What Does President Obama's Basketball Game Say About His Politics?

lead

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they play basketball. Ball hogs on the court tend to be ball hogs in life; the guy that plays tough D and sets good picks is probably just the kind of dude you want on your side during life's crunch times. Barack Obama turns 50 today, with all of the attendant fanfare and celebration. He's the best (only?) basketball-playing president we've ever had, but what does his game say about his politics and governing style? Click through our exhaustive look at his playing style to find out.

ankles

Now why is he breaking that nice white man's ankles? Wait, maybe he really does hate them!

followthrough

Picture-perfect follow through? Or super-secret communist hand gesture? We report, you decide.

6

Caught abusing white people. Again.

carolina

Everybody else in this game is wearing blue shorts. Not Obama. His pants are black. Yes, BLACK.

5

Clearly a man who will foul to get what he wants.

4

Why are those white ladies behind him smiling? WHY DO YOU THINK THEY'RE SMILING?

7

You see what he's doing here, right? Boxing out the white man!

8

OK, what's the deal, he just keeps around a group of flat-footed white dudes to beat up on all day? Somebody page Bachmann!*

*The liberal media establishment that we're beholden to** would like us to note that we've been joking all along.

**Yes, that part, too.