Image via Complex Original
If this winter has been depressing you as much as it has us, you could probably use a good laugh. Lucky for you, this list is more horrifying than most haunted houses, and it's only February. Vintage cars, supercars -- nothing is safe. From cars lacking engines to cars lacking taste, view a full visual treatise on how not to trick out your ride with The 15 Worst Cars on eBay Right Now.
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1969 Dodge A100 Window Van
Location: Isonville, Ky.
Price: Current bid: $3,400
If you squint, it totally looks like deadmau5' new whip.
Amish Buggy
Location: Livermore, Colo.
Price: Buy It Now for $6,955
We just can't get over the cognitive dissonance of bidding for an Amish buggy on eBay. It's astounding. Yes, it's apparently some sort of former Budweiser showpiece according to the listing, but c'mon, son.
1998 Dodge Stratus
Location: Orangevale, Calif.
Price: $5,500
With the money this owner spent on those Lambo doors, he could've had a better car. Also, this owner should really have included photos bigger than postage stamps in this listing. Fail.
2011 Mini Cooper
Location: West Palm Beach, Fla.
Price: Buy It Now for $79,990
Two things: One, this looks like the unholy spawn of Toby Keith and the creator of the Powerpuff Girls did this paint job. Gross. And two, if we're paying nearly $80K for a new MINI, it had better be a highly performance-modified JCW or one of those Dakarmobiles at the very least.
2012 Ford Edge
Location: Brooklyn, N.Y.
Price: Buy It Now for $13,950
This Edge apparently visited whatever the car version of a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison is. And now it can be yours!
1964 International Harvester Of Souls
Location: Central Point, Ore.
Price: Buy It Now for $4,700
This fabulous paint job brought to you by a misused power washer! There's a lesson to be learned here, kids: don't wash your car with power washers. Ever. EVER.
1969 Chevrolet Impala SS
Location: Marysville, Ohio
Price: Buy It Now for $5,000
If you ever wanted a $5K rusted metal 3D American classic jigsaw puzzle, bid now.
1987 Buick Regal
Location: Pompano Beach, Fla.
Price: Buy It Now for $6,500
Go insane, go insane, throw some dollas, make it rain...er, stickers. Or decals? Yeah, decals.
1993 Mitsubishi 3000GT
Location: Phoenix, Ariz.
Price: Buy It Now for $500
This started life as a VR4 but currently has no motor, no transmission, and no transfer case. It comes complete with a certificate of destruction, which would make an excellent band name.
2008 Tesla Roadster
Location: Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Price: Buy It Now for $25,900
It's a salvage title Tesla that neither runs nor drives, and you want how much for it? After hearing George Clooney's account of ownership, we'll make like Chris Paul and pass.
2012 Chevrolet Silverado Crew Cab 4x4
Location: Clinton Township, Mich.
Price: Buy It Now for $11,500
Hey, it's a body with a clear title -- what's left of it, anyway.
2005 Lincoln Navigator
Location: Independence, Mo.
Price: Buy It Now for $4,195
"Lincoln is crashed sold 100% as is." We hadn't noticed the damage, but now that you mention it, we see that should buff out. Thanks for the heads up, bruh.
1957 Ford Thunderbird
Location: Ravenna, Ohio
Price: Buy It Now for $5,500
"Item condition: Used - Burnt." Or as Burger King would say, "flame-kissed."
2012 McLaren MP4-12C
Location: Brooklyn, N.Y.
Price: Buy It Now for $95,995
These images are so heartbreaking, we're surprised we don't hear Sarah McLachlan coming out of our computer speakers and a sad voice asking us for money.
1974 Corvette Z0MG
Location: Winter Haven, Fla.
Price: Current bid: $3.58
As of today, we found out the National Corvette Museum is unfortunately located over a sinkhole. As of this writing, 8 significant 'Vettes have fallen in (including 2 on loan from GM). We wish this were one of them. Preferably the one on the bottom.