Image via Complex Original
Three things are certain in life: death, taxes and some drunken loudmouth dick ruining the sporting experience for you and your family. So here's to you drunken sports fans we'd raise our glasses but most of you are probably alcoholics who don't need anymore encouragement. This post is our attempt at a wakeup call. If that first DUI wasn't an eye opener then odds are this won't be either, but at least you can't say Complex didn't try. Anyway, here's some hilariously sauced fans. If you see yourself in here then please, for your mother's sake, get your shit together!
Fettsack
Fan Of: FC Schalke 04
We hope you have a tougher stomach then this dude.
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Why did you do that?
Fan Of: Not Jimmy Johnson
A welcome relief after watching guys (and Danica Patrick) drive in circles for hours. Only after she hits him does he realize that probably wasn't a great idea.
Pole Smoker
Fan Of: North Carolina State
You want to grind up and down on a pole for a living? Then an NC State degree's a good thing to have. Cue pissed off Wolfpack alum who thinks we're serious.
The Friendly Confines
Fan Of: Chicago Cubs
You want a classy girl you can bring home? At Wrigley you get your pick.
Don't Poke the Bear
Fan Of: Georgetown
We don't think we'd mess with that dude on the left. Like a teen in a strip club he can erupt at any moment.
How to Catch a Drunk
Fan Of: New York Yankees
If you're a human being (and if you're reading this it's likely) and at some point in your life you're caught in a net, then by God something has gone horribly wrong.
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North of the Border
Fan of: Toronto Blue Jays
Whoa, alcohol can lead to violence?
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Take That Pittsburgh?
Fan Of: Detroit Red Wings
Not as much fun as it looks (except maybe that last one).
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A True Friend
Fan Of: Detroit Lions
Giving Lions fans something to take their minds off the game.
End of Argument
Fan Of: Unknown
Next time a pretentious European soccer fan lectures you about Americans not being cultured enough to understand "football," show them this pic followed by any condescending sentence you want.
Bleacher Creature
Fan Of: Chicago Cubs
Would blow a higher number on a breathalyzer than Rihanna would blow in...you know what dude? That's not cool.
Rock Bottom
Fan Of: Tampa Bay Rays
We'd love to know what this dude did to get a taser to the head. We mean, it's not like a ballpark cop to overreact.
I Got It on Video!
Fan Of: Buffalo Bills
Great prediction from a dude who realizes what YouTube is for.
Good Evening Officer, Whoa!
Fan Of: Milwaukee Brewers
According to the link he pissed himself right after this.
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Bad Idea
Fan Of: Cleveland Browns
Pre-regret.
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12th Man
Fan Of: University of Miami
Who knew there were stupid people in Florida?
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Father Son Moment
Fan Of: Chicago White Sox
Ah the Ligues. The two generation piece of shit tandem who famously split beers (though the youngest was 15 at the time) and attacked Royals first base coach Tom Gamboa back in 2002 (the baseball lifer has suffered permanent hearing damage). We're sure they got their lives straightened out.