Image via Complex Original
#DeflateGate is officially a thing, and every single NFL fan on the Internet wants you to know that they have an opinion on it. Whether it's an angry columnist from Newburgh, Ind. or an armchair quarterback who is convinced that Bill Belichick was sent from hell to ruin football, everyone has got something to say about the New England Patriots and their deflated balls.
Of course, for every flyover purist calling for Brady and Belichick's heads on a silver platter, we have a Boston chowderhead rushing to espouse their conspiracy theories and defend their beloved franchise. "Everyone does it," they say. "At least we didn't bribe an official or anything," they say.
Pats fans: You aren't necessarily wrong. Based on the information that's starting to pour in, it's becoming more and more clear that the Patriots aren't the first team to use deflated balls. They likely won't be the last.
However, that doesn't make your collective indignation and anger any less funny. As the reports are rolling in, the truthers are coming out. These are the 12 loudest and most vehement New England Patriots fans on the Internet right now, from the commenting cesspools of Bleacher Report, Barstool Sports, and even yours truly.
Too Many Takes
Source: Bleacher Report
This dude started out with a thought experiment, then delivered a brief diatribe against the league, then decided to rail against ESPN. All in the span of about three sentences. Pick your battles, man.
"A Privilege"
Source: Barstool Sports
Yes, Colts fans were probably honored to watch their team lose 45-7 last Sunday.
A Win Is a Win
Source: Barstool Sports
Never has a more accurate description of airport bar patrons been writ on this Internet.
Everything Is Illuminated
Source: ESPN
We don't really know where this guy's allegiances lie, but we are almost certain that this man spends more time wearing a Guy Fawkes mask than any of us would ever be comfortable knowing about.
Oh, the Irony
Source: ESPN
As you soon as you see a man on an ESPN comment thread use the phrase "simple-minded people", you can almost assuredly start scrolling past him.
LOUD NOISES
Source: Barstool Sports
LISTEN YOU IDIODTS MAYBE I F I TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS I"LL BE ABLE TOO CONVICNE EVERYONE THAT I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABT.
Can We Get a Spell-Check Over Here?
Source: ESPN
Alright, take a deep breath. Remember your words, and your punctuation.
Wait, He's Back!
Source: ESPN
Your copy and paste arguments can't hide from us, Scott Blinn. Ctrl+F sees all.
Third Time's a Charm!
Source: ESPN
We'd give him points for persistence, but at the same time, we can't reward him for his lack of originality.
Thanks, Obama
Source: Pro Football Talk
Did you really have to slip in a shot at our education system? Seriously, you probably didn't even know what "PSI" stands for until the scandal broke.
Roger Goodell = Vince McMahon?
Source: Complex Sports
It's never too late to bring the XFL back, y'know.
ADMIT It
Source: Bleacher Report
Random capitalizations and emphasis are a hallmark of any truly awful comment board member. It's basically a law.
"Think About It"
Source: Bleacher Report
Dude, this whole controversy is about the fact that a deflated ball is easier to catch. This argument has officially become a game of Telephone for the NFL.