Image via Complex Original
A bastion of journalism, ESPN’s “First Take” is not. For three hours each weekday morning, Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless take the somewhat innocuous concept of debating the day’s pressing sports news and turn it in to a wasteland of hot takes, some so outlandish that it’s hard to believe the speaker even agrees with the words coming out of his mouth.
In recent years, Bayless, with his one-man crusade against LeBron James and belief that rape charges against Kobe Bryant helped him sell shoes, has become the poster child for everything wrong with the show. But his cohort in insanity, Stephen A., has been known to spout some pretty unthinkable nonsense of his own. Smith’s comments after the Ray Rice domestic violence incident put his ignorance in the limelight, but the man who doesn’t have an inside voice has been wildin’ out for a long, long time. Take a quick refresher course in idiocy as we present The Dumbest Sh*t Stephen A. Smith Has Ever Said.
Says Women Shouldn’t Provoke Men to Hit Them
Quote: “What I’ve tried to implore the female members of my family to do, is let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions. Let’s try to make sure we do our part in making sure that doesn’t happen.”
Date: July 25, 2014
Victim blaming is an easy and fairly despicable way to discredit the woman in many domestic violence situations, so Stephen A. took to First Take’s set to announce that he thinks teaching women to stop “provoking” men to hit them doesn’t get talked about enough. There’s probably a reason for that, Stephen.
Excusing domestic violence by insinuating that women are enticing men to hit them, therefore making it OK, flies to the top of the list of the dumbest/most offensive things Smith has said during his tenure as a talking screaming head. ESPN agreed, and took Smith off the air for a day for his comments.
Insinuating That Chip Kelly is a Racist
Quote: “Chip Kelly makes decisions over the last couple of years that, dare I say, leaves a few brothers feeling uncomfortable. You got brothers walking the streets like ‘What’s up with Chip?’”
Date: March 9, 2015
Well, Chip Kelly, you’ve been caught. Stephen A. Smith, private detective, has discovered that, as the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, you are well on your way to creating the very first modern day all-white NFL team because of the racism that lives deep inside you. You are the Grand Imperial Wizard of the NFL. Your plan is foiled.
It’s telling that Smith himself takes pause before delivering these baseless comments, saying, as Bayless urges him on, “Are you sure? They’re going to be controversial.” But fear not. Kelly didn’t trade McCoy because he’s an aging running back in a league that devalues them, and he didn’t elect not to resign Jeremy Maclin because he didn’t feel committing a ton of money to a no. 2 wideout. He did it because he’s racist. Deeply, deeply racist. THE JIG IS UP, CHIP!
On Michael Sam Being a Distraction
Quote: “I am a proponent of most of the causes the gay community has fought for. And I think that it’s wrong how they’ve been prejudiced against. But having said all that, I think it’s important to recognize that that doesn’t mean [you] have a right to [people being] comfortable with you.”
Date: July 22, 2014
In the midst of an argument over (kill me) whether Michael Sam is a bigger distraction to an NFL team than Michael Vick was after he returned from his dog-fighting prison sentence, Smith got to talking about just how much he supported Tony Dungy’s comments stating that Sam would indeed be a serious distraction.
He then delivered the quote you see above, attempting to say that a gay person does not have the right to expect heterosexual beings to be comfortable around them. It’s as homophobic as it sounds, the idea that straight athletes shouldn’t have to feel comfortable around Sam, like it’s some burden to do so. Smith attempts to word it in a way that allows him to maneuver past using any derogatory terms, but this statement is eerily similar, in both stupidity and offensiveness, to his comments on women provoking men to hit them.
Not Understanding That The Onion is Satire
Quote: “I thought I'd heard enough despicable lies about myself. Now there's some article out that I have a 9-yr-old son and I'm going to have a conversation with him about Sex. Mind you, I neither have a son nor a 9-Year-old. Some ppl are beyond despicable. No end!”
Date: Sept. 17, 2012
Stephen A. not understanding the concept of satire should come as a surprise to no one, but how he was unable to understand that this Onion article was a joke, especially with the headline “Stephen A. Smith Thinking Son is Finally Ready For the Sex Argument,” is beyond comprehension. Smith got himself so worked up that he dedicated an entire Twitter rant to just how “despicable” it is that someone would write about him and his non-existent son having the sex talk.
A handful of tweets in, Smith must have checked his mentions and found a bunch of people calling him an idiot, because he immediately tweeted this: “Haaaaa. The got me. I didn't know it was on Satire! Got it. Peeps got jokes. It's cool!”
Smith probably thinks someone cloned him and put him on Saturday Night Live, too.
Threatening Michael Carter Williams
Quote: “You’re never going to have the last word over us. And you damn sure ain’t going to have the last word over me. I’m not going to start problems, but I can damn sure finish them. If these guys want to come at me, let them do it at their own peril. It will be a mistake.”
Date: Nov. 14, 2014
When Michael Carter Williams was still a member of the forever tanking Philadelphia 76ers, he took to the PR mouthpiece athlete blog The Players’ Tribune to vent about how absurd he thinks it is for the media to accuse a bunch of grown men of purposing losing to secure a higher draft pick. He specifically points the finger at Stephen A. Smith, who was sent to cover what could have potentially been Philadelphia’s record-breaking 27th loss in a row against Detroit last season, saying Smith was “playing a character.”
Smith got wind of MCW’s comments, and took the Sirius Radio airwaves to…insinuate that he’d send his goons after him? Um, what?
Besides the fact that it’s laughable to imagine Smith walking around with an entourage, like he’s got a group of his boys if Philly just sitting around with baseball bats waiting for a phone call, threatening a basketball player because he took a light shot at you, as if you’re some titan of industry, is absurd. You’re a public figure working for one the biggest sports network on the planet, not a high school freshman angry that your buddy stole your girlfriend.
Doesn’t Think Ben Roethlisberger Is That Bad of a Guy
Quote: “Ben Roethlisberger, to me, has never come across as a bad guy.”
Date: July 28, 2014
In the very same show in which Smith apologized for his comments about woman and provoking me to hit them, he decided to show some love to an athlete who was accused of sexual assault.
As Smith and Skip Bayless discussed Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s desire for a new contract, Smith casually let the audience know that, to him, Big Ben has “never come across as a bad guy.” Right. Except for that time he had his bodyguards take a girl to the bathroom in the back of a club and followed her in with his dick already out of his pants. But other than that, the dude is awesome.
Blames RG3's Fiancée For Wedding Registry Controversy
Quote: “I don’t think the fans are the problem here. You know who I think the problem is? His fiancée is the problem. It’s her fault.”
Date: May 20, 2013
You can always tell when Smith is about to say something outlandish because he usually precedes it with a disclaimer. You know, kind of like when someone says “I’m not racist, but..” and then goes on to say something horribly racist.
In the midst of the faux-outrage over Washington Redskins fans buying Robert Griffin III gifts for his wedding registry, in which the holier-than-thou members of the media wagged their finger at both the fans for spending their money on a rich man and RG3 for keeping the gifts, Smith took to his pulpit to spew venom at RG3’s fiancée.
“I’m not being misogynistic in any way, shape, form or fashion,” Smith began, as the rest of us tucked into the fetal position and waited for the awfulness that was to inevitably come next. Smith continued on to chastise Rebecca Liddicoat for even involving the Redskins quarterback in the gift registry process, you know, because that’s the woman’s job.
“I’m just saying in situations like this, to me this is tantamount to asking him to go shopping at the mall. Why? He’s RG3. Don’t do that to him.”
Stephen A. Smith. Sending us back to the Stone Age.
Thinks Ties in Hockey Still Exist
Quote: “Excuse me…it wasn’t 21 games. It was really an 8-game streak. There are three ties. I’m sorry, that doesn’t count.”
Date: March 4, 2013
In March of 2013, the LeBron James-led Miami Heat had won 14 games in a row. Since Stephen A. Smith can’t appear on ESPN without debating something, the WWL had him decide whose streak was more impressive, the aforementioned Heat’s, or the Chicago Blackhawks 21-game point streak.
Smith, who has no idea how hockey works and probably hasn’t watched a game in a decade despite the New York Rangers and Islanders playing in the same city he’s employed in, chose the Heat, because Smith isn’t “into the tie business.” And that’s all good and well. Ties suck. Except the NHL hasn’t had ties as part of the rulebook since 2004, and Smith’s anti-hockey rant here is about as embarrassing as it gets.
Goes at Marshawn Lynch and Gets Shut Down By Arian Foster
Quote: “I think Marshawn Lynch is getting away with it. I think he should be fined $20,000 a day. Because you can’t act like that.”
Date: Jan. 29, 2015
Like many members of the sports media, Stephen A. Smith is unhappy with Marshawn’s Lynch’s refusal to offer up anything more than a “Thank you for asking,” or a “I’m just here so I don’t get fined,” in response to questions. So ahead of the Super Bowl, Smith took up his beef with Houston Texans running back/philosopher Arian Foster, and promptly got dressed down.
“I’ve never seen anyone show up to see a player talk,” Foster says. Smith is finally relegated to just not nodding and agreeing with the Pro Bowl running back’s points. You’re out of your element, Stephen A.
On Black Athletes Smoking Weed
Quote: “I don’t see the white guys getting called out for smoking weed. You put a shot of all these guys smoking weed, that got busted for it…all of them, practically all of them….black, black, black, black, black. Blowing millions for some weed? Really?”
Date: March 27, 2015
It isn’t so much the topic at hand here, it’s the way Smith addresses it. Yes, the NFL’s stance on marijuana is antiquated. And though it is now legal in a handful of states, weed brings with it a stigma within the confines of professional football. But it is illegal within those same confines, and them's the rules.
But Smith can’t just make it about that. Oh no. In the midst of his over the top, high volume rant that essentially boils down to THESE DUDES THROWING AWAY MILLIONS FOR WEED, Smith sprinkles in his bread and butter: race. Angrily proclaiming that it only appears to be black athletes getting busted for Mary Jane, as it’s the downfall of the black athlete in America, is really the point Smith is trying to make here.
Meanwhile, Michael Phelps and Bode Miller just shrug and take another hit from the bong.
On LeBron James’ Football Tweet
Quote: “You need to focus on getting a deal done, getting a collective bargaining agreement reached, so you can get back on the court and make up to millions upon millions of fans who watched you wet the bed in the fourth quarter. I don’t want to hear anything about football.”
Date: Oct. 12, 2011
During the 2011 NBA lockout, LeBron James, then a member of the Miami Heat, took to Twitter to joking ask ESPN’s John Clayton when the deadline for NFL team’s to sign free agents was. We all chuckled, discussed whether or not Bron could legitimately play in the NFL (he could), and went on with our lives.
Not Smith. The purveyor of social media didn’t find LeBron’s tweet humorous in the slightest. Instead, he took it as an opportunity to blast Bron Bron for “wetting the bed” in the 2011 NBA Finals against the Dallas Mavericks and suggest he get a collective bargaining agreement finalized so he can get back on the court on make up for it. You know, because James is the sole person working with the owners in negotiations with the NBAPA.
If you really wanted to fire shots and LeBron’s finals performance, just do it, Stephen A. But using your faux outrage over an innocent tweet as a way to get there just dilutes your opinions.
Breaking Up the Big Three After Two Seasons
Quote: “If they don’t get it done this year. If they get closed out in Game 6 or Game 7 of this series, it’s time to break them up. Detonate.”
Date: June 6, 2012
Not much needs to be said here, and the longer this video goes on the more asinine it gets. With the Heat on the brink of being eliminated from the 2012 NBA Playoffs by the Boston Celtics, Smith decided he’d seen enough of the Heat’s Big Three experiment. After two seasons. If you have the stomach to continue, he then suggests Pat Riley pick up the phone, call the Lakers, and offer to trade Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh for Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol.
For a basketball reporter supposedly plugged in to the NBA scene, Smith spends a lot of time in fantasy land.