day roster because CAA steered his brother J.R. to the Knicks, and the younger Smith was part of the family package. Cute story, except Chris Smith sucks. Outside of those two NBA minutes, he played a forgettable chunk of games in the D-League before being released. Worst $2 million Dolan ever spent.
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3.He played five different positions in high school football.
J.R.’s high school football coached once said that J.R. was an “NFL-type player.” For Lakewood High School, he played wide receiver, linebacker, cornerback, safety, and quarterback. Wherever they could put J.R. in a position to exert as much control over the game as possible, they would.
4.After his junior year, Clemson offered him a football scholarship.
The offer was made solely on J.R.'s game tape. Clemson didn't even bother checking him out in any other capacity. He had that level of ability. But once he transferred to St. Benedict's prep to repeat junior year, he dropped football altogether. Given his father's history as a former college and semipro basketball player, it's no surprise that J.R. followed in his father's footsteps towards becoming a serious (round)baller.
5.During one basketball game in high school, he outscored an entire team through three quarters.
J.R. would’ve kept going too, but his coach pulled him out of the game to grant the opposing team a quarter of mercy.
6.He ended up rejecting a basketball scholarship to UNC.
In one of the last prep-to-pro drafts, he was picked 16th overall by the New Orleans Hornets.
7.He doesn't believe in the idea of an NBA Sixth Man.
J.R.'s been, at best, a pretty-good-to-occasionally-awesome sixth man. He won the NBA's Sixth Man of the Year award in 2013, although it's a distinction that J.R. doesn't quite vibe with. In his mind, he should be starting. His take on being a sixth man instead of a starter was astonishingly narrow-minded: “You’re supposed to play your best five. I still don’t understand that to this day. ‘We needed a spark off the bench.’ Well, you’ve got seven other players who are supposed to be NBA players, they all should be sparks.” Doesn't he know that it's who finishes—not who starts—that really matters?
8.He was briefly the highest-paid player in China.
During the NBA lockout, he headed over to China to earn some checks. He signed a record $3 million contract, of which, about $1 million was lost through a laundry list of fines for things like skipping practice.
9.Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul are godfathers of his children.
J.R. and Melo have been best buddies since their Nuggets days. In 2005, J.R.'s Hornets drafted Chris Paul. They played one season together, which was deemed special and long-lasting enough to make Paul the godfather of one of J.R.'s babies.
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10.His sister and girlfriend once started a brawl during one of his games in China.
While J.R. was busy putting up 37 points his family got into a bit of a scuffle in the stands. During a freethrow, a Chinese fan started heckling J.R., and another threw a pair of thunderstix onto the court. His sister started flipping the bird at anyone and everyone, and his girlfriend started taking on any Chinese fan who wanted it. Arena security and J.R. helped escort his family to safety, I guess.
11.He once racked up a $3,000 room service tab.
He kept ordering stacks of trays of food to just, and I quote, “See if they would keep bringing it to the room.” I didn’t know that level of fuccboi behavior could be unlocked. Shout-out to any room servers collecting tips that night, though.
12.He owns the single-game NBA record for three-point attempts.
It happened during a 102-91 loss against the Miami Heat. He made ten of them and scored 32 points, so as much as we'd like to say, “See, J.R. shot the Knicks out of the game! He's a bum,” that simply didn't happen. Melo went 4-17 shooting, and the team shot 37.5 percent on the whole. J.R. was the team's best player that night in spite of his recent 5-17 performance from three against the Bucks. Shooters gotta keep shooting.
13.A jeweler once successfully sued him for $48,000 over that chain.
He bought Black Jesus for $15K in 2010, and three years later, he had yet to pay the balance for the chain. The jeweler sued J.R. for $48,101, demanding payment for the chain plus $10,000 more worth of shinny things. J.R. never responded to the suit, ignoring the whole thing until the judge eventually called off the stalemate and awarded the full amount to the jeweler. Accountants are also a thing, somewhere.
14.He briefly shed the nickname “J.R.” in 2009.
My Name is Earl. After J.R. was convicted in a reckless driving case that killed his best friend, he tried to find the reset button. He’d gone by J.R.—which stands for “Junior” as his real name is Earl Thomas III— basically his entire life. Earl wanted to be known as Earl, but that didn’t last long (all his friends didn’t like it), and neither did his attempts at more mature behavior. Proof: There are still 15 more slides left here. The legend of J.R. rumbled on.
15.Carmelo Anthony reportedly didn't want him on the Knicks.
According to one report, Carmelo Anthony was against bringing J.R. back from China in 2012. They’re friends and all, and Anthony publicly said he’d be “happy” with the move, although that reportedly wasn’t the truth. He gave a “thumbs down” to Knicks management, and was actually sad when the Knicks went ahead with the signing.
16.He's got beef with Brandon Bass's tattoos.
During a conversation with Esquire about his style, J.R.’s tattoos came up. He was asked about a few good and bad tattoos of other players around the league. While Chris Anderson received a condonation from J.R., Brandon Bass was slagged harshly. “It's definitely not good work, it's terrible,” said J.R.
17.His body has over 70 tattoos.
He actually doesn’t know what the official count is. He stopped keeping track once it hit the seventies.
18.The first tattoo Smith got done was one of himself dunking.
J.R. got it done alongside his sister, who was also getting one for the first time.
19.After earning over $25 million in his NBA career, in 2012 his father alleged that J.R. was broke.
A random re-signing scenario that made a slightly big difference: the Clippers offered J.R. a contract once he got back from China. He could've re-joined former Hornets teammate Chris Paul, but this time as a legitimate offensive threat. The lobs and dance moves he would've attempted with Blake Griffin alone would've been viral classics. Jamal Crawford and J.J. Redick may be on different teams right now, and two-guards of their quality would make a difference on any perimeter-starved team. But because J.R. was broke and the Knicks offered $1 million more, he headed to New York.
20.Over a three-game hot streak last season, J.R. hit 24 threes.
The streakiest of streaky shooters. Lest we forget his 5 for 17 three-point performance against the Bucks just a few months earlier.
21.50 Cent's energy drink sponsors him.
He hopped on board 50 Cent's energy drink in March 2013. He claims to use it before every game. If that's true, he needs to drop this fucking sponsorship ASAP. Smith has been garbage since March 2013. Now if Street King sponsored J.R. Smith "The vampire of New York's thirsty club-crawling scene" and not J.R. Smith, "New York Knick", then they'd be onto something.
22.He once drove a $450,000 armored truck through New York.
The Gurkha F5 looks like some bullshit you saw in Ferguson, MO. Although this tank-thing costs about two percent of the $17 million contract J.R. signed last summer, he doesn't actually own it. According to Beyond the Buzzer, J.R.'s friends with some dudes in the rap group SBOE (Slow Bucks Over Everything), the F5 is actually theirs.
Luckily for J.R., he was able to ride/vamp through New York for one awesome night while looking like Batman in this thing. It must be nice to have friends who are also rich and bent on buying extraordinary toys.
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23.His shoelace stunt wasn't the first of its kind in the NBA.
When J.R. went through that whole untying shoelaces phase, we were stunned (and a little giggly) about his clownish behavior. We’ve seen biting, bullying, racism, and legitimate assault and battery go down on professional sports surfaces, but untying a dude’s shoelaces? What?
Turns out, Larry Bird pulled the same shit in a playoff game in 1991. But while Bird was essentially a living monument to the holy ghost of basketball and J.R.’s J.R., only one of them received a fine.
24.While playing a game in China he dropped 60 points off the bench.
This is why J.R. never bothered with practice in China. He went 21 of 32 from the field, grabbed eight boards, and only had three turnovers. That's a very well-played game of basketball right there. Why practice when you can roll out of bed and do this?
25.The Jordan I is his favorite sneaker ever.
J.R.'s also a big fan of the IIs and the XIs. His father is currently building a new strip mall full of sneaker stores. J.R. will have no problem copping those Columbia XIs later this year.
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26.He “didn't eat” in China.
When J.R. went to China, he struggled to adapt to the country’s cuisine and customs. He didn’t trust Chinese food, so he curved eating altogether. Aside from American fast food variants popping up, J.R.’s food options were limited. Cause, you know, Chinese food exists in China.
27.Snakes are his biggest fear.
Snakes are slimy and they don’t chew their food and they have no limbs and a guy once fucked one and put it on the Internet so yes, J.R. Smith, I stand with you in your fear of the serpent vermin.
29.One of his favorite albums is the Juno soundtrack.
This fact warrants a follow-up investigation into J.R.’s iPod.
30.Stephen Curry and Chris Paul (not pictured above) are his golf buddies.
Steph Curry and Chris Paul are DTG, but nobody on the Knicks is. Apparently Melo’s too scared of getting his ass whooped over 18 against Earl.