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In terms of the domestic hierarchy, both mother and father should know best; in the case of parents on reality TV shows, however, that's not always the case. Sure, not all small-screen parents exemplify what it means to be unfit guardians, but a sad amount do. And because they've chosen to reveal everything about themselves on national television in the pursuit of Kardashian-like levels of fame, that gives us the unabashed right to judge the hell out of them. Inspired by tonight's second season premiere of Lifetime's cringe-worthy series Dance Moms, at 9pm EST, here are our picks for the 10 Worst Parents On Reality TV, because, admittedly, judging their lives makes us feel better about watching these shows in the first place.
Written by Tanya Ghahremani (@tanyaghahremani)
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Dina Lohan
10. Dina Lohan (Living Lohan, E!, 2008)
It may be difficult to remember, or you might have even blocked it out, but Dina Lohan once had a reality show. The series was called Living Lohan, and it centered on Dina and Lindsay’s little sister, Ali. Unlike ratings juggernaut Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Living Lohan was greeted with hilariously awful reviews and, even worse, put a literal spotlight on Mama Lohan's inability to raise any well-adjusted children.
Though Lindsay Lohan is the actual "celebrity" in the family, it often seems that Dina is attempting to ride on the coattails of her daughter's success because she never had it herself when she was younger. Clubbing with her daughter, attending red carpet events, starring in her own reality show—all register as attempts to vicariously live the Hollywood dream instead of parenting.
That, coupled with her insistence to have Ali enter the business, as well, even after she saw what it did to Lindsay, won't earn her any mother-of-the-year accolades. There is justice, though: Living Lohan only aired for two months before it was yanked off the schedule for, we'd like to think, being too annoying.
Paula "Lacey" Thebert
9. Paula "Lacey" Thebert (True Life, MTV, 2011)
Paula Thebert’s parental fails—or, rather, Lacey’s, as that’s what she likes to be called—were all showcased in a single episode of MTV’s True Life, appropriately titled “I Have a Hot Mom.”
In this specific episode of MTV's mini-documentary series, we meet Lacey and her 15-year-old daughter, Tori, who’s quite pissed off that her mother can’t stop spilling out of her top and flirting with every male in a ten-mile radius for five minutes. She just wants a mother who’ll, you know, act like a mother from time to time instead of trying to snatch the spotlight for herself, as she tends to do even when they go shopping together on what’s supposed to be “their” day.
Lacey, being the wonderful mother she is, legitimately doesn't seem to understand this, and refuses to even put her Facebook page on private when Tori complains that her male friends won't stop gawking at her page. Lacey, or Paula, or whoever, seems to have a troubling obsession with surgery and fame-whoring that gets in the way of actually being a parent; it's actually very impressive that Tori turned out as level-headed as she seems she to be in the episode. Sometimes, miracles do happen.
Lori Matthews
8. Lori Matthews (Toddlers & Tiaras, TLC, 2011)
The various stage moms on Toddlers & Tiaras tend to share one constant: Despite how much they push their children, the women truly believe that their kids are good enough to win whatever silly pageant they enter them in.
Lori Matthews, however, does not share that sentiment with both of her children. She rants and raves that her son, Braxton, is a shoe-in to win any pageant imaginable ("The only way I could see him not winning this pageant is if he fell over dead"), but when it comes to her daughter, Alaska, she's significantly less rant-y and rave-y. "We'll see how [Alaska] does," she says, "and, hopefully, she accepts defeat or, you know, failure, with a smile on her face." It's always great to know your parent thinks you have the potential to be a gracious loser.
Stephen Fowler & Renee Stephens
7. Stephen Fowler & Renee Stephens (Wife Swap, 2009)
Alongside his wife, Renee Stephens, Stephen Fowler actually looks like the worse offender, yet both parents undoubtedly share the blame in their fail-methods of raising their kids (which you should definitely view here).
Renee freely admits that she doesn't spend much time with her kids because she needs the time away for her own sanity—always a great thing when a kid is aware that their mom can't spend too much time around them or else she'll go insane. Secondly, Stephen seems to have completely forgotten where he lives, because he mainly spends all of his time insulting the U.S. and telling his kids that he should be pushing them harder because they're not good enough. Yes, we know, you're from London, bro—we can tell from the accent. There's no need to repeat it every two seconds, accompanied by a snicker about how awful the United States are.
When it comes to their children, the two parents are strict as hell. At one point, when one of their sons fails to complete several math problems before bed, Stephen goes into his room, wakes him up, and gripes about how perhaps he's not pushing him hard enough before dragging him out of bed to finish his homework. And, yes, Renee allows all of this to happen. Someday, that kid is going to write a best-selling memoir about all of this.
Kris Jenner
6. Kris Jenner (Keeping Up With The Kardashians, E!, 2007-Present)
For all intents and purposes, Kris Jenner is more of a manager than a mother to her kids. Though something is obviously working because no one will shut up about this family, it seems that Kris runs her family in the fashion one would a business : everything is a party, promotion, business opportunity or new episode of one of their ten shows.
While this is great for someone whose sole job it is to manage a group of celebrities, this isn't great or someone whose job it is to be a parent. Often times, she seems more concerned with closing new deals to further her and her family's collective careers than in ensuring that her two youngest, not-famous-yet daughters are adjusting well to being teenagers in Hollywood. Or, at least making sure Kim doesn't marry anyone else for less than six months.
Jon & Kate Gosselin
5. Jon & Kate Gosselin (Jon & Kate Plus 8, TLC, 2007-2010)
Jon and Kate Gosselin are perhaps the most obvious couple on this list. Jon & Kate Plus 8, their obnoxious TLC series, attempted to portray them as great parents just trying to keep an environment of controlled chaos while raising their whopping eight children, yet their split, as portrayed in the tabloids, proved all of that to just be editing magic. The two were vicious towards one another even when they weren't face to face; we can imagine that Jon probably had an editor from US Weekly on speed dial, after a rep from Ed Hardy. Throughout it all, though, neither one of them showed any regard for how the situation might affect their children.
Their descent into fame's depths ultimately destroyed their marriage, all at the expense of their kids. Additionally, when Jon & Kate Plus 8 was cancelled in 2010, Kate desperately tried to work the tabloids in an effort to sway some network exec to give her a new show so that she could maintain her lifestyle, instead of searching for another job that's more legit and stable enough to support her kids. Hollywood really can infect one's brain.
Amber Portwood
4. Amber Portwood (Teen Mom, MTV, 2009-Present)
Amber is probably the most well known of the Teen Mom crowd, though it's not exactly in a positive way. Not only is she often verbally and physically abusive towards her baby's daddy, but she does so when her child is in the room.
People who end up involved in domestic abuse when they're older more often than not grew up in an environment where it existed. By subjecting her child, no matter how young, to her fits of rage, Amber is both teaching him the completely wrong lessons about conflict resolution and emotionally scarring the little man. Add that to the fact that this is all portrayed on a reality show, and we're left wondering if perhaps her continued presence on Teen Mom crosses the line between entertainment and decency. Answer: Yes, it does.
Karen Gravano
3. Karen Gravano (Mob Wives, VH1, 2011-Present)
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that Mob Wives co-star Karen Gravano has a daughter. Seriously, what with all the smackdowns and beatdowns, when does she actually have time to raise a child? Well, that part isn’t the real problem, since Karen is normally in Staten Island filming the show and “writing her book” while Karina, her daughter, is in Arizona being raised by her father.
Karen is by no means one of the worst parents on this list, yet the fact that she’s left her child in another state while she spends all of her time in Staten Island mostly complaining about Drita, her friend turned mortal enemy, doesn’t speak too well about her skills as a parent.
Think about the example she's setting for her daughter: If someone talks shit about you, the only way to deal with it is through causing more chaos. Not to mention, always settle nonexistent scores with people because you hears that they’re “talking shit” about you. It's ime for a reality check, Karen, because high school has been over for a long time.
Cathy Stein
2. Cathy Stein (Dance Moms, 2011)
On a show like Dance Moms, it’s hard to find parental figures who fit the bill of being “good." That’s pretty much what the whole show is founded upon: gawking at unfit parents to make us more appreciative of our own. No one actually thought it was about the dancing, right?
That said, it takes a lot of be considered the worst of the worst, but Cathy Stein undoubtedly takes the cake. The most painful-to-watch offense: She pressures her young daughter to dance even though the little girl verbally expresses that she does not want to; at one point, Stein's daughter admits that she’s only at dance class because her mom promised she’d buy her tacos.
And here's the kicker: Stein's loathsome methods include threatening to slit her own wrists if her daughter tells her that she wants to play softball. Not exactly the right message to send to your impressionable kid.
Jenelle Evans
1. Jenelle Evans (Teen Mom 2, MTV, 2011-Present)
Children are undoubtedly molded by their surroundings, so it's extremely important to make sure that they're nice and stable from the beginning. Unfortunately, Teen Mom 2 wouldn't be an MTV series without a few totally unstable people, one of which is, without doubt, Jenelle Evans.
Evans is only 20, but she's already had a child, been arrested for fighting in public on one occasion and for possession of drug paraphernalia on another, failed a court-mandated drug test during her probation, and can't seem to stop going back to her deadbeat ex who, believe it or not, is worse than she is. Her portfolio of inefficiencies is stacked.