Image via Complex Original
1.
If you were to rank the best 15 series of the last 15 years, Alias must land on that list. Some lost souls may challenge that, but over here at Complex, we're well aware. The world is getting ready to praise J.J. Abrams for coming through with the biggest blockbuster of the decade, which is cool and well deserved, but let's not forget where the man made his bones—on this super weird, quirky and ultimately extremely awesome spy show where magic and supernatural shit happened randomly too, starring Ben Affleck's wife back when she was Jennifer Garner, the badass femme fatale destined for super-stardom.
Any given episode of Alias might see black ops CIA agent Sydney Bristow in as many as three exotic locales or events or galas that called for extreme disguises. And even if the occasion didn't call for it, the show thrust one on Garner anyway. From the eye-grabbing red wig that populated the show's original promo push and onward, Sydney donned various disguises and accents so often it became one of the show's signatures, so much so that they re-purposed the theme song around it. And because we love Alias, we're bringing you a gallery comprised of Every. Single. Wig. If Syd did more than tie her hair up, or throw a bindi on, then it's in here. Fellow Alias fans, all 47 of you, rejoice at this pictorial nostalgia. And Alias Philistines—it's on Netlfix. Enough is enough, educate yourself with one of the best shows ever.
2.The Classic
Episode: Season 1, Episode 1
This is the first wig that comes to mind when someone asks you, a super fan, to compile a list of Sydney Bristow's wigs. It's the O.G., the pilot wig, the one that came with all the ads. It's impossible to forget.
3.The Sophisticated
Episode: Season 1, Episode 2
Is this a wig? Or did her stylist just use incredibly volumizing hairspray? Either way, she looks less girl-next-door Sydney Bristow, and more mistress-with-a-deadly-secret Sydney Bristow.
4.The Russian Maid
Episode: Season 1, Episode 3
This Iggy-Azalea-as-Russian-maid look works only if you don't actually think it will work.
5.The Pretty Woman
Episode: Season 1, Episode 4
Either she will kill you with pleasure or pain, and either way, it isn't a bad way to go.
6.The Christina Hendricks
Episode: Season 1, Episode 3
Sydney Bristow rocked Joan Holloway before Joan Holloway was even a thought. This must be the default look of a queen.
7.The Hippie
Episode: Season 1, Episode 4
You'll either avoid her Greenpeace petition or speedwalk past her homemade incense booth at the farmer's market.
8.The '90s Love Interest
Episode: Season 1, Episode 5
Sydney Bristow stars alongside Freddie Prinze Jr. in The Best Friend You Never Paid Attention to Who Got Super Hot One Summer.
9.The Alice
Episode: Season 1, Episode 5
That awkward moment when you have inappropriate thoughts about Alice in Wonderland.
10.The Killer
Episode: Season 1, Episode 6
Functional halter dress, jet black hair, guns of steel—we'd suggest preparing for this date with a jock strap.
11.The Black Widow
Episode: Season 1, Episode 8
Scarlett Johansson did it better.
12.The Sidekick
Episode: Season 1, Episode 9
The harsh black bangs coupled with the dress that accentuates her shoulder muscles make her look like the right-hand woman to a mob boss.
13.The Real Housewife
Episode: Season 1, Episode 10
This has got to be the most convincing, mostly because Sydney Bristow isn't the type of girl who looks like she enjoys polo matches and complaining to hotel staff about her turndown service.
14.The Fifth Element
Episode: Season 1, Episode 11
This is how movies in the '80s used to dress people they imagined in the future. Which, nope.
15.The Baywatch
Episode: Season 1, Episode 15
Ask your mom where this still is from. She will probably guess Miami Vice.
16.The Mom
Episode: Season 1, Episode 17
Jamie Lee Curtis, is that you?
17.The Marilyn
Episode: Season 1, Episode 18
But not the biopic kind; the Hollywood Boulevard impersonator kind.
18.The Alan Cumming
Episode: Season 1, Episode 21
Burlesque Bristow is just too overwhelming for the senses.
19.The Raver
Episode: Season 1, Episode 22
This is the face of someone who had the worst time at EDC.
20.The Blind Side
Episode: Season 2, Episode 1
It looks like she's super upset that her junior league said something racist.
21.The Stepmom
Episode: Season 2, Episode 2
Meet your dad's midlife crisis girlfriend.
22.The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Episode: Season 2, Episode 2
The wig screams that she's got an AK under coat.
23.The Mary Kay Rep
Episode: Season 2, Episode 3
The wig makes her look as harmless as a door-to-door salesman in the middle of Nebraska.
24.The Spy
Episode: Season 2, Episode 4
Considering how campy her whole outfit looks, this has to be a scene cut from Austin Powers.
25.The Nerdy Professor
Episode: Season 2, Episode 5
But the kind that would probably turn into an evil seductive alien a la The Faculty. We're not fooled.
26.The Geisha
Episode: Season 2, Episode 7
Is this racist?
27.The Mall Rat
Episode: Season 2, Episode 8
The only thing she looks like she can kill here are J.Crew sales. Unsuspecting at its best.
28.The Mystery Date
Episode: Season 2, Episode 10
A wig like this with a dress like that and a date who looks way under your league just screams attention. Let's be real.
29.The Your Mom Who Mysteriously Switched Bodies With Her Child
Episode: Season 2, Episode 11
Has she seen Freaky Friday? Or 17 Again? Too much, too much.
30.The Cartoon
Episode: Season 2, Episode 12
Undercover or in cosplay? We're leaning toward the latter.
31.The 'Daredevil' Audition
Episode: Season 2, Episode 13
The best disguise is one that leaves people basically braindead.
32.The Sia
Episode: Season 2, Episode 14
Except you can see her face, so shut it down! Shut it down!
33.The Bag of Skin
Episode: Season 2, Episode 16
Old lady disguises are the worst. It's so obvious it's a cover-up and its ridiculousness is unforgettable.
34.The Regina George
Episode: Season 2, Episode 19
You're too distracted worshipping her to realize she's a phony. Nice play.
35.The Shania Twain
Episode: Season 2, Episode 19
If you've got the hat, you might as well commit to the look with big hair, too.
36.The Reluctant Swinger
Episode: Season 2, Episode 21
Ok, this is pretty much Basic Sydney forced into what looks like the most uncomfortable disguise of her life.
37.The Fatal Attraction
Episode: Season 2, Episode 22
Yeah, ok, who wouldn't fall for this?
38.The Femme Fatale
Episode: Season 3, Episode 1
Bristow looks straight out of a Tarantino film with this campy do.
39.The Edith Head
Episode: Season 3, Episode 2
Bristow disappears into the famous costume designer.
40.The Elektra Natchios
Episode: Season 3, Episode 4
Darker touch with the same do, but still leaves you too stupid in love to realize the con.
41.The Crazy
Episode: Season 3, Episode 5
If you're gonna do that, why even put on a wig?!
42.The Obvious
Episode: Season 3, Episode 6
Because it basically looks like a light breeze could blow it off her head.
43.The Bratz Doll
Episode: Season 3, Episode 10
She probably got this wig at Hot Topic, which explains everything.
44.The White People Problems
Episode: Season 3, Episode 11
This would be Sydney if she never became a spy: upset at the final episode of Parenthood. (We've seen The Americans; we know the best disguise is suburban soccer mom.)
45.The Nerd Bob
Episode: Season 3, Episode 14
If only all geniuses looked like Jennifer Garner.
46.The Gervais Disguise
Episode: Season 3, Episode 15
How does one fool special guest star (as a bad guy!) Ricky Gervais? You go with the classic, time-tested, Alias-approved-red, of course.
47.The Frizzy Couture Designer
Episode: Season 3, Episode 17
A little extra frizz goes a long way towards bamboozling the Thirsty Old Gala Guy of the week's thirsty mark.
48.The Goth Punk Redux
Episode: Season 3, Episode 18
Syd and Vaughn in punk steez always gives us trauma flashbacks to that time fam almost didn't make it way back in Season 1.
49.The Mia Wallace
Episode: Season 3, Episode 19
But even more gangster, the way Syd wields those uzis.
50.The Business Casual
Episode: Season 3, Episode 22
Because when one visits a luxe German bank, you must look the part.
51.The Claire Underwood
Episode: Season 4, Episode 1
Syd's playing the the pretty, naive blonde here, which is both the anti-Claire Underwood (and of course predates her) but tell me that's not a dead ringer for Robin Wright's bottle blonde at first glance. (And to answer your question, in a battle of the wits it's Sydney Bristow >>> Claire Underwood all day.)
52.The Jersey Trophy Wife
Episode: Season 4, Episode 3
The Real Housewives of the CIA.
53.The Damsel in Distress
Episode: Season 4, Episode 3
Wow look at Alias commenting on and subverting the typical gender-biased concept of damsels in distress by having Syd go blonde to play a woman in dire need of help from a man. Guess who's deadlier, though.
54.The Gothic Aristocrat
Episode: Season 4, Episode 6
All you'd need is Vaughn dressed as a pasty-faced Lestat for this to have been the best disguise across the series hands down.
55.The Lauren Reed
Episode: Season 4, Episode 9
In which Sydney impersonates her boyfriend Vaughn's dead ex-wife. That he killed. Bring on the couples' therapy.
56.The French Femme
Episode: Season 4, Episode 11
Slickback game super strong.
57.The Elegant Groupie
Episode: Season 4, Episode 12
We need an infographic on how many rich old men with boring jobs have fallen victim to Ms. Bristow's flawless charm.
58.The Courteney Cox
Episode: Season 4, Episode 13
Bristow's just look any other girl in the late '90s and early aughts, chasing Friends stars' hairstyles.
59.The German Beer Maiden
Episode: Season 4, Episode 14
As great as the inventive disguises are, it's always fun when they just go with a full-on flawless classic.
60.More Red Hair
Episode: Season 4, Episode 18
Who, among the hair and make-up team, had such a hard-on for Jennifer Garner in bottle-red wigs? Not that we're complaining, just wondering.
61.The One-Percenter Diva
Episode: Season 4, Episode 20
Swagger on a hundred, thousand, trillion.
62.The Club Basic™
Episode: Season 4, Episode 21
Because dressing up as a plain Basic counts as a disguise for a woman like Sydney. (Vaughn, on the other hand, not as much of a stretch.)
63.The Garden Party Couple
Episode: Season 5, Episode 1
The more serious Syd and Vaughn's relationships get, the more mature the disguise. Every couple grows out of their goth punk club phase sooner or later.
64.The '70s Look
Episode: Season 5, Episode 2
Not quite sure why Sydney had to come through a generic London bar styled like a '70s-era Mad Men secretary but, whatever works.
65.The Loud Mama
Episode: Season 5, Episode 4
Never one to shy away from a challenge, Alias wrote Jennifer Garner's pregnancy in to make even more fun disguises, like the obnoxious gambler who rubs her belly every time she wins big.
66.The Hitchcockian Blonde
Episode: Season 5, Episode 7
Syd comes through the spot looking like Grace Kelly, only to still get recognized as herself by an old college professor.
67.The 100th Episode
Episode: Season 5, Episode 12
Back in the old days when the majority of TV shows produced upwards of 20 or so episodes a season, when a series would reach 100 it was treated as an event episode the way premieres or finales are, and usually with a plot that moved the current story forward while including nods and winks to the longtime fans. Which is to say, of course Alias' 100th ep would put Sydney back in a red wig. It's only right.
68.The Country Saleswoman
Episode: Season 5, Episode 13
And here we have it. With four hours left to go, Alias had more concerns than putting Syd in zany wigs and disguises. Her final, true "alias" is as this country-charm perfume hocking saleswoman. Kind of anticlimactic but, we'd rather say that about the disguise game than the series itself.