Jon Stewart Is Thankful for Donald Trump's "Projectile Vomit of D*ckishness"

Lucky for the Hulu-queuing portion of the world, Jon Stewart's path to retirement is paved with the daily fuckery of one Donald Trump. Who else in the Republican field of candidates can — within the span of a few weeks — emit the most ignorant thoughts on immigration imaginable, call in the FBI to protect him from the wrath of El Chapo, tweet a photo of Nazis, denounce John McCain's war hero status due to the technicality of being captured, and then place first in the party's polls?

Actually, let's be honest — Donald Trump is merely voicing the inner demons of dumbness which scream exponentially louder and louder with each presidential election. Trump's stupidity is scary, but he's just the window through which the Republican soul is viewed without the usual gloss of (profoundly minimal) decency. Of course, no one knows this better than Stewart — the soon-to-be-former host of The Daily Show.

Officially deeming Trump "Rant-Man," Stewart didn't so much take the increasingly ill-haired troll to task for his McCain comments (and ensuing refusal to apologize) as he did use Trump's presence to brilliantly highlight the deep-rooted misguidedness of the Republican party at large. "Trump is the patron saint of topical comedians who are just running out the clock," Stewart said during Monday's Daily Show broadcast. "But Trump has no control over the projectile vomit of dickishness that comes out of his mouth every time he opens it. It was inevitable some of his word puke was going to get on you."

Republicans: The Party With Donald Trump's Vomit All Over It.