The Softest Athletes in Sports History

The Downy Hall of Fame.

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How do you define a soft athlete? Is it their game or what they do off-the-field that defines their bitchassness? Many guys fall under both, like Glen Davis and Carmelo Anthony. Yes, Carmelo. You'll have to read our reasoning before you crucify us, so chill. There's also all-time greats like Randy Moss and Wayne Gretzky that showed flashes of soft play throughout their careers. Again, hear us out before you start talking shit. And then you have the certified Downy-soft Hall of Famers like Vlade DivacAndrea Bargnani, and Pau Gasol. There's no debate when it comes to them. Check out the Softest Athletes in Sports History.

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40. Carmelo Anthony

Sport: Basketball

How could the baller known for his "bully-ball" style of play and support of the “Stop Snitchin’” campaign make it onto the softest athletes of all time list? Before he made his MVP campaign this season, Melo was known as the very talented but somewhat pudgy All-Star who could light up the scoreboard when he felt like it but didn’t like playing defense. His softest moment by far is the Mardy Collins snuff and run incident.

Kevin Garnett pushed Melo to the edge by reportedly telling him what his wife, Lala Anthony, tastes like. Melo handled it by confronting Garnett after the game—with half of the NYPD in between them the whole time, of course. There was also the Twitter beef with Kat Stacks where Melo quickly used the “my account got hacked” excuse. #foh #wedontbelieveyou

39. Wayne Gretzky

Sport: Hockey

How could the greatest player to ever play in the NHL be considered soft? Easy. While teams usually have the enforcer who fights your battles on the ice, Wayne Gretzky supposedly took it a bit further by having a bodyguard roam the rink just in case things got too out of hand. And judging from this clip, Gretzky could use all the help he could get.

38. Dwight Howard

Sport: Basketball

Don't let the physique fool you, Dwight Howard pumps only the purest of baby lotion through his veins. When he's not crying about head coaches and subsequently trying to get them fired, Howard can be seen sitting out and taking way too long to heal from one of his many bumps and bruises. Kobe's getting privy to DH's games, so you better believe that all that is going to come to an end real soon.

37. Blake Griffin

Sport: Basketball

Blake Griffin looks like he's hardbody, but the fact of the matter is, he flops too damn much for a man his size. He doesn't do it as often as he used to, mainly because of the new anti-flopping rules. But he was one of the guys that came out against it. Surprise, surprise. Expect him to take a flopping fine in a pivotal game during this year's playoffs.

36. Chris Bosh

Sport: Basketball

Don't get it twisted, we think Chris Bosh is one cool dude, but like many guys in the NBA prior to the rule change, CB was a flopper. Check that, Bosh still is a flop artist. We call it an artistry because it takes a certain skill to make the ref and the entire NBA believe that your dive is legit and not deserving of a hefty fine. He's also terrified of the post and would shoot nothing but corner threes if you let him.

35. Jay Cutler

Sport: Football

The Chicago Bears have had a couple staples over the past few years: Brian Urlacher anchoring a tough defense, Matt Forte outplaying his contract, and last but certainly not least, Jay Cutler getting hurt. Granted, his O-line has been a notch below a Charles Barkley "terrible," but Jay just hasn't been shown to be much of a tough guy. He's not only been hurt a ton in his career but he's also been caught whining on sidelines with his coaches and made Phillip Rivers look like Tupac one game. Oh, and remember the time Cutler supposedly sprained his knee in the 2011 NFC Championship but was walking and standing the rest of the game? Game over.

34. Carlos Boozer

Sport: Basketball

Reggie Miller couldn't hold himself back when talking about Booze and we all know about the hair fiasco. Getting paid as much as he does and caring more about his hairline than interior D is a problem, a big problem. D Rose get your boy.

33. Brook Lopez

Sport: Basketball

There is no reason for a seven footer to grab six boards a game. No reason. People like to lean on the fact that he often plays alongside elite rebounders like Kris Humphries and Reggie Evans, but that's a lame excuse. He also prefers to take the face up jumper rather than banging in the paint. Plus he seemingly injures his foot after every dunk.

32. Oliver McCall

Sport: Boxing

Son cried in the ring. Tom Hanks should've been on the scene: "Crying? There's no crying in boxing!" To be fair, McCall was going through some problems prior to his bout with Lennox Lewis, but to just give up and then start crying is a little much, especially if you're about to get paid millions of dollars to throw hands.

31. Landon Donovan

Sport: Soccer

The United States is possibly the only country in the world that thinks Landon Donovan is a talented soccer player. Whether it be in LA with the Galaxy, or Everton with the Toffees, one thing is for certain: Landon Donovan is one soft dude. No, he's not just soft-spoken, he plays soft on the pitch as well. Never afraid to go down under a challenge, Donovan carries the perpetual US chip on his shoulder that every other country hates us for. We're actually not sure how far away from the truth that is, but regardless, for all his "playing" and gesticulations, Donovan will go down as a hero in US soccer. Nobody will be forgetting that late, late goal against Algeria anytime soon.

30. Shawn Estes

Sport: Baseball

Pitchers are probably the last person in baseball you would suggest of being soft. They're expected to bounce back stronger after getting shelled in a game and they aren't allowed to fear being hit with a baseball that flies off a bat in the batter's box. But don't put Shawn Estes in that company of hurlers. That's because back in 2003, Estes was deathly scared of Roger Clemens retaliating if he threw at the Rocket in an effort to protect his own teammate because Clemens threatened to drop him if he was pegged while the two had dinner together the night before. Really? Great backbone. We weren't there but we're sure Estes ordered some soft-serve ice cream with his meal.

29. Dwayne Bowe

Sport: Football

If there was one play that could show how soft Dwayne Bowe is, it's this one right here. Bowe signals for the ball, but when he gets the pass in his direction, the Chiefs wide receiver gets alligator arms because he's either scared of the possible contact coming his way or dude simply can't rise to the occasion. A star receiver does what it takes to succeed. D-Bowe is soft and far from elite.

28. Manny Ramirez

Sport: Baseball

They didn't call it "Manny Being Manny" for nothing. With 162 games, the MLB season can wear on any major leaguer which is why Manny Ramirez would make sure to give himself plenty of time following an injury to rest his Charmin-like body. But, his softness also extended onto the field where he would rarely overextend himself to make a play. And when he did, Manny made plays like this. You know what, maybe it's actually better that he never hustled. And that whole Don Zimmer/Pedro fight happened on the count of Manny overreacting to a high and inside pitch.

27. Mike Ribeiro

Sport: Hockey

If you thought the flop was only reserved for soccer players, think again. Following that old adage, "do what it takes to win," Mike Ribeiro had an acting performance worthy of an Oscar during the 2004 playoffs against the Boston Bruins when he pretended to nearly die after getting checked by an opposing player. Moments later, Ribeiro can be seen laughing it off and even taunting the penalized individual. But you know what they say, karma is a bitch and dude needed an emergency tracheotomy after taking a high stick in 2010. Hey, you get what you give, right?

26. Ryan Leaf

Sport: Football

Leaf suffered from a severe case of unwarranted arrogance and clear softness in his short and uneventful career. He picked on camera men and reporters instead of nickle corners and cover 2 defenses, and thought he was the Chargers' savior when he couldn't hold Peyton's jock strap. Sad story and incredibly soft doucher, advantage Colts.

25. Pau Gasol

Sport: Basketball

Pau Gasol makes it so easy to pick on him. He's a hell of a player on both ends of the court, but he goes through these phases that make you scratch your head. Like when he looked pale and defeated while the Lakers got swept by the Mavs in the 2011 playoffs or the many times he had to be consoled after hearing trade rumors. However, he has proven that he can be tough at times and played a major role in Los Angeles' three consecutive trips to the Finals and their two titles in that span.

24. Fernando Torres

Sport: Soccer

"El Nino" was one of the most prolific footballers in the world before a certain £50 million move to Chelsea. While Torres may be inconsistent in front of goal since his move from Liverpool in 2011, he has certainly been the mark of dependability in another category throughout his career, diving. That's some seriously shameful shit right there. The Spanish forward has sensational flair in front of goal, and when he can't find the back of the net he makes up for it by going down faster than this guy. Seriously, it's always the look at the referee, like: "Come on, do you know who I am? You should have the yellow card ready every time I take a touch with the ball." Torres, you cheeky, cheeky bugger.

23. Alex Semin

Sport: Hockey

From throwing bones to taking the occasional puck to the face, hockey players are the epitome of a man's man. Usually. Then there's Alex Semin, who exhibited extreme softness with this slap happy display which made one announcer say he "wasn't a National Hockey League player". Ouch. We're sure Semin got over it, though. Nothing a good cry can't cure. Right, Alex?

22. Angel di Maria

Sport: Soccer

A relatively new star among an increasingly crowded galaxy of divers, cheats and crooks, Angel di Maria's rise to stardom with Real Madrid has coincided with his much improved acting skills since his move from Benfica in Portugal. Another winger? What is it about these guys? Di Maria's talents with the ball are almost equal to his ability to persuade referees into conceding free-kicks and brandishing yellow cards like they were going out of style.

He must have learned from his teammate Ronaldo, if you can't get around the man with skill alone, don't be afraid to take a tumble here and there along the way. Di Maria has created the art of almost literally riding a defender to the ground, whether there is a real challenge made or not. Whatever Dani Alves, something tells us you've been on the other end of this more than once in your career. Malo, malo!

21. Glen Davis

Sport: Basketball

So we know you probably don't expect a guy called "Big Baby" to go hard, but this guy is like amazingly soft. We won't talk about his pose with the '08 championship trophy, or the fact that he makes weird Internet videos. What's his ultimate soft moment? KG made him cry during a game after yelling at him. The prosecution rests.

20. Sidney Crosby

Sport: Hockey

Sid the Kid is one of the more talented hockey players in the NHL, if not the best, when healthy. The thing is, Crosby hasn't been healthy for a while. Every time he gets a concussion the Penguins sit him for months at a time. He's played in eleven games this season but we won't be surprised if he sits out again. Props to him for taking that puck to the face like a G, though.

19. Greg Ostertag

Sport: Basketball

He has a Fred Flinstone tattoo on his fucking calf; that's all that should really be said. Ostertag is a career bum that likes to talk shit. Those are the worst kinds of people. His shit talking earned him an open hand slap for the Diesel himself before the 1997 home opener between the Jazz and the Lakers.

18. Randy Moss

Sport: Football

Here's a curve ball for most casual sports fans, Randy Moss, arguably the second greatest wide out to ever lace them up is soft. S o f t. SofT with a capital T. How's he soft? We'll here's some things to marinate on: He goes over the middle as much as Tom Brady scrambles, he runs out of bounds any chance he gets, and whens the last time you saw him break a tackle? Mind you he's 6'4 and 210 pounds. Soft!

17. Cristiano Ronaldo

Sport: Soccer

Cristiano Ronaldo, who recently celebrated his 28th birthday, can run the flanks with the grace of a gazelle. Unfortunately, he also goes down easier under a challenge than Lindsey Lohan at happy hour. The Portuguese winger has amazing touch and can run with the ball at his feet like few to have ever played the game. In the same breath, he also epitomizes everything bad that everyone says about modern footballers. They dive, cheat, and look to gain every "advantage" possible from the referees.

Ronaldo is infamous for going down when the slightest breeze touches him, let alone a real challenge. The worst are his pleading looks to the official after rolling around on the pitch for a few. One of the most gifted to lace up a pair of boots, do us all a favor and at least try and stay on your feet.

16. Mark Sanchez

Sport: Football

Off the field, Mark Sanchez probably utilizes that softness to pull some of the hottest girls in the Tri-State area. But there is no place on the football field for that terrycloth-like behavior from Sanchez. Before, during, and after games, coaches are always treating the Jets quarterback with kid gloves in an effort to keep his emotions under control. Meanwhile, inside the white lines, Sanchize gets trucked by the asses of his own offensive lineman. And we didn't even begin to discuss the amount of Kleenex he probably used when he initially heard about Gang Green's acquisition of Tim Tebow. Don't be scurred.

15. Eddy Curry

Sport: Basketball

Curry has the body to be one of the most dominate big men to ever do it. Yes, ever. Homie checked out a long time ago. He has robbed every team he has played for blind. Dude is 7'0", 295 pounds plays zero defense and averaged five rebounds for his career. Five! That's it, we're done. Nothing more to see here.

14. Anderson Varejao

Sport: Basketball

"I'm not flopping anymore. I used to flop a little bit." That's what Anderson Varejao had to say after the NBA implemented its flopping rule. Really? Just a little bit? So, how do you explain holding down the top spot for charges taken per game with 1.21 in 2007 and still ranking in the top 20 last season at 0.48. Yeah, Anderson can bang with the best of them on the boards but when it comes down to it, dude knows when it's time to go back to his roots.

13. Keith Van Horn

Sport: Basketball

Things tougher than Keith Van Horn: The Octomom, learning how to tie your shoes, Jackie Christie, Simon Cowell critique, chewing a Now-or-Later...

12. Arjen Robben

Sport: Soccer

When Arjen Robben is healthy, which isn't that often lately, he has maybe the best left foot in Europe. His ability to run the flanks and cut inside for a shot or a pass can drive defenders absolutely bonkers. You know what else drives defenders bonkers? Arjen Robben flopping around on the pitch like a fish out of water after every "tackle", something the winger is equally as good at. The Dutchman has been cast as soft, and a flopper throughout his career, not that he can deny it. Just add Robben to the list of talented players that give footballers the perpetual "soft" label, that they just can't seem to shake. It's like flopping is in their DNA or something, it's become a true skill at this point.

11. Sergio Busquets

Sport: Soccer

While many players go down rather easy from a heavy tackle or lunging challenge, Sergio Busquets of Barcelona has created a dive all unto himself. Busquets has become famous for going down under the imaginary flailing elbow. Ironic that a tough-tackling midfielder, for arguably the best team of a generation in Barcelona, is one of the softest players in Europe. If diving is a disease, Sergio Busquets is terminal, and if the dude actually got hit in the face as many times as he would like us all to believe, he would certainly need some Amar'e Stoudemire goggles at this point, no? Por favor Sergio, por favor.

10. Vlade Divac

Sport: Basketball

We all know why Vlade's on this list, he originated the flop for a reason. He wanted no part in any tough contact down low, and heck, it worked. All-time crafty and all-time soft at the same damn time! Put him into the Hall for drastically changing the way the game was played. Flop tribute!

9. Frederic Weis

Sport: Basketball

This name might be unfamiliar to most of you, but you all remember this moment, so let it be the last thing you ever see or hear regarding him. P.S. He's 7-2.

8. Adam Morrison

Sport: Basketball

Crying in sports isn't as shunned as you might think. It's OK after winning or losing a title and heck Ray Lewis even kind of made it cool to cry to get hype for the game. Adam Morrison however did NOT follow the sports crying handbook the way he should have. Jordan's first draft pick with the Bobcats cried before the game was even over then proceeded to break down like he just found out Old Yeller died. So sad, so soft.

7. Sasha Vujacic

Sport: Basketball

Signs you're a soft NBA player: You touch your hair more than the ball, your tennis player GF goes harder than you, your teammates get this hype when you get an in-game dunk. Then again his parents probably didn't think he'd be an enforcer when they named him Sasha.

6. Jerome James

Sport: Basketball

Jerome James is eight-feet-tall and weighs 500 pounds. Okay, we're exaggerating a bit, but trust us; Jerome is a tree. So much so, that Isiah Thomas deemed it necessary to give this man millions of dollars based off of one playoff run where James averaged 12, seven, and two while playing with the Sonics. The 7'0", 300 pound center put up two points, 1.8 rebounds, and 0.4 blocks in four years and played a grand total of 90 games with the Knicks. Is it a surprise that he's out of the league?

5. Shawn Bradley

Sport: Basketball

Shawn Bradley has gotten dunked on more than your pops coffee cup. His frail physique didn't help matters and he was always crying to officials for fouls. Cats used to go out of there way to go straight at the 7'6" giant with much success. All in all we give him props for sticking in there and taking 14 years of abuse.

4. Alex Rodriguez

Sport: Baseball

A-Rod is more concerned about his looks and how he's perceived more than anything else. He hollers at hot blondes during playoff games (while losing!) and tries to sabotage plays while on the base paths. And what's softer than taking PEDs? He should take a page out of Jeter's book: Do it natural and never get caught up with a trashy chick.

3. Carl Pavano

Sport: Baseball

Carl Pavano stole $40 million dollars from the Yankees in 2004. During his four-year deal, Pavano made only 26 starts and stunk up the joint in most of them. He had injury after injury after injury, and even had the nerve to complain about the way the organization and the fans treated him. To add insult to injury, he recently ruptured his spleen while shoveling snow. We think he's made of paper mache.

2. Gareth Bale

Sport: Soccer

Gareth Bale's pace and technique, in addition to his finishing in front of goal, have made him one of the most talented players in England. The wingers' ability, or rather inability to stay on his feet, has also made him one of the most controversial. The dainty Welshman had been booked a Premier League leading four times already this season for simulation as of December. For all you non-soccer heads out there, simulation is when a player is deemed to have taken a dive in order to get a free-kick or land an opposing player a card for his challenge. And when it comes to the EPL perhaps there's no one better than Gareth Bale at deceiving referees into making a call. You're too good for these sort of shenanigans, fam. Stay on your feet, and for the love of God bring some respect to yourself and your Tottenham teammates.

1. Andrea Bargnani

Sport: Basketball

If you looked up "Soft European" in the imaginary NBA dictionary, you would see Andrea Bargnani attempting to avoid a charge from an oncoming dunk with a face of pure agony. Let's be honest, you don't have to be Alonzo Mourning to shed the old overseas finesse game MO, but Bargnani will undoubtedly have his career be partly defined by it. Andrea is like a bad Disney movie. He's shooting guard trapped in a power forward's body. You can't be the #1 overall pick and be this soft, you just can't.

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