Image via Complex Original
Let's face it, Scotch whisky is an intimidating spirit. It doesn't go down easy like vodka, it doesn't go in fruity cocktails like rum, it's not a party drink like tequila, and it isn't smooth and sweet like bourbon. You don't gulp it down with your boys at the club—it's a drink for quiet contemplation. A drink to let others know you're not a kid anymore. But wait, what's the difference between a 10 year old Scotch and a 20 year old? A single malt and a blend? A Speyside whisky or an Islay malt? Here's where to find those answers, and more. And don't worry, even though drinking Scotch is serious, it's still fun.
RELATED: Scotch 101: How to Tell The Difference Between a Blend and a Single Malt
RELATED: 10 Things Every Guy Should Know About Scotch
RELATED: A Guide to Picking the Right Scotch by Region
11. Women Love Whisky Too
Listen, playboy, don't think that exploring the world of Scotch whisky means you're joining a boys-only club. Women are drinking more Scotch than ever. And they're not just drinking it, either. Ask Stephanie Macloed, Master Blender for Dewar's. Or Karen Fullerton, Brand Ambassador for Glenmorangie. Or Heather Greene, former Brand Ambassador for Glenfiddich who's now at the Flatiron Lounge, working as New York's first whisky sommelier. So the next time you're trying to impress a member of the opposite sex, ditch the mojitos and go for some swanky single malt instead. It's a classy move, and she'll respect you for it.
10. Join The Club
If you decide to get serious about your Scotch, join the mailing lists of your favorite scotch-centric liquor stores and tell them what you're interested in. You'll get a lot of recommendations and likely be privy to tastings before you buy. If you want to take it to the next level and have money to burn, join a whisky club. One of the best is the Single Malt Whisky Society of America (SMWSA). They select amazing whiskies from all over Scotland and bottle them without revealing any information about where they're from, how old they are, or anything else apart from tasting notes. The limited editions (generally 200-300 bottles, all taken from a single barrel) are only available to members, so you're not just broadening your Scotch horizons, you're also gaining a collector's item.
9. Scotch Isn't Just From Scotland Anymore
If you're talking about Scotch whisky, obviously you mean whisky from Scotland. But malt whisky—whisky made from malted barley, yeast, and water and then aged in wood (like Scotch) is made all over the world. Irish whiskey (note the different spelling) is made with unmalted barley and has a lighter, smoother flavor than most Scotches. The Japanese have been making some amazing malts for close to 100 years. Tasmania, of all places, has become a hotbed for Scotch-style whiskies. Even the Americans have gotten into the act with noteworthy brands like Corsair's Triple Smoke and Tuthilltown Spirits' Hudson Single Malt. Newbies should begin with the Scottish stuff, of course. Just know there's a whole world out there to explore.
8. There's No Wrong Way To Drink Scotch
You like your Macallan with Coke? Your Lagavulin with ice? Your Glenfarclas in a Scotch Sour? It's your money, and you should spend it however you like, regardless of the side glances you get from bartenders and whisky snobs. A great way to develop an appreciation for Scotch is to try it in cocktails. Two of the best are the Rob Roy (basically a Manhattan with Scotch instead of bourbon or rye) and the Blood & Sand (Scotch along with orange juice, sweet vermouth and cherry brandy). "Scotchtails" traditionally use blended whiskies, such as Johnnie Walker Red or Dewar's White Label. The subtleties of single malts can get obscured in cocktails, and, besides, they're much more expensive.
7. There's Drinking And Then There's Tasting
If you think you're going to take a glass of Glenlivet and then pound the stuff like it's the Cuervo Gold you take body shots with, you're either sorely deluded or a frat boy. Possibly both. The way to drink Scotch is to taste it, and do so using as many of your senses as possible. Hold the glass up to the light and look at the color. Swirl it around in the glass and take in the aroma, or the nose. When you sip, roll it around in your mouth for a while before swallowing and notice how the flavors evolve on the tongue. Taste the long, lingering finish that should ideally stay with you for minutes after you swallow. And then, if you've chosen well, hear yourself say "Aaaaahhhhh..."
6. Get Some Good Glassware
No matter how good your whisky, if you're drinking it out of a crappy plastic cup, it's not going to taste like the cream of the crop. Go invest in some good glassware—it'll last you the rest of your life, or at least until one of your drunken boys break them at your houseparties. There are dedicated whisky glasses, but if you're not sure how serious you want to get, wine glasses work fine too. You wouldn't put a dry-aged steak on a paper plate, would you? Respect the whisky. Respect yourself.
5. Water: It's Not (Just) For Wusses
Depending on your level of machismo, you may think that adding water to whisky is a total wuss move. And there are plenty of great whiskies that are eminently drinkable in a glass by their lonesome. But in fact most whiskies actually have water added during the bottling process to get the proof down to around 80-86 (or 40-43% alcohol). "Cask strength" bottlings, which don't have any added water, can be in excess of 60% alcohol. In such cases, a few drops of water really does help reveal flavors that would otherwise be hidden behind an alcoholic firewall (an ice cube has the same effect, while also affecting the flavor profile through temperature). In the end, it's up to you and what you prefer. At a bar, order your Scotch with a water back —you'll get a glass of H20 and free rein to add as much or as little water as you like.
4. Money Isn't Everything...Or Is It?
Scotch isn't like, say, vodka, where you can take some crappy hooch, stick it in a nice bottle, call it a "super-premium brand" and have would-be ballers quaffing it at the club thinking they're fancy. Most Scotch whisky distilleries are pretty old. They've been doing what they do for a long time. And they know how to price their whisky. So unlike almost every other facet of our economy, you generally get what you pay for—more skrilla buys you better whisky, especially when it comes to single malts. Not that there aren't bargains out there, but don't expect to get a good single malt for less than $40-50. And if you value quantity over quality, well, that's what that 1.75 liter plastic jug of 100 Pipers is there for.
3. Blends Vs. Single Malts
Once upon a time there was no such thing as single malt Scotch. In fact, the first one (Glenfiddich, if you're curious) didn't hit the U.S. market until the early '60s. What is a single malt? It's a whisky made entirely of barley malted (or cooked) at a single distillery. And until quite recently those single malts were bought up by blenders who would mix them into blends like Johnnie Walker or Dewar's or Cutty Sark, along with grain whisky, which is very light, kind of halfway between whisky and vodka. As a result, blends are smoother and lighter and better for beginners to start with. They're generally cheaper, too. Single malts, of course, run the gamut of flavors, and that distinctiveness is why whisky geeks and connoisseurs prefer them. Still, blends like Johnnie Walker Black and The Famous Grouse are pretty damn good in their own right.
2. Where's It From?
Whisky comes from several different regions in Scotland, and before you start going single-malt happy, you'd do well to learn a little about them. The two most distinctive regions are Speyside, where gentler, sweeter and generally more palatable whiskies, such as Glenlivet and the Balvenie (both excellent single malts for starters) come from. On the other end of the spectrum is Islay, a remote-even-for-Scotland nothern island where big smoky, peaty whiskies like Laphroaig and Ardbeg are made. Islay malts are big on flavor and can be challenging (and rewarding) for even the most die-hard Scotch fanatics. Newbies would do best to start with blends or Speyside malts and work their way through the Highlands and Lowlands before hitting Islay.
1. Age Ain't Nothing But a Number
A lot of whisky novices (and some self-professed "experts" as well) look at a whisky's age and think that the longer it's been aged, the better. And that, friends, is a lie. True, more time in the wood gives the spirit a deeper, richer, more complex flavor. But for every whisky, there is a time when aging it longer will do more harm than good. It's up to the guy in charge of tasting the stuff in the barrels (also known as the Malt Master) to figure out when the whisky is at its peak. For most, that's between about 10 and 18 years (blended whiskies don't generally have an age statement while single malts generally do). There are exceptions, of course, and there are some truly amazing 30, 40, even 50 year old bottlings out there. But if the Malt Master doesn't do his job just right, drinking a super-annuated whisky will feel feel like licking a piece of oak, minus the splinters.