In basketball years he's ancient. And yet he still gets it done. There aren't many players over the last 20 years in NBA history who've been more fun to watch than Tim Duncan. On the court he's a tribute to aging. A combination of experience and maxing his skill set have allowed him to outlast his contemporaries. He doesn't have the spring he once did. He relies on veteran moves over athleticism. His advanced intellect may or may not have allowed him to play this long. Most importantly, even though he's pushing middle age he still looks about 35 years younger than Greg Oden. Staying on the floor keeps you young.
Off the court is a different story. Duncan is a throwback to an era where we didn't get too much information about big name athletes. It's nice to see the rare player who doesn't feel the need to have a Twitter account. Those guys are fading out in all sports with just a scant few remaining (ex's: Derek Jeter, Tom Brady, etc.) But while Jeter has the hotshot rep, and Brady is married to a supermodel, Duncan's had to don the "boring" label.
It's not necessarily bad, just different. The public's got an athlete archetype that TD doesn't fit.
That being said, you can't spell "The Big Fundamental" without "fun." And that's what birthdays are all about. Even though he's in the midst of the playoffs, there's still time to celebrate. Here's our Educated Guess on How Tim Duncan's Spending Today, his 38th Birthday.
RELATED: An Educated Guess at How Johnny Manziel is Spending His 21st Birthday
RELATED: Triangle Offense - The Passion of Tim Duncan
In basketball years he's ancient. And yet he still gets it done. There aren't many players over the last 20 years in NBA history who've been more fun to watch than Tim Duncan. On the court he's a tribute to aging. A combination of experience and maxing his skill set have allowed him to outlast his contemporaries. He doesn't have the spring he once did. He relies on veteran moves over athleticism. His advanced intellect may or may not have allowed him to play this long. Most importantly, even though he's pushing middle age he still looks about 35 years younger than Greg Oden. Staying on the floor keeps you young.
Off the court is a different story. Duncan is a throwback to an era where we didn't get too much information about big name athletes. It's nice to see the rare player who doesn't feel the need to have a Twitter account. Those guys are fading out in all sports with just a scant few remaining (ex's: Derek Jeter, Tom Brady, etc.) But while Jeter has the hotshot rep, and Brady is married to a supermodel, Duncan's had to don the "boring" label.
It's not necessarily bad, just different. The public's got an athlete archetype that TD doesn't fit.
That being said, you can't spell "The Big Fundamental" without "fun." And that's what birthdays are all about. Even though he's in the midst of the playoffs, there's still time to celebrate. Here's our Educated Guess on How Tim Duncan's Spending Today, his 38th Birthday.
RELATED: An Educated Guess at How Johnny Manziel is Spending His 21st Birthday
RELATED: Triangle Offense - The Passion of Tim Duncan
7:00 a.m.: Awakens from deep slumber, shuts off white noise machine playing Beethoven's "Recollections of Country Life," at reasonable volume.
Robot that he programmed in garage says "Happy Birthday, Tim" in five different languages.
7:12 a.m.: Starts the day with corn flakes—this time with a spoonful of Stevia on top!
What kind of birthday would it be if you couldn't let loose?
7:44 a.m.: Unscrews chest plate, does repairs on his internal hard drive.
The annual tradition continues.
8:15-11:15 a.m.: Waits three hours for the cable guy, but doesn't mind.
"How poor are they that they have not patience? What wound did ever heal but by degrees?" - William Shakespeare Tim Duncan
11:16 a.m.: Gets pissed after realizing cable guy walked off with DVR full of C-SPAN.
South Asia Elections and Governance was on that thing! Screams "Gosh dang it!" in Klingon.
11:18 a.m.: Chases after cable truck, neighborhood kids excitedly ask him to play pickup game with them.
TD counters with a challenge of his own: Scrabble using only palindromes before upping the ante by saying "Or are you pusillanimous road apples too obtuse?" Disappointed/confused kids decline.
12:03 p.m.: Calls police to report self for noise violation after turning up "Jeopardy" too loud.
"I accept full responsibility for my actions officer."
Police officer: "...W—what?"
2:48 p.m.: Shows up to practice, greets team with legendary sense of humor.
When the topic comes up, Duncan hits them with the clever stuff "It's scientifically proven that people with more birthdays live longer." After long, awkward silence Tiago Splitter counters with "I got you a gift but it won't stop ticking." Team laughs.
2:56 p.m.: Practice interrupted by loud explosion from locker room.
Tiago Splitter arrested.
5:27 p.m.: After practice, does personal prep for Game Three by coming up with anagrams for "Dirk Nowitzki."
*Writer thinks for 45 minutes* Like...Dork Niwitzki. Holy shit those are hard.
7:04 p.m.: Treats himself to a shopping spree at Casual Male XL.
Do you weigh 250 lbs.? Are you six-foot-fucking-eleven? Today we've got the store for you. To be honest, after looking at Kevin Durant with a knapsack, D-Wade with Urkel goggles, and Russell Westbrook in anything on any given day, Duncan's style straight out of Dawson's Creek is a breath of fresh air.
7:48 p.m.: Cuts loose at Renaissance Fair.
According to figures pulled directly out of my ass: 3+ million people visit Renaissance Festivals annually. So, when you think about it, one of them was bound to be good at basketball. Anyway, thank Merlin there's one weekend left at Four Winds CanterburyFaire.
9:30 p.m. Sharp: Finishes day in the missionary position.
Laughs at people making slideshows on Internet. Then yells "I'm cumming!" in Klingon.
