The Weirdest Strip Club Laws

As it turns out, "making it rain" can actually be illegal.

Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

Strip clubs have to operate under the same laws that regulate commerce and public behavior in their locations, but they are also subject to highly specific regulation that only affects them. There are some laws so odd that you might wonder what conceivable purpose the passing legislative body had in mind. Be it simply a local government trying to prevent the spread of what they see as undesirable businesses or a state supreme court using the broadest possible definition of "speech," these laws and practices will leave you pondering their consequences, intended and otherwise.

Written by Susan Shepard (@SusanElizabeth), a career stripper who hopes her boss doesn't find out about her writing work.

10. Seal It

Dancers in Williams County, N.D. are required to cover their nipples—but only their nipples, and not the areolas-with a "sealed covering" of latex, fabric paint, or nail polish thanks to an arcane law that posits that any woman of childbearing age could leak breast milk on a patron, posing a health hazard.

9. You Can't Get A Lap Dance Here For Anything

The nation's capital will allow dancers to get completely nude in alcohol-serving clubs, but you can't have so much as a table-top dance as they're restricted to dancing on stages and stages only.

7. New York's 60/40 Split

A legacy of Giuliani-era New York, the 60/40 rule forces any adult business to devote no more than 40% of its square footage to adult entertainment, meaning that strip clubs must fill the other 60% with non-adult business endeavors. This is part of why the Penthouse Executive Club has Robert's Steakhouse and New York Dolls has a bikini bar front lounge.

6. There Are No Rules In The Beaver State

Thanks to Oregon's Supreme Court, the state has some of the most liberal strip club laws in the country. Up until a few years ago, the state's liquor control board imposed strict regulations on Oregon's full-nude, full-liquor bars, but since a 2005 decision, the clubs are essentially unregulated. Live sex shows are technically legal, as long as there's no prostitution.

5. Nametags Required

Harris County, Texas requires that everyone working in a strip club wear on their person at all times their Class II S.O.B. (Sexually Oriented Business) permits. If all you're wearing is a smile and a pair of heels, that has to be tough to pull off.

4. Don't Touch That Stripper—Unless She's Family

In 2007, Ohio enacted exceptionally strict laws, requiring pasties in all clubs and outlawing nude clubs, even those without alcohol. It goes without saying that contact between dancers and patrons is forbidden, but the language of the legislation—"No patron who is not a member of the employee's immediate family shall knowingly touch any employee while that employee is nude or seminude"—makes for an unusual loophole.

2. Don't Wear A Merkin

Washington State has such restrictive laws that it would be nearly impossible to have a strip club that served alcohol. If you did want to have such a thing, the liquor code specifies "Entertainers may only expose their breast and/or buttocks if the performer(s) is...removed at least six feet from the nearest patron." It also says they may not "wear or use any device or covering that is exposed to view which simulates the breast, genitals, anus, pubic hair, or any portion thereof." That means no simulating pubic hair, which means no merkins.