Image via Complex Original
Much of the talk of the 2016 Rio Olympics has not surrounded the events themselves, but rather a series of headlines casting serious doubt on the city’s ability to competently host the games. Zika virus, polluted water, athlete kidnappings, unfurnished apartments, and the like have dominated coverage of the Summer Olympics, and even scared several star athletes out of competing in the games altogether.
All of this talk hopefully will subside now that the games have begun and the United States—as is typically the case—is poised to be one of the dominant countries this year. Chances are you probably don’t follow most Olympic sports as closely as you do the NBA or NFL, but America is poised to capture gold in multiple events, including a number of marquee sports, giving you ample reason to chant “USA” over the next couple weeks and rock the red, white, and blue with authority. Here are 10 Events the U.S. is (Pretty Much) Guaranteed to Win Gold.
Men's Basketball
America will be without reigning NBA Finals MVP, LeBron James, reigning unanimous MVP, Stephen Curry, and other stars like Chris Paul, Russell Westbrook, and Anthony Davis. Even minus those guys, they still have the most star-studded roster with Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, and Klay Thompson among the headliners.
There have only been three instances where the U.S. hasn’t won gold since 1936, so history is obviously on Team USA's side. Vegas has installed Carmelo and company as such overwhelming favorites that you'd have to lay $2,000 in order to win $100 at the sportsbook. If they don’t take home gold, the squad should be forced to listen to their rendition of “A Thousand Miles” on repeat for the duration of their flight home. Because that will be the greatest disappointment of the Olympics—and maybe of U.S.A. Basketball history (short of 2004).
Women's Basketball
The men’s team will get more attention due to its roster, but the women are equally as dominant—and will have equally-high expectations. The women’s team has won gold in seven of the last eight Olympics dating back to 1984, so they will be in championship-or-bust mode as well. FYI, you should always be in championship-or-bust mode when your country invented the game you’re competing in.
Women's Beach Volleyball
Kerri Walsh-Jennings and Misty May-Treanor were basically the Shaq and Kobe of beach volleyball (minus the animosity and freestyle diss tracks). Together, Walsh-Jennings and May-Treanor won gold at each of the last three Olympics, and were widely considered to be the greatest beach volleyball tandem in history.
May-Treanor has since retired, and Walsh-Jennings will be paired with April Ross, who was a silver medalist in 2012. She will be looking for her fourth medal with a new teammate, much like Kobe when he was paired with Pau Gasol in 2009.
Women’s 4x400 meter relay
Chances are you don’t even know what a meter translates to in U.S. measurements, but that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that America has won each of the last five 4x400 meter relays, and is looking to become the first ever team to six-peat. This makes them the most dominant American team in its respective sport, aside from the basketball teams.
Women's Soccer
It’s no secret that Team USA is the best in the world. They’re the reigning World Cup and Olympic champions, so they will be everyone’s target in Rio. They’ve become targeted so much so that Brazilian fans taunted goalkeeper Hope Solo with “Zika” chants at a game this week (and you thought Philly fans were bad). But these antics should do little to hamper America’s quest for gold.
Women's Singles Tennis
Remember that scene of “The Avengers” when Loki tells Iron Man “I have an army,” and then Iron Man totally stuck it to him by saying “We have a Hulk”? That’s pretty much the USA in women’s tennis, except instead of the Incredible Hulk, we boast the incredible 22-time Grand Slam winner Serena Williams. She’s won gold in all three of the Olympics she has participated in, and is looking to make it four this year.
Women's Doubles Tennis
Basically the same thing applies from women’s singles, except throw Venus Williams into the mix. They’ve taken home the gold all three times they’ve competed in this category.
Women’s Individual All-Around Gymnastics
This is another sport Americans fall in love with for two days, only to forget about it for the next four years. The United States will be going for its fourth consecutive gold medal in the Individual All-Around; they’ve taken home gold every year since 2012 and have won both gold and silver in each of the last two games.
This year’s team will feature gold medal favorite Simone Biles who at 19 years old will be making her first Olympics appearance. As long as China’s gymnasts are all over the age of nine, America hopes to do well in this category.
Men's Swimming
This is the time of year where everyone in America will pretend to be a diehard swimming fan for two weeks. America always wins a bunch of medals in Olympic (indoor, thankfully) waters, and one does not need to be a swimming expert to predict that Michael Phelps is probably going to do well this Olympics. He has medaled in 22 of the 24 Olympic events he has ever competed in, so it’s safe to assume he will be coming home with some serious hardware.
Well, at least if it’s not stolen from him.
Women's Swimming
On the women’s side, it appears as though there could finally be a female answer to Phelps in Katie Ledecky. The 19-year-old phenom has already set 11 world records, and is on track to become one of Rio’s breakout stars. She will be swimming in the 200, 400, and 800 meter freestyles, and considering she already holds world records in the 400 and 800, it’s looking like she’s be bringing home the gold. Not bad for a teenager.
To learn more about other Olympic hopefuls, visit teamusa.org. The Olympics can be seen on NBC.