Image via Complex Original
16.
Since its inception back in 1987, the Royal Rumble has garnered notoriety by becoming WWE’s most shocking and unpredictable event on its annual calendar. A 30-man battle royal consisting of superstars from the past, present, and future, the chaotic in-ring brawl remains the hands down fan-favorite amongst wrestling fans. Back in the day, it was common to stay glued to the TV and watch the likes of Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, and Stone Cold Steve Austin pull ironman performances and stand as the lone survivors who go on to main event Wrestlemania. Fast-forward to modern times and today’s audiences are more thrilled to see which surprise entrants walk through the gorilla position when the countdown clock hits zero.
The past several years have produced the shocking debuts and returns of some familiar faces: including Booker T, Diesel, Edge, Kharma (in her only WWE appearance), Mr. Perfect, and Y2J just to name a few. Social media's already been buzzing over the several wrestlers rumored for tonight's match such as a former WCW champion and WWE tag team legends. There's no telling who might show up, though it's quite evident CM Punk will be somewhere far beyond the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia training in the octagon. So just give it a rest at this point. He's gone!
But if the WWE's really trying to put on an extravaganza this year, then it clearly needs some of the following grapplers to make a cameo appearance. Cue the countdown clock as we list and rank the 15 Surprise Wrestlers We Want To See Enter the WWE Royal Rumble.
Alex Bracetti is a freelance writer for Complex Media and avid wrestling mark. Follow him @AlexBracetti
15.Perry Saturn
Dream scenario: Surfaces from the crowd with Moppy in-hand to put on a suplex clinic against several WWE jobbers.
Why him: Philly is ECW country, which means the match can only benefit from having an ECW original in the house. And we're not talking about the same old recyclables like Raven, RVD or Tommy Dreamer either. Time to give 1/2 of The Eliminators his just due. Word on the indie circuit is Perry Saturn still got it—standing out as one of the few older wrestling technicians that can still keep up with ECW’s brand of hardcore. Forget the tragic backstory filled with drug abuse and poverty. Tossing him a few jobbers like Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel to showcase his suplex prowess might just serve as a redemption song that echoes to the same tune as Mr. Perfect (2002) and Goldust’s (2012) phenomenal outings.
14.Jake "The Snake" Roberts
Dream scenario: Clears the ring by throwing Damien into the fracas, which then engages a stare down with Bray Wyatt as he spiderwalks across the mat.
Why him: Crippled, over the hill, and washed up. Those are the exact sentiments you share when discussing this WWE Hall of Famer. Fair enough. But you have to admire the man’s will to continue lobbying for a spot in the Royal Rumble. Jake the Snake's shown he can mesmerize without putting on great wrestling performances, while still putting over some of the best talents the business as ever seen (*cough* Steve Austin *cough*). Put the master of the DDT in a spot with someone like Wyatt, who’s already being dubbed the second coming of Roberts, and we’re set up for a Monday Night Raw segment that’s pure venomous rapture.
13.Darren Young
Dream scenario: Comes out suited up as Adam Rose's bunny to pummel and eliminate Titus O'Neil...while still in costume.
Why him: Considering his long absence from the WWE ring, you would swear WWE Darren Young was being given the Michael Sam treatment. Don't go there. The John Cena lookalike has been recovering from injury and gotten seriously ripped on his downtime. The openly gay star has some unfinished business to attend to, that being with former partner Titus O’Neil. Keeping Young’s repackaged look a secret till he tosses over O’Neil would generate the same pop Dean Malenko received when unmasking himself after pulling a fast one on Chris Jericho at Slamboree ’98. Simply put, the Rumble would serve as his official coming out party. No pun intended.
12.Scott Steiner
Dream scenario: A quick run-in consisting of several belly-to-belly suplexes on some of WWE's "brass ring" imposters.
Why him: Say what you will about Big Poppa Pump’s last run in the WWE being an epic bust. Politics and sabotage can damage even the greatest of champions. Despite Scott Steiner’s foremost animosity towards the Helmsley/McMahon regime, fact of the matter is we're still looking at 52-year-old genetic freak with the power to suplex even the biggest superstar out of their wrestling boots. Place the heavyweight in a three-way standoff against the likes of Big E and Ryback and see if dude doesn't have the crowd eating out the palm of his hand. Let us never forget: Big Poppa Pump is the hookup.
11.Jay "Black Machismo" Lethal
Dream scenario: Walk through the gorilla position in outlandishly sequined ring attire as Black Machismo and drop the patented Macho Man elbow on an NXT star.
Why him: WWE fans probably have no clue as to who in the hell is Jay Lethal. The Ring of Honor and former TNA champion remains one of best high-flyers in the biz. At one point during his TNA tenure he even adopted the gimmick of Black Machismo, which was an awesome imitation of the Macho Man character that culminated in Lethal reenacting the legend’s mannerisms, moves, and yes, fashion tastes. Seeing how Randy Savage is finally being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year, letting Lethal walk down the aisle as tribute to the late wrestling icon and hit the top ropes to perform an elbow drop on an NXT alum would tear the roof off.
10.Ken Shamrock
Dream scenario: Put a beating on another ex-shoot fighter and self-proclaimed tough guy who's currently wearing the Intercontinental belt.
Why him: A product of the UFC realm and Attitude Era, fans have long awaited the return of the “world’s most dangerous man.” The MMA legend has gone on the record stating his intentions for a full comeback to the squared circle. Well, sadly, the same political figures in office that continue to blacklist several old school WWE stars are preventing Shamrock from walking down the ramp. Damn shame too considering his incredible physique and wrestling capabilities at age 50. With the company’s massive interest in signing MMA fighters, only makes sense to bring the brawler back for a trial run. Besides, every Monday Night War mark would get a kick out of Shamrock putting on an MMA exhibition against a so-called tanker like Bad News Barrett.
9.Shelton Benjamin
Dream scenario: Called in by Vince McMahon to upstage the company's most athletically superior talents.
Why him: In case you forget, Shelton Benjamin is a supernaturally gifted athlete. An all-American heavyweight wrestler with numerous world champions on his resume, he’s cut from the same cloth as Kurt Angle. His range of athleticism can only be best described as breathtaking and smooth both inside and outside the ring. Hence is warranted ranking on this list. Vince McMahon made the comment about everyone not named John Cena lacking the ambition to reach out and grab the “brass ring.” Well, it all starts with putting on an incredible wrestling performance. And rest assured, Benjamin is a wrestling specimen with enough in-ring flair to make underused mat specialists like Cesaro, Jack Swagger, and Tyson Kidd look relevant in a match they’re not built to survive.
8.Sami Zayn
Dream scenario: High-flying his way through several superstars, therefore leading to a confrontation between another bearded fan-favorite.
Why him: It’s inevitable that an NXT talent gets called up to the main roster and enters this year’s Rumble match. WWE will use the event to catapult the career of its next mainstream star and no one is more deserving of the honor than current NXT champion, Sami Zayn. The kid is a natural with the charisma and wrestling skills to back it up, putting on high-caliber matches that have outperformed anything televised on RAW over the past year. Really want to get him over? Two words: Daniel Bryan. The two bearded grapplers share unique wrestling styles that compliment each other. A trade-off of kicks in the squared circle …to that we say YES! YES! YES!
7.Bubba Ray Dudley
Dream scenario: Walks down the ramp to a shower of ECW chants and puts Dean Ambrose through a table as payback for eliminating him.
Why him: We love the Dudleys. Truthfully speaking, nothing would thrill us more than to see Bubba Ray and Devon put Team Mizdow (Damien Sandow and The Miz) through a set of tables 3D-style. Call it a pure stroke of booking brilliance. But that's worthy of a match and not a Royal Rumble appearance. Doesn’t make much sense to give up two spots to a former tag team, especially when Bubba’s gone on to reinvent himself as one of the industry’s hottest heels since CM Punk. Dean Ambrose is a star that can benefit most from the tag-team specialist's return, especially since the bully’s bully has the smarts to build a marquee story for the maniacal brawler that the WWE writing staff can't seem to produce since breaking up The Shield.
6.Goldberg
Dream scenario: Being sandwiched between Rusev and Ryback, adding to the tension before spearing the shit out of both.
Why him: Ego kills careers. Look no further than Bill Goldberg for validation. The former world champion has molded some of the biggest stars of today with his freakish power and imposing look. Beef between he and the McMahons, more so Triple H, is what keeps Goldberg far away from a WWE ring. Though history has shown Vinnie Mac posses the power to welcome back even the bitterest wrestling souls. Time to bury the hatchet, cut the check, and place Ryback and Rusev on his “Who’s Next” hit list. Somebody gotta put a 1 in the loss column for the reigning unbeaten U.S. Champion at Wrestlemania 31. Not to mention put a poser in their place.
5.Colt Cabana
Dream scenario: Enter the Rumble at No. 1 wearing a hoodie and coming out to “Cult of Personality,” only to then reveal himself in-ring and dedicate a victory to bestie CM Punk.
Why him: Is there any better way to troll the WWE Universe? Oh course not. The company has a long way to go in righting its wrongs with Phil ‘CM Punk’ Brooks. Bringing in childhood chum and tryout regular Colt Cabana is a start. Dude has a notoriously comedic in-ring style that fits perfect for WWE's PG programming, along with solid mat skills and voice commentating. Leave the infamous Punk podcast in the past. Get this guy a microphone, let him shoot, and then feed him to Authority wolves Big Show and Kane, who respectively enter the ring at numbers 2 and 3.
4.The Undertaker
Dream scenario: Timer hits zero as the ring fills with fog and the lights go out, leaving the crowd in bewilderment with the infamous dong resonating all throughout the arena and he emerges from the dark to a sea of unconscious wrestlers.
Why him: Dead men tell no tales, unless of course you’re Mark Calaway aka The Undertaker. WWE is already reserving the near-25-year veteran to Wrestlemania duty for yet another year. But with Brock Lesnar breaking sports entertainment’s most coveted streak, and no signs of retirement on the way, the company’s longest-active wrestler seems poised to pen another chapter in his illustrious career. OK. Physically he seems pretty much done for and there's no way he's going to survive a hard bump to the floor. Still, there is some gas in the tank. A Bray Wyatt feud seems to be on the horizon going into Wrestlemania 31, making a nice confrontation between the two that ends in a Last Ride onto the announcers’ table must-watch TV.
3.John Morrison
Dream scenario: He and Kofi Kingston avoid elimination onto the floor simultaneously, forcing the two to apply their acrobatic wizardry to get back into the rumble.
Why him: The Shaman of Sexy has the look, swagger, and wrestling pedigree of a superstar. Yet somehow the WWE managed to ruin a good thing by burying the Tough Enough prodigy through poor booking. Morrison has proven to be a true showman capable of executing some of the most marveling ring acrobatics ever as previously witnessed with his parkour-inspired moment at the 2011 Royal Rumble. Kofi Kingston’s managed to steal his thunder over the past three years. Have the two improv their near-elimination escapes at the same time and see if Morrison doesn’t step up to steal the show, again!
2.Sting
Dream scenario: Coming down from the rafters at No. 30 to save Daniel Brian and Roman Reigns from being annihilated by The Authority, to then be eliminated by Triple H, who weasels his way into the match at No. 31.
Why him: Sting had what was arguably the most anticipated debut in professional wrestling ever when stepping through the curtains at the Survivor Series. No one has a clue what the details of his contract are. All that’s known is he continues to pull a Brock Lesnar and show up once every other month on television. Only difference is he’s yet to suit up for an actual match. It’s become quite obvious that the booking team is setting up a huge feud between him and Triple H going into Wrestlemania 31. The WWE universe is already growing tired of the wait. It’s time to unleash the man they call Sting. After seeing Seth Rollins fail to capture gold, expectations are for The Authority to implement Plan B, which will result in 'The Icon' stepping up to the plate at the Royal Rumble, bat glued in hand.
1.The Rock
Dream scenario: The Great One commences to layeth the smackdown on everyone and punch his ticket to Wrestlemania 31 vs. retaining champ Brock Lesnar.
Why him: Don’t front. It’s exactly what you’re thinking right at this very moment. What's really there to say about Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson? The man's battles with John Cena are documented classics that show his ring work to be nothing short of flawless. His physical conditioning is far superior to that of most the WWE roster. No one in the business can go out and put on a spectacle at the Royal Rumble like The People's Champ. Unless a beer-swilling redneck from Austin, TX shows up, and even lost faith at this point with that scenario. In the case WWE decides to keep the belt on Lesnar, the powers that be will do what’s financial best for business—banking off the drawing power of these two titans and booking an epic match set on the grandest stage of them all.