The Worst Local Car Dealership Commercials Starring Pro Athletes

Nothing says "COME IN AND BUY A CAR!" like a professional athlete talking over some cheesy music in a local car dealership commercial. At least, that's what local car dealers seem to think. Because over the years, we've seen dozens of car dealerships from all over the country ask MLB, NBA, NFL, and NHL players to star in their commercials. And in most instances, the results have been as catastrophic as a car crash.

From the crappy graphics that are used in most of the commercials to the stiff, dry deliveries of just about all of the pro athletes who have ever starred in one, we've had enough of these awful advertisements. Just check out our list of The Worst Local Car Dealership Commercials Starring Pro Athletes. Do any of these actually make you want to go and buy a car?

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The Car Dealership: 125 Auto and Truck Sales in Plaistow, N.H.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: The acting was underwhelming. The announcer was unnecessary. And yo, did Papelbon just DRIVE OUT TO THE MOUND IN A HUMMER?!? Sigh, yes. And sadly, as you can see in the other two commercials that are also featured in this clip, Papelbon's follow-up efforts weren't any better.

The Car Dealership: Rodman Ford in Foxborough, Mass.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Did they really need to introduce Larry Legend at the beginning of this commercial? Like, isn't the whole point of hiring a major athlete that you don't need to spend time explaining who they are? Also, do we really believe that Larry Bird was driving a Ford Escort back in '85? For a 30-second spot, this commercial generated more questions than answers.

The Car Dealership: McLoughlin Auto Mall in Portland, Ore.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: At the end of it, McLoughlin directs you to their website to check out bloopers and outtakes from the commercial. We can't imagine how bad those must be if this was the best that Lopez and Aldridge had to offer.

The Car Dealership: Eastern Motors in various Maryland and Virginia locations

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Halfway through this commercial, Ovie starts cracking up and asks if anyone has any shots of vodka that he can take. And not surprisingly, everything sort of just goes downhill from there.

The Car Dealership: Cadillac Village in Norwood, Mass.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Ridley and Cadillac Village general manager Chan Whiting decided to do their commercial together in onesies. They did this because…Yeah, we've got nothing. Was this really necessary, fellas?

The Car Dealership: Champion Ford in Alexandria, Ky.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Sooooooo…You're allowed to just curse up a storm in commercials down in Kentucky, huh?!

The Car Dealership: Bay Ride Honda Volvo in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Does anybody really believe that a car dealership would let a couple kids play street hockey directly outside of their lot? Uh, no. Then again, we wouldn't have guessed that anyone would have let Graves—a former New York Rangers star—leave the house in that vest, either. So what the hell do we know?

The Car Dealership: Norman Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge in Norman, Okla.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Hey, this could have been worse, right? Perkins could have actually agreed to sing here and made this even harder on our ears.

The Car Dealership: C Harper Chevrolet, Buick, Cadillac in Belle Vernon, Pa.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: The concept of this commercial was actually pretty decent. But to be honest, the chubby guy in the suit holding the balloons was way more entertaining than Ward. We hope they didn't break the bank to get him to come in to read those lines.

The Car Dealership: Elway Dealers in various Colorado locations

Why The Commercial Was Awful: All the former Broncos quarterback had to do here was say, "Hi, I'm John Elway and I won your favorite team two Super Bowls. Come buy a car." And his sales would have done through the roof. Instead, he spent 30 seconds talking about his "WYSIWYG." WTF?

The Car Dealership: A&L Motor Sales in Monroeville, Pa.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: The message that comes across here is "Regardless of whether you're a star in the NHL or just a regular, average Joe in the NHL, A&L will cater to you!" Er, that's great and all, guys. But what about the rest of us who aren't in the NHL? Instead of hiring four NHL players next time, hire one NHL player and three better writers.

The Car Dealership: Eastern Motors in various Maryland and Virginia locations

Why The Commercial Was Awful: We don't know what's worse—the completely uninspired performance that Campbell gave or the guy dressed as an Indian that single-handedly proved why the Redskins should have changed their name 30 years ago? It's a tough call to make.

The Car Dealership: Various Buick dealerships in Chicago

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Is there anything sadder than knowing that, once upon a time, "Sweetness" was helping hawk free landau roofs and two-tone paints jobs on 1981 Buicks?!

The Car Dealership: Colussy Chevrolet in Bridgeville, Pa.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: You should never get into a car with strangers, kids! Even if that stranger is one of the most famous NHL players in the world. Seriously, what kind of weird message was this commercial sending?

The Car Dealership: Performance Subaru in Chapel Hill, N.C.

Why The Commercial Was Awful: Wow…Wow…WOW! That's the only word that comes to mind when we think about how bad this was. We wonder why.