John Oliver's Take on 911 Is Pretty Terrifying

When placing a tedious 911 call, the very least the average person expects is to have a professional respond to their emergency with some semblance of urgency. However, as John Oliver noted in his 15-minute deep dive into the realities of the 911 machine on Sunday night, a prompt response is not always the most likely outcome. "Ubers can find you better than ambulances can," Oliver told his Last Week Tonight audience. Terrifying? You bet.

After astutely summarizing 911 as "that thing you call right after WebMD tells you you're not gonna be able to get it out on your own," Oliver explained just how dire the 911 situation is in some parts of the country. "We're so accustomed to relying on them, we even call when we don't have an emergency," Oliver said, sampling some of the 240 million 911 calls placed annually.

All top-shelf jokes aside, the average 911 call center's inability to always nail down someone's location is a very real—and sometimes fatal—problem. "Depending on where you live, [911 call centers] may also be underfunded, understaffed, and full of outdated technology," Oliver said. And just how many lives could potentially be saved each year by giving these call centers a proper tech update? According to Oliver, more than 10,000.

This daunting tech divide "is fine if you're describing a Radio Shack," Oliver added, "but is a little scary if you're calling a place that handles emergency situations." To curb the nation's collective enthusiasm for apparently unrealistic 911 expectations, Oliver then enlisted comedians Wendi McLendon-Covey and Rob Riggle for an honest AF Public Service Announcement that should strike fear (and laughs) in the hearts of us all.