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They don't have a signature dish. They don't have lots of celebs stopping by. The food isn't even very good. Some restaurants that should have long ago fallen victim to fickle trendoids and sky-high Manhattan rents, if not their own mediocrity, somehow, against all odds, are still standing. But these hardy survivors of the days when men wore fedoras and rents were affordable have endured because...well, why, exactly?
We've been taught to respect our elders, and a mediocre 60-year-old restaurant in Manhattan beats another Pinkberry, hands-down. Still, despite scraping up a solitary reason why people might actually stroll into one of these spots, we can't really understand why these places still exist. Are these restuarants old school...or just old? Your guess is as good as ours.
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Lanza's
Neighborhood: East Village
Address: 168 1st Ave.
Website: lanzasrestaurant.com
Why you should go: Because if you don't, a nail salon or bank will surely take Lanza's place when it closes.
It's great that an Italian restaurant has endured for close to 110 years in the East Village. Why this one was the survivor, we're not quite sure. It could be that the family who owned it also owns the building. It definitely isn't the food, which runs the gamut from OK to less-than-OK. The original tin ceiling is pretty cool, as is the stained glass on the facade, but is it worth a meal of mediocre Italian food to look at a ceiling? Somebody must think so.
Frankie & Johnnie's
Neighborhood: Midtown West
Address: 269 W. 45th St.
Website: frankieandjohnnies.com
Why you should go: The side dishes. Their steaks aren't great, but the kitchen still knows a thing or two about hash browns.
F & J was famed in its Mad Men-era heyday for its steaks and the tiny alcove bar where everyone from Sinatra to Nixon was known to tipple. The place still exists, but the life was sucked out of it long ago. The steaks are mediocre, the service haphazard, even the bar has been moved. And the ghosts of Ol' Blue Eyes and Tricky Dick have no doubt headed to happier climes.
Shun Lee Palace
Neighborhood: Midtown East
Address: 155 E. 55th St.
Website: shunleepalace.com
Why you should go: If you can afford it, the Chan-do Chicken and Grand Marnier Prawns are still MSG-laden chunks of fried deliciousness.
In 1971, Shun Lee was one of the first restaurants to bring Szechuan cuisine to Manhattan, in a room as elegant and upscale as any hoity-toity French eatery. More than 40 years later, when thrilling Chinese food is everywhere, the Shun Lee experience seems as old and tired as their Szechuan Pork, which will run you a cool $24.75. Time to get a new chef or lower the prices—maybe both?
Smith's Bar
Neighborhood: Hell's Kitchen
Address: 701 8th Ave.
Website: smithsbar.com
Why you should go: The awesome vintage neon sign is worth enduring the tourist and frat boy crowd, for a little while at least. It looks even cooler when a couple of tubes are burned out, which is usually the case.
Smith's opened in the '40s, back when Times Square was a pretty glamorous place. Not that Smith's has ever been glamorous—its look trends to the functional end of the spectrum. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Back in the day, it was a decent bar/burger joint for local rummies and theatergoers who couldn't afford a table at Sardi's. But nowadays, with its karaoke nights and pulled pork sliders, Smith's is competing with Applebee's and Chevy's in the soul-killing dining experience conetest. The sad news is, it seems to be winning.
Famous Oyster Bar
Neighborhood: Midtown West
Address: 842 7th Ave.
Website: N/A
Why you should go: The nautically-themed decor. Back in the day, all seafood restaurants sported replica ship decks, captain's steering wheels, and ocean murals—it was an unwritten law, and a very cool one at that.
The only thing this Oyster Bar shares with the (much) more famous one at Grand Central is the name. Which is a shame, because one taste of the sad fare here makes you wish they shared a chef. The Famous Oyster Bar dropped anchor at the corner of 54th and 7th back in 1959, and we sometimes get the feeling that some of their fish have been in the freezer since the day they opened.
Gene's Restaurant
Neighborhood: Greenwich Village
Address: 73 W. 11th St.
Website: genesnyc.com
Why you should go: Would-be time travelers are encouraged to sit at the bar, order a Manhattan, and transport themselves back to an era before NYU owned 90% of the Village.
Gene's has been serving up both French and Italian food (they call it "Continental Cuisine of Distinction") since 1919. Not many places serve herring marinated in sour cream or chicken livers Toscani anymore—and there's probably a good reason for it. The lone review reprinted on their website is from 1958; judging from their food nowadays, there's probably a good reason for that, too.
Isle Of Capri
Neighborhood: Upper East Side
Address: 1028 3rd Ave.
Website: isleofcapriny.com
Why you should go: The service is very friendly, and let's face it, it's hard to really screw up Chicken Parmagiana.
Carbone may try to recreate the classic red-sauce ristorante vibe for a new generation of hipsters, but Isle Of Capri has been kicking it old-school since 1955. Sure, the food isn't as good, and you have to schlep up to Bloomingdale's territory to check it out. But hey, at least you won't have to wait to get in. In fact, if you go there for a late-ish dinner, you might find yourself outnumbered by the charmingly obsequious wait staff. The place is huge, too, so you'll have room to spread out after inhaling thousands of calories worth of carbs.
2. Dan Tempura House
Neighborhood: Upper West Side
Address: 2018 Broadway.
Website: N/A
Why you should go: Because it's tough to find a Japanese restaurant that makes sukiyaki nowadays.
Dan has been churning out tempura, sukiyaki, and teriyaki since the mid '70s, when only the most adventurous gourmands would dare eat sushi. Tastes have evolved, and so has the neighborhood, which is why the awning now says "Japanese Restaurant" instead of "Tempura House." And yeah, of course they have sushi if you want it, but why would you want it here? If it doesn't leave a grease stain on your shirt, don't order it.
10. Heidelberg
Neighborhood: Yorkville
Address: 1648 2nd Ave.
Website: heidelbergrestaurant.com
Why you should go: The wait staff (most of whom look like they've worked there since the place opened) wears liederhosen. And, of course, there's the two liter "Beer in a Boot"—boot-shaped glass, that is.
During the Great Depression, Yorkville (as the East 80s east of Lex is sometimes known) was predominantly German, and by German, we mean German—the American wing of the Nazi Party was known to hold rallies on 86th St. In addition to a lot of scary folks, the neighborhood also had a lot of German restaurants. The sole survivor is the Heidelberg, which opened in 1936. The fare isn't so lousy that it should be prosecuted for food crimes, but schnitzel-n-sauerkraut fans can do a lot better.
Donohue's Steakhouse
Neighborhood: Upper East Side
Address: 845 Lexington Ave.
Website: N/A
Why you should go: Learn the secret of how Mad Men-era guys and dolls managed to survive those three-martini lunches—smaller glasses! Donohue's 3 oz. 'tinis are pretty good, too.
Open since 1950, Donohue's menu hasn't changed much since then; it's a living testimonial to how lame Manhattan's culinary scene was 60 years ago. Craving an individual can of sardines or London Broil? Donohue's has 'em both. The clientele is vintage, too. As the old joke goes, "the average age is deceased."