Image via Complex Original
All celebrities are annoying once in a while. It's natural. After all, they're people too, so sometimes they act like douche bags, only because they're rich and famous it's caught on camera for the world to see. Unfortunately, some celebs don't know their limits. They think it's acceptable to repeatedly act like fools until the rest of us have no choice but to send them to purgatory. And by purgatory we mean this list of The 25 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2012.
The stars we have gathered come from all sorts of backgrounds: They are singers, actors, athletes, and politicians. What they have in common is their pesky nature, their obnoxious behavior, and their status as permanent fixtures in the media. Luckily for them, this list is by no means permanent. They have all of 2013 to redeem themselves and become stand-up citizens—though we doubt they'll take the hint. Oh well, more for us to make fun of!
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Written by Valeriya Safronova (@vsaffron)
25. Ryan Lochte
Oh, Ryan Lochte. Many women say this and sigh as they gaze upon the Olympic swimmer's abs (he's often shirtless). The rest of us say it because he is a dolt who can't seem to help making himself a punch line.
At the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, Ryan Lochte was supposedly going to knock Michael Phelps off his pedestal and become America's new star swimmer. Lochte dressed like a d-bag and won a respectable two gold medals, two silver, and a bronze <<< Phelps won five golds and a silver and became the most decorated Olympian of all time, with 22 medals. Lochte looked like an ass for suggesting that he was currently better than his teammate.
Since then, the "Lochtenator" has made a series of moves that make us want to push him under water: He's appeared in suspect ads, trademarked a common phrase that he admits to jacking from a rapper (who wasn't even the first to use it), made a terrible, wooden, abs-out cameo on 90210, and expressed interest in becoming a reality TV star, which would ensure he ends up on a list like this.
Jeah seriously, bro, just go back under water and hold your breath for a while.
24. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
We are confident that Snooki is fully capable of making a list such as this one every single year. What has she been up to in 2012? Well, for starters, she had a baby. That's right. The drunk, orange, psycho-drama banshee you remember watching as she hit people, peed in the streets, and made a complete fool of herself in many, many other ways, has offspring. Go ahead, light a candle for the child.
Snooki also starred in Snooki & JWoww, a new reality show with her boobylicious sidekick Jennifer Farley. As if we haven't had enough spin-offs from the Jersey Shore and opportunities to hear all about Snooki's kooka. What this really means is that you'll get to learn a lot about what not to do as a parent when season two kicks off next year.
23. Scott Disick
The notorious man-child who can always be counted on to produce a litany of toolish comments has been up to a lot this year. He tried to open a restaurant but, as expected, failed after the place had been open for slightly over six months. We're not surprised because Scott having a job wouldn't make sense: he's too good at spending money to make it.
He also continued to be a douchey "partner" to Kourtney Kardashian as he was spotted all over a blonde woman while Kourtney watched the kids. Finally, he dropped $15K to impress Yeezy. We're sure they will make great brothers-in-law.
22. Jessica Simpson
Remember when Jessica Simpson was a singer? We don't either. That's because all we hear about is how pregnant Simpson is. Her first pregnancy seemed to drag on forever and ever, with constant Tweets and articles in the tabloids about her excitement, but it did finally end. Then, lo and behold, it turned out that Simpson was pregnant again! And she announced her excitement on the cover of a magazine, again! We get it, Jess, you're fertile. Now can we read about your clothing line some more? It seems like a winner.
21. Kristen Stewart
We don't want to get too deep into this, but yes, Kristen Stewart's perpetual sour face is bothersome. We understand that being misunderstood as an awkward young icon is tough. We assume that as annoying as we find Twilight, the movie/book series must be the bane of Kristen's existence by now.
Still, Kristen entered the franchise of her own free will. The books were already the nation's wet dream, so how did she not know what she was getting into? All we can say is, suck it up. Accept your life of riches and fame.
On top of her never-ending bad attitude, this year Kristen popped up all over news feeds for cheating on boyfriend and Twilight costar Robert Pattinson. We don't care about the adultery, but it just seems so stupid to us that a mega celebrity would get so damn up close and personal with her married director jumpoff on a public bridge. There are hotels, motels, abandoned lots, cars! Anything with windows and doors would have been a better idea.
Amateur.
20. Sarah Palin
Once Sarah Palin was released from the Alaskan wilderness to run for office with John McCain, it became extremely hard to shut her up. That happened years ago. Sadly for the public, her barrage of idiocy continues.
The most aggravating and uncalled for Palin comments of 2012? One has to be her criticism of the Obamas' Christmas card because of its emphasis on Bo, the family's dog, rather than on "family, faith, and freedom." What? Another great one: when she called out fellow Republicans for being "establishment cannibals." We have no idea what that means, but it sounds gross.
19. Tyra Banks
This year, Tyra Banks produced and judged the 19th cycle of America's Next Top Model. Just think over that number for a minute. Isn't that annoying enough? The show is a big fat lie. Most of the girls who win, hot though they may be, don't join the ranks of the world's top supermodels. They become those girls you see in Soho who once made it to Round 5 of Cycle 16 of ANTM.
With this season, though, it got worse. Nineteen was the college edition. Wanna know why? Because, as Tyra loves to point out, Tyra has a college degree. And not from just any college, but from Harvard Business School.
Except not really. What she has is a certificate from the school's extension program. But whatever, that's reason enough to have yet another season of a show that promises to deliver models, but really just shows a bunch of awkward and/or mean-spirited women either stuck in a house or performing mildly ridiculous tasks, like taking photos with actual garbage.
18. Dwight Howard
Dwight Howard is clearly a tease. The man loves his will-he-or-won't-he guessing games. At some point, whether he would or wouldn't stay with Orlando didn't interest us anymore. But the headlines continued and we had to keep reading. Like the date who smiles one second, then unceremoniously hails a cab the next, Dwight Howard toyed with us and his team until his coach and GM were both fired. And now he won't commit to the Lakers—the 17 championship-having Lakers! We hate getting played.
17. Taylor Swift
She's beautiful. She's tall. She has a pretty voice. And sometimes we sing along to her songs. But then we catch ourselves. And realize just how dumb the lyrics are: "I used to think that we were forever, ever, ever." Seriously? Did you guys, like, buy love necklaces too? And, like, swear to never, ever, ever break up? The crap Swift manages to string together kind of reminds us of an extremely self-indulgent therapy session.
Taylor Swift is 23. That is an age when most people learn to speak like adults and to conduct semi-mature relationships which last longer than two days and do not result in the most shallow and least self-reflective lyrics we ever want to hear from someone with a guitar. We don't know much about Taylor's love life. Oh wait, we do. So here's an educated guess: Every break up she has had was probably not caused solely by the dude.
16. Amanda Bynes
Amanda Bynes has so much potential to be badass. She's funny and hot, plus has always had a bit of a naughty side. Unfortunately, that naughty side has come out full-force over the last year, resulting in seven driving accidents in the span of six months. That's more than one per month. Get a chauffeur, Bynes! Or a car that maxes out at 15mph.
The worst part is Bynes's endless denial. Back in June, she Tweeted the Prez, saying "hey @BarackObama...I don't drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don't hit and run. The end." We all know there is nothing that the President prioritizes more than idiotic behavior on the part of former child stars.
There have been rumors that on top of all the horrendous driving, Bynes is behaving in other strange ways. She got kicked out of a cycling class at her gym, locked herself up in a dressing room for two hours, and told cops at the airport that she was in a no-parking zone because she had planned on traveling but changed her mind.
We really hope this woman doesn't ever decide to take up flying.
15. Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow seems like a harmless, likable enough guy in his personal life. But Jesus, enough about Jesus! We get it, he's religious. God speaks to him. Fine. Does God also tell him to announce that to everyone, everywhere, all the time? Is he one of his sheep or his megaphone?
But let's ignore the sanctimonious declarations. What gets our britches in a bunch about Tebow is that he's a constant topic of discussion despite being an entirely inept QB. He eked out some "miraculous" (lucky), ugly, last-minute wins last season with the Denver Broncos but still can't throw an accurate pass to save the life of a Third World orphan. Rex Ryan, his current coach with the New York Jets, knows this and has barely played him, even in the running-based Wildcat scheme, which Tebow now refuses to play in because he feels slighted. And that has stirred up endless debate.
It appears he's headed to his hometown of Jacksonville next season to play for the Jaguars. There will be even more debate over this non-factor, when really he should just give up the QB dream and go be the charismatic Republican politician he's meant to be.
14. Ramona Singer
If you don't know much about Ramona Singer, consider yourself blessed. This woman is a Pinot-guzzling little terror who has starred on Real Housewives of New York City since the first season. Almost every time she appears on-screen, Ramona declares to the world that she is a self-made, astoundingly talented, intelligent woman.
Unfortunately, time and time again Ramona exhibits behavior that marks her mental capabilities as sub-par and her social graces as nonexistent. She's rude, she's loud, she's ignorant, and she's obsessed with herself. Case in point: Ramona said that a difficult sacrifice she made during the recession was getting rid of her live-in maid. It's true—life is hard when you don't have someone cleaning up your shit 24/7. How do The Poors do it?
One thing Ramona doesn't seem to be is fake, which we can't say for some of reality TV's other grating stars. But most of the time, we really wish that she would put her real self away into a basement and pretend to be a halfway decent person.
13. Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj was not taking any shit from anyone this year. First there is her ongoing feud with fellow American Idol judge, Mariah Carey. The two have supposedly been at each other's throats since the first few days of shooting. Minaj threatened to "knock out" Carey (we can only assume with her thunderous rump-shaking) and also called Carey "her fucking highness," among other things.
As the Carey dispute unraveled, fellow judges Steven Tyler and Stevie Nicks joined the tussle, with Tyler saying that if Bob Dylan showed up to be judged by Minaj, she would send him to a cornfield. Minaj shot back that his comments were racist and Tyler soon apologized. Nicks, meanwhile, called Minaj a "little girl" and said she would have "strangled her" had she been in Carey's place. Tyler, Nicks, Carey—that's a wide variety of people that Minaj is getting into fights with. Life isn't so rosy at the top, huh?
12. Ashton Kutcher
Ashton Kutcher's behavior isn't aggressively annoying. It seems like it should be, considering his ridiculous acting and pranks, but at the end of the day, we have the sense that Kutcher is kind of like an endlessly yapping Yorkshire Terrier.
He means well. He's just a terrible actor, has incredibly obnoxious facial expressions, and keeps appearing on our television in dumb ads. His racist Popchips commercial is a perfect example of what we mean. As we watched it, we were slightly stunned by his lazy, stereotypical impression of an Indian man. Then we realized, Kutcher didn't mean to be racist. He really didn't. He was just trying to be funny, something he's not that good at. He didn't think about the consequences because he often just doesn't think at all.
11. Newt Gingrich
Just looking at Newt's face makes us cringe. It's as if every annoying comment he has made and every frustrating action he has taken is written across that Play-Doh face of his. It must all go back to the root of the problem: During Gingrich's tenure as the Speaker of the House of Representatives, he basically laid the foundation for the Tea Party. That's a party we wished the country had never been invited to.
Like other politicians on this list, Gingrich has a lot of douchey behavior to answer for. The most recent example is Gingrich's suggestion that the cause of the tragic Sandy Hook mass shooting is an "anti-religious, secular bureaucracy and secular judiciary." Like another man on this list, Gingrich forgets that our government is not supposed hold hands with religion. Gingrich is also one of the very few Republicans who stood by Todd Akin after the Congressman made his disgusting comments about rape. Fun couple!
10. Ryan Leslie
If you're enough of a douche to proclaim to the world that your laptop is worth $1 million, and some man in a country across the Atlantic returns said laptop to you unharmed, why make a bigger douche of yourself and not pay up? That seems to be the same question that a federal court could not answer earlier this month, forcing Ryan Leslie to pay his promised reward to Armin Augustein.
Well, Leslie didn't like that, so he burned a copy of the New York Post, which obviously had nothing to do with the decision, on the stage at his concert. It's all extra douchey because Leslie can watch that moment over and over again at his pleasure, since he has a guy who videotapes his every move, 24 hours a day.
9. Kim Kardashian
There's no denying that Kim Kardashian is smoking hot. She's also uptight, whiny, and spoiled. But we have known this for many years.
What has been getting on our nerves this year is the never-ending divorce proceedings that have followed her sham of a marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries. There was no better way for Kim to spark more speculation about how her entire personal life is staged for her TV show than to get divorced in 2011 from her athlete husband after 72 days, following a massive, pompous, insanely expensive wedding that produced more publicity than a small country. The divorce has gotten messy, and a resolution could not be reached, so while Kim has moved on with Kanye, she will be going to court in 2013 to finalize things (and get more publicity).
Oh, and did we mention that she compared her romantic situation to beating cancer?
8. Paul Ryan
There are so many reasons why Paul Ryan had to make it to this list. We will just review the top six:
One, Ryan forced his way into a volunteer soup kitchen with a camera crew to show off his "generosity." He then proceeded to wash dishes that were already clean. Two, he believes in personhood and supported legislation which could have effectively banned birth control. Three, he doesn't think global warming is real. Four, the photo above. Five, Ryan supported a bill that would allow doctors to refuse to provide an abortion to a woman on moral grounds, even if her life were at risk. Six, he insists that politics and religion must be mixed, which is in direct contradiction to the idea of separation between church and state.
Was there a bigger boost to Obama and Biden's campaign than this turkey being himself?
7. Christina Aguilera
Everything we have seen from Christina Aguilera in her role as a coach on The Voice drives us crazy. Her comments are useless. Her expressions of disgust are so blatant that they manage to distract us from Cee Lo's outfits. Her attempts to undermine other coaches are pathetic. Her responses to the performances of gorgeous women (Hey, Amanda Brown!) highlight her vast insecurities. And those alternating streaks of pink, purple, and rainbow in her hair! WTF! Back off the highlighter, lady. There's lots of gossip about Christina's diva-like antics on set. True, false, it doesn't matter. We've seen enough. Keep that genie in her bottle.
6. Gabriel Aubry
Any man who ruins Thanksgiving, especially while children are around, has to be on this list. And so we welcome Gabriel Aubry, who attacked Olivier Martinez, his baby mama Halle Berry's fiancé, on November 22 as he was dropping off his daughter Nahla. The story the police have settled on is that Aubry struck at Martinez twice before Martinez responded in self-defense. Use your words, not your fists, Aubry!
5. Chris Brown
Chris Brown is what happens when the mentality of a 5-year-old joins together with the body of an adult male. Breezy fucked up big time when he assaulted Rihanna, and his behavior over the last year is anything but remorseful or ashamed. Since he doesn't seem to comprehend how regret works, we have a short list of things NOT to do when you're trying to seem like a decent person:
1. Get in a nightclub brawl that injures innocent bystanders.
2. Tweet "HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY. Now! That's the ultimate FUCK OFF."
3. Tell off a woman on Twitter by demanding that she take out her teeth while giving you head.
Unfortunately, we're sure Chris Brown will find new ways to help us develop that list in 2013.
4. Lindsay Lohan
It's almost not even fun to be annoyed by Lindsay Lohan anymore. How much can we take of her reckless nonsense before it just stops being funny? She's been arrested countless times for everything from drunk driving and cocaine possession to skipping a court date to brawling.
Most recently, she changed her primary job description to "groupie for The Wanted" and assaulted a woman at Club Avenue for asking if she wanted her fortune read or something equally inane. Maybe all these things would not be so bad if LiLo made good movies. Unfortunately, Liz and Dick is just not cutting it.
The days of Parent Trap are long gone.
3. Todd Akin
There are a number of dodgy and stodgy politicians on this list, but Todd Akin is the worst of them all. In an August 19 television interview, when asked whether female rape victims who became pregnant should have the option of abortion, the Congressman responded that rape rarely leads to pregnancy and also implied that sometimes rape is all right ("If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting that down."). Excellent scientific assessment, Dr. Akin.
Worst of all, despite the public outcry, ridicule, and calls for him to drop out of his senate race, he merely said he'd misspoken and kept on campaigning like he hadn't just demeaned half of the population. Thankfully he caught a legitimate L in the election and had no way of shutting that down.
2. Ann Coulter
Ann Coulter is a perpetual moron. We don't know why anyone ever listens to her, but apparently, for some reason, people do, which has led her to become a New York Times bestselling author eight times.
Coulter loves to tackle the whole spectrum of offensive topics. For example, this year, Coulter wrote about how the O. J. Simpson trial was great for the black community because it "saved lives" and prevented juries in New York from not convicting black defendants. Right. Because in America, black people are not disproportionately persecuted and prosecuted.
Another fun fact about Coulter circa 2012: She called Obama "retard." Seriously? Even the kindergartner next door knows not to say that.
1. Donald Trump
There is nothing more irksome than a business magnate who thinks that his financial success can be easily parlayed into sound politics. Donald Trump is just that. Unfortunately, making money does not automatically equate to being capable of running a country.
Even if it did, Trump isn't exactly a shining beacon of success. The guy has declared bankruptcy more times than we have forgotten to pay our credit card bill. With such a glaring lack of credentials, Trump's persistent meddling in politics just makes us want to bang our heads against a wall.
And what's with his never-ending, racist demands for yet more proof of Obama's citizenship? Could it be that all the hate is coming from a place of fear? Is Trump hiding a secret? We always thought he didn't look like an American. Where is his birth certificate??! Where is the proof, people?? Quick, call a private investigator!