By Stu Horvath
25. Sega Fishing Rod
Sega Bass Fishing
23. The Fight Stick
Mortal Kombat
22. Musical Instruments
Guitar Hero
Rock Band 3
21. Motion Controllers
From the Wii to the PlayStation Move to Microsoft's aggressively-family-fun-peddling Kinect, the motion controller has become a staple of gaming, like it or not. It has opened the gaming market to countless people who would never have come into the fold otherwise. It has also made them look hilarious as they spaz out in front of their TV, breaking lamps and generally looking the fool. For that, motion controls, we thank you.
20. Eye Toy
Dance Dance RevolutionMLB The Show
19. Namco NeGcon
Gran Turismo 34
18. Robotic Operating Buddy
GyromiteStack-Up
17. Steel Battalion
Steel Battalion
16. The Mat
Dance Dance Revolution
15. Virtual Boy
Hey, Lawnmower Man! Nintendo's first flirtation with parallax 3D, the Virtual Boy went over like a wet fart in church. Really more of a console rather than a controller, the Virtual Boy worked by making you sit completely still with gigantic plastic goggles on, staring into monochromatic red graphics for extended periods of time. Good times!
14. Force Dynamics 401cr
It seems wrong to call something made of steel a peripheral, but that's what the Force Dynamics is. It's essentially a racing wheel on crank, built specifically for driving simulation, and the result is damn impressive. It can generate a G of force, rotate as though on a turntable, and even ruin your credit rating. No, really—the thing costs upwards of $100,000.
13. Resident Evil Chainsaw
Resident Evil 4Resident Evil 4
12. The Nintendo Power Glove
A long time ago, we saw a punk rock singer pause in the middle of the set, strap on the Power Glove, and proceed to tell the audience that the next song was called "I've Got the Glove and the Glove Says, 'Fuck You!'" He promptly gave us the finger with it and launched into a fast song in which those were the only lyrics. It was the best use of the NES Power Glove we've ever seen—it's not like it actually worked as a game controller!
11. Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style
Shaolin Style
10. Tony Hawk Skateboard
Because a skateboard without wheels is very useful. We have yet to figure what was worse: that this ill-conceived peripheral was ever produced or that a sequel was released with the lone "improvement" being that it was red instead of gray. Hey, we've got a trick you can do with it: curbside trash drop!
9. Donkey Konga Bongos
Guitar HeroWii Music
7. Samba de Amigo Maracas
We aren't sure which is more surprising (read: soul crushingly disappointing): that hat someone actually made a maraca-based rhythm game, or that there are maraca peripherals available. Or that no one has killed anyone with them. Or themselves, for owning them.
6. Atari Mindlink
Pong
5. Sega Activator
The Sega Activator is the ultimate full-body game controller. Really. All you have to do is set up the controller ring in a room without mirrors or a low ceiling and calibrate the machine (every time you turn it on!). Now, stretch your arms back to positions four and six, keeping your hands parallel to the ground. Good, that's like pushing the start button. Easy, right? Now—wait, where are you going? THE FUN'S ABOUT TO START!
4. Dream Machine
Just what we always wanted: a sex swing that doubles as a dangerous video game controller! We wish we could say we're surprised that the Australian manufacturer has gone out of business.
3. The MACHINE
DYAD
2. Rail Driver
The promotional copy for the RailDriver controller claims that it is "the ultimate interface to computer-based railroading" and that you will "feel like you're driving a train, not a computer." No, we are not making that up. Have fun using your $200 controller on the hundreds of thrilling train simulators out there.
1. Death Crimson
Death CrimsonDeath Crimson