Zach Woods has dubbed Quentin Tarantino “the Megyn Kelly of guys who look like a turtle” following the filmmaker’s disparaging remarks about Paul Dano.
As you’ll recall, the Oscar-winning writer of Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained had some decidedly less-than-kind things to say about Dano during a recent appearance on Bret Easton Ellis’s podcast while laying out his picks for the top films of the century.
While Tarantino expressed admiration for Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood, ultimately naming it the fifth best of the century, he took umbrage with Dano’s performance in the film. He went so far as to call the widely acclaimed thespian “the weakest male actor in SAG” and “the limpest dick in the world,” among other non sequiturs.
Woods, an alum of both The Office and Silicon Valley, was among those quick to step up with some words of support for Dano. In his initial video, shared to Instagram and TikTok earlier this month, the actor and comedian joked that “us very weird-looking white boys have to stand up for each other.” He also offered some criticism of Tarantino’s style as a filmmaker, all while calling him a “little bitch.”
In a follow-up video, seen below, Woods doubled down extensively.
“Last week, I said some very harsh words about Quentin Tarantino,” Woods said in the video. “After talking to my agent, I realize I owe you an apology. Mr Tarantino, I’m literally just a nobody and you’re one of the masters of ripping off Asian directors, you bitch. You rip off everyone from Hong Kong auteurs to Bill Maher’s barber, and you look weird as shit. And that’s coming from a guy who looks like a bird had sex with another, more tired bird.”
Woods continued: “No one wants to see you in your own movies. The only movie I wanna see you in is Ring camera footage of you having a stroke in your own home. And when I say having a stroke, I don’t mean masturbating to one of your own Blu-Ray commentaries. You are so enamored by the sound of your own voice, you probably would fuck one of your own opinions if you could. And by fuck, I mean cum on its feet, obviously.”
From there, Woods called Tarantino both “a dingus” and “a legitimate statutory rape apologist,” emphasizing the latter by including a clip of the filmmaker defending Roman Polanski in a decades-old Howard Stern interview.
As of this writing, Dano himself hasn’t responded to Tarantino’s remarks.
