New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony (7) reacts after missing a shot at the final buzzer against the Phoenix Suns at Madison Square Garden.
The marriage between Carmelo Anthony and the Knicks, now in it's sixth year, is headed for divorce. You know it. I know it. The whole world knows it. But Anthony continues to maintain he wants to stick it out in New York—as long as the Knicks and team president Phil Jackson still want him around.
Melo can dance around the subject all he wants with the media on a daily basis but the writing has been on the wall for weeks now. We all know Jackson deep down would prefer the 32-year-old forward take his talents elsewhere. The only problem is Jackson is the one who gave Anthony one of only three no-trade clauses in the league back in 2014 when he wined and dined Anthony into re-signing with the Knicks.
Trading Carmelo before the Feb. 21 deadline might require a miracle from the Young Pope himself considering how much money Anthony is still owed, his aging body, and the fact that he has a 15 percent trade kicker in his contract. That didn't stop us from proposing a few juicy ones that we acknowledge have basically no shot at every happening. But a pair of Knicks fans can dream, right? It's all we can do to keep from crying.
So instead of calling them legitimate proposals, we'll refer to these ESPN Trade Machine approved deals as "alternative offers" for Carmelo Anthony's imminent departure from New York. Enjoy.
Melo for Love, Vol. 2.
Teams involved: Cavs, Pacers
Players involved: Paul George, Kevin Love
Wins lost by the Knicks: 1
Wins lost by the Pacers: 2
Wins lost by the Cavs: 2
I mean, this is a win-win-win for all parties involved. Paul George gets to play in a meaningful market, Melo gets to play with LeBron for a contender, and the Pacers never had a white player they didn’t like. — A.D.
Break up the Warriors.
Team involved: Warriors
Players involved: Steph Curry & Draymond Green
Wins gained Knicks: 2
Wins lost Warriors: 11
Why wouldn't the Warriors go for this? Draymond continually gets suspended for kicking guys in the junk and Curry isn't going to win the MVP for a third straight season so clearly he's washed at age 28. — A.C.
Boogie would look good in a Knicks jersey.
Team involved: Kings
Players involved: Joakim Noah, DeMarcus Cousins, Matt Barnes, Aaron Afflalo
Wins gained by the Knicks: 2
Wins lost by the Kings: 2
Knicks fans really make out with this one, shipping Carmelo and arguably the worst contract in the game, Joakim Noah, in the same trade for arguably the game's best center. Put Boogie at the 5 and Kristaps Porzingis at the 4 and you're looking at the most dynamic pair of twin towers in NBA history. — A.C.
Make Boston Great Again.
Team involved: Celtics
Players involved: Amir Johnson, Marcus Smart, Jae Crowder
Wins lost by the Knicks: 4
Wins gained by the Celtics: +2
Just make believe Amir Johnson and Marcus Smart are draft picks because the Trade Machine doesn’t let you trade for them. — A.D.
Banana Boat Buddies straight up for each other.
Team involved: Bulls
Players involved: Dwyane Wade
Wins gained by the Knicks: 0
Wins lost by the Bulls: 0
They're both miserable so why not? Anthony should have signed with the Bulls back in 2014 but foolishly was swayed by Phil Jackson to re-sign with the Knicks. Wade's finding that life, and basketball, in his native Chicago ain't all that it's cracked up to be with the Bulls floundering around .500. The shopping's way better in New York so you know DWade would be all for this. — A.C.
Problem solved in New York. As for Indiana...
Team involved: Pacers
Players involved: Paul George, Jeff Teague
Wins gained by the Knicks: 3
Wins lost by the Pacers: 8
George and Melo are almost a wash in this—almost—while the Knicks pick up Teague, an unrestricted free agent this summer, who they should push to sign to an extension so he can be their point guard after Derrick Rose is shown the door at the end of the season. Interestingly, Teague has a 10 percent trade kicker in his contract. The $64,000 question: would Indiana be good for Melo's brand? — A.C.
A two-headed monster at MSG.
Team involved: Pelicans
Players involved: Anthony Davis
Wins gained by the Knicks: 2
Wins lost by the Pelicans: 6
Who says no? The streets needed an AD x KP tandem yesterday. They’ll put David Robinson and Tim Duncan to shame. — A.D.
Do it for the Unicorn.
Team involved: Mavericks
Players involved: Dirk Nowitzki
Wins lost by the Knicks: 3
Wins gained by the Mavericks: 8
Two guys with no-trade clauses and at least a couple years left on their contracts. Imagine Dirk and Kristaps Porzingis on the same team. The Knicks NEED to make this happen. KP learning the nuances of the NBA under the tutelage of his basketball idol. They could get an apartment, cook fancy dinners, and commute to the Garden together. Imagine all the one-legged fadeaways. — A.C.
Why not the Lakers?
Team involved: Lakers
Players involved: Luol Deng, D'Angelo Russell
Wins lost by the Knicks: 8
Wins gained by the Lakers: 3
Rumors are Carmelo would potentially ok a trade to the Lakers since he has a house in Los Angeles. We know he'd prefer to go to the Clippers and ball with his boy CP3, but we're shipping him to the Lakers for Deng, for salary considerations, and D'Angelo Russell, the Knicks point guard of the future. Watching and listening to Phil try and initiate this conversation with the Lakers, where his former fiancée is still prominently employed and the team brass kind of dissed him when he was looking to get back into basketball a few years would be Curb Your Enthusiasm-level awkward. — A.C.
It's time for the Spurs to tank again.
Teams involved: Clippers, Spurs
Players involved: Kawhi Leonard, Blake Griffin, Alan Anderson, Brandon Bass
Wins gained by the Knicks: 9
Wins gained by the Clippers: 2
Wins lost by the Spurs: 13
This to me, is a no-brainer. The Spurs need change; they’re too bland, we need to spice things up a bit. What better way than to stir up some controversy? Also, Chris Paul and Melo can live out their banana boat fantasies, and Blake can go punch team employees in another state. I just want everybody to be happy. — A.D.