Image via Complex Original
Tonight Dwight Howard returns to the Staples Center in L.A. To the disdain of Lakers fans the world over, he'll be back in a Rockets uniform, reminding us all of his incredible decision to walk away from the Lakers last summer for more "Dwight-friendly" pastures. The boos tonight will be vicious, and every mistake from Howard will be rapaciously applauded by the home crowd. As a primer for what will be three hours of live slander, it's important to look back at all of the fuccboi moves he's pulled over the years. Like did you know that he wanted the Lakers to amnesty Kobe Bryant as a condition to him possibly re-signing with the team? Or that he once called his old Magic squad a bunch of players that "nobody wanted?" Get your blood pressure monitor ready with 15 Facts About Dwight Howard That Will Make You Hate Him More Than You Already Do in GIFs.
After coach Stan Van Gundy led the Magic to a 52-30 record in 2010-2011 and through a winning season in 2011-2012, Howard asked Magic ownership to fire him.
That's one way to show appreciation towards the head coach that got the best years of your career out of you.
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Right before the 2012 trade deadline, he told Magic fans to "roll the dice" on him possibly re-signing versus walking for nothing.
After months of flip-flopping between wanting a trade and not wanting a trade, he ultimately chose the most selfish option: staying in Orlando while not committing beyond the season, essentially holding the franchise hostage.
A year before he agitated a trade to the Lakers, he told a local radio station that "my heart, my soul and everything I have is in Orlando."
Sorry to any Magic fans who actually believed him.
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The mother of his first child claims that he's fathered eight kids by eight moms in six years.
A kid is a helluva lot more expensive than a pack of rubbers.
While shopping in Harlem, he reportedly bought a Magic hat over a Lakers hat last season, just to be a troll.
For someone who likes to play the victim, he invites a lot of easily avoided hate upon himself.
He allegedly tried to fight Kobe Bryant after Bryant called him "soft."
Trying to start a physical altercation is totally the best way to man-up to Kobe Bryant, winner of five NBA titles.
He once called his old Magic team a bunch of people that "nobody wanted."
Fun fact: In Orlando, Dwight Howard made the playoffs every year except for his first two, and one NBA Finals. But clearly, he was solely responsible for all of the success, right?
During his free agency meeting with the Lakers last summer, he questioned how the Lakers were marketing him.
He's got some nerve to question the marketing skills of the most popular NBA franchise on the face of the planet when he's the only person to blame for his poor image.
Also, he initially requested for the Lakers to move on from Kobe Bryant after 2013-2014.
The situation always has to be all about Dwight, all the time.
Then, his camp allegedly asked the Lakers if they'd consider amnestying Kobe Bryant immediately.
So the Lakers, to keep Dwight Howard—a player who had played one season of below standard basketball for them—were supposed to cut the franchise's greatest modern star for him? GTFO. Crackhead thinking from Howard.
This came after he said in 2011 that if he could play with one player in the entire world, it'd be "No. 24-Kobe Bryant."
Typical flip-flopping Dwight.
While the Lakers were struggling at the beginning of last season, he complained about the team not sharing the ball despite posting one of the lowest assist rates of his career.
Deferring blame instead of taking a leadership role and bringing responsibility upon yourself. Nice one, Dwight. And this guy wanted to have the Lakers cut Kobe so he could be the face of the franchise? Ha!
After signing a max contract with the Rockets (leaving the Rockets with just over $1 million in cap space), he asked the Rockets how they planned to sign a third max free agent.
His current deal with the Rockets nets him over $20 million a year ($7 million more than James Harden), yet he had the audacity to ask where the money to sign another superstar was going to come from. Clearly, Howard wasn't aware of what the Heat's Big Three did to play together—they all took less money to make it work within the confines of the salary cap.
At the beginning of this season, he voiced his displeasure that his number with the Magic wasn't retired.
Tobias Harris currently wears Howard's No. 12 as a tribute to a friend who died from cancer, but that didn't stop Howard from saying, "that number was special down there. And I was a little bit upset about [Harris wearing his number]." It's not known whether or not Howard knew of Harris' reasoning before he spoke out. Harris wears the number to honor a friend who lost a battle to leukemia.
Earlier this season, he lashed out against media members for questioning him on his free-throw shooting, telling reporters to "just let it go."
Maybe if Howard—playing in his 10th NBA season—showed any modicum of improvement from the line, he wouldn't be asked about why he's so shit at free-throws. That's a novel thought, as opposed to publicly ignoring the issue altogether. But to be fair Wilt and Shaq couldn't shoot freebies either.