Alright, Florida. Thanks to the Craigslist hookup cop from Ohio, you were given the day off on Thursday. Clearly thirsting for the public maintenance of your personal brand, you apparently made good use of the vacation. On Wednesday, 54-year-old Susan Marie Surrette was arrested for disorderly intoxication (the best kind), though the distinctly Floridian aspects of this story didn't reveal themselves until Thursday.
Surrette reportedly told John Hurley, the Broward County judge presiding over the case, that she wanted to show him injuries procured while in police custody. According to WKMG Local 6, Surrette says she was mishandled by police and jail personnel. After Hurley asks Surrette what she "does for work," Surrette says she's a hairdresser before immediately revealing her far more interesting career choice. "[I'm] Kayla Kupcakes," she tells Hurley. "I'm an escort too." Presumably in an effort to prove her officer-sustained injuries, Kayla Kupcakes then flashes the speechless judge.
A quick not-while-you're-at-work googling shows that Kayla Kupcakes is, in fact, an escort and porn star.
Welcome back, Florida.
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