John Oliver Offers Trump His Emmy in Exchange for Accepting Election Night Results

If voters secure a loss for Donald Trump in November, John Oliver is worried that any semblance of a concession speech may elude our divided nation. Trump, as Oliver explained on the latest Last Week Tonight, isn't exactly known for graceful defeats. But Oliver has a plan: a free Emmy to temporarily shut Trump up!

Referencing Trump's promise during the final presidential debate to keep Americans "in suspense" regarding a concession, Oliver asserted one of the most depressing aspects of this election cycle. Trump, it seems, is still treating the path to the White House like some sort of reality show. "What do you mean you’ll keep us in suspense?" Oliver said. "This is a presidential election, not an American Idol results show! 'I'll tell you whether or not my followers will plunge the country into anarchy after the break!'"

During the same debate, Trump was reminded by Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton that his oft-repeated claims of a "rigged" election system go all the way back to his Emmy failures. "Of course he wants an Emmy!" Oliver said. "It's a woman, it's gold, and it's proportionate to his tiny hands. It's basically Trump's ideal mate."

To give Trump the illusion of victory while he takes this L, Oliver is willing to give him the Emmy for Outstanding Variety Talk Series he won recently alongside the Last Week Tonight team. "You don't even have to take her furniture shopping!" Oliver joked, referencing the leaked Access Hollywood tape that ultimately cost Billy Bush his job. "Take the bet, Donald. Take the fucking bet!"