Image via Complex Original
Karl Malone is arguably the greatest power forward in NBA history. The two-time MVP is second all-time in points scored and was one-half of one of the most successful duos of all-time. He's also a huge jackass. Malone has hit on teammates' wives, elbowed anyone who dared to enter the paint and choked in big moments, one of which was fatherhood. That's right, on top of being all those things, he's a deadbeat dad too. It took 17 years and a lawsuit to claim two of his three kids. The third one? Well, we'll make you wait for that one. To "celebrate" his 49th birthday, we present Karl Malone’s 10 Most Jackass Moments.
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10. His Wardrobe Choices
Date: Life
You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't keep the country out of the boy. From draft night to the photo above, Karl has been working hard at not giving a fuck. He wears cowboy boots like Jordans, he's never met a cowboy hat he didn't like, and he looks like the type to wear assless chaps around the crib. All he cares about is huntin' and gruntin'—for little Mexican girls, of course.
9. The Time He Leveled Steve Nash
Date: 2003
Steve Nash got what he deserved. Why is he trying to play defense? Malone clocked his annoying ass on purpose and didn't get ejected—go figure! This elbow turned Nash into a two-time MVP because he stopped playing D and put all of his focus on offense right after it. Malone never picks on anyone his own size.
8. His Crucial Free Throw Misses in the 1997 Finals
Date: 6/1/1997
During Game 1 of the 1997 NBA Finals vs. Chicago, Karl Malone had an opportunity to give his team the lead with 9.2 seconds left in an 82-82 ball game. Just before Malone stepped to the charity stripe his good friend Scottie Pippen psyched him out. Pippen said, "Just remember, the mailman doesn't deliver on Sundays, Karl." He was right. Malone, a career 73% FT shooter, missed both free throws and Michael Jordan came down and won the game at the buzzer.
7. His Battles with The Worm
Date: 6/14/1998
For as tough as Malone came across, Dennis Rodman always got the better of him. The Worm constantly got under the Mailman's skin in their back-to-back Finals meetings. The most notable altercation is featured above. Dennis tripped Malone three times in one sequence during Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals. Later in the game, MJ stole the ball from Malone during the last seconds of the game and the rest is history. He couldn't even catch a break in wrestling.
6. His Skechers Endorsement
Date: 2010
No one is recession-proof. Just ask these former ballers. We don't believe Karl rocks those atrocities for one second even with his questionable fashion sense. Can you imagine power lifting in the gym with Shape-Ups on? You deserve to get bullied and ridiculed. Kareem needs to chill too with his Skyhook shirt.
5. Saying He'd Choose Pippen Over Jordan
Date: 6/13/2012
While on the Dan Patrick Show promoting the Dream Team documentary, Malone was asked who he would like to play alongside that wasn't John Stockton. His answer? Scottie Pippen. Not Magic, not Bird, not Jordan, but Pippen.
Malone explains, "Do you remember the time that Michael retired? I watched Scottie Pippen when the Chicago Bulls weren't really good and Scottie led that team in every statistical category, and I just remembered that. Plus, he's a guy who could care less about scoring. He wants to stop the best player on the other team. That would have been pretty cool, to see Scottie guarding Michael." Scottie cares so much about not scoring that he refused to come out of a huddle because the last second play Phil Jackson drew up was for Toni Kukoc. Fuck it, we'll take Mike.
4. The 40-Stitch Lesson Given to Isiah Thomas
Date: 12/14/1991
Karl Malone has always loved throwing a good elbow. Many of the victims were smaller guys, leading us to assume that Malone's a bully. In this clip, he hits Zeke so hard you can almost hear the skin pop open. Thomas ended up needing forty stitches.
3. The Time He Hit on Kobe's Wife
Date: 11/24/2004
Back when Karl Malone was ring chasing with the Lakers, he allegedly made some questionable remarks to Kobe's wife. Vanessa Bryant reportedly asked Karl (who was in a cowboy get-up), "Hey cowboy, what are you hunting?" to which (the married) Malone replied, "I'm hunting little Mexican girls." But that wasn't all. Apparently that was after an (alleged) weird phone call in which Karl was accused of hitting on Bryant's wife. The exchange between the two soured the Mailman's relationship with Kobe. Classic Malone, always hitting on younger girls. #moreonthatlater
2. His Comments on Magic Johnson's HIV Status
Date: 1992
When Magic announced that he had the HIV virus in 1991, the basketball world was devastated. At the time, many NBA players felt the same way Malone did, but would never say it. Mind you, Karl played with Johnson on the Dream Team during the summer, but still had some issues with rumors of Magic making a return to the league.
The Mailman was quoted as saying, "Just because he came back doesn't mean nothing to me, I'm no fan, no cheerleader. It may be good for basketball, but you have to look far beyond that. You have a lot of young men who have a long life ahead of them. The Dream Team was a concept everybody loved. But now we're back to reality." Jackass swag on a million.
1. The Time(s) He Neglected His Children
Date: 1981-Present
When Karl Malone was 17 years old he had twins, Daryl and Cheryl Ford. He didn't claim them until 1998 when the tabloid The Globe ran a story about a couple paternity lawsuits involving Malone back in his hometown of Summerfield, Louisiana. The other paternity suit involved Demetress Bell. Malone fathered Bell when he was a 20-year old college sophomore. Nothing wrong with that, right? Except for Bell's mother being 13 at the time. In both cases Malone fought tooth and nail to not have to pay child support—it didn't work.
He has since maintained a relationship with the Ford twins and made it out to Cheryl's games once in awhile when she played in the WNBA. But he told Bell, who plays in the NFL for the Eagles, after he graduated high school that it was "too late" for him to be his father. Jackass swag on infinity.